You are being arsey today. There. I said it. And while we’re at it, let me explain that sweetcorn is definitely different from starchycorn, creamed corn, corn on the cob, corn soup, corn chowder, corn fritters, corn bread, corn as seen on American Idol, or pesky corns residing next to painfull bunions (neither of which should be sauteed, served next to anything Spanish including refried beans, or swapped at a trading card meet).

Sweetcorn happens when corn is a hybrid seed grown for quick consumation of the plant sexual act between golden, bushy, tassles of cornsilk and the male stamen (Yeah, yeah. We know what they’re REALLY talking about!!). It grows up quickly like many urban kids and is picked when it is young and sweet - before the kernels start to dimple with age and the sugars in the corn are converted to starches.

This also explains why old ladies like this babe have wrinkles and drapey body parts.

Great job J - a voice from the eggcrate in your youth garage band days.

Queenie

LJ, I actually sort of got that from The Big Lebowski. The Dude says, “She’s not my special lady, she’s my fucking lady friend.” In my case, Momo is definitely “my special lady.”

But I’m just weird that way.

Maine, then I’d have to throw down.

Totally, Thao. Offer free food and pretty much any college kid would gladly help out.

That’s just flat out wrong, Opaco. I’d probably pay the total they gave over the phone and leave it at that.

TS, that’s horrible. I’m all about quality customer service. Those pizza dudes sound like assholes. They deserve a Rochambeau.

We got so fed up with our delivery service one night because they delivered the wrong pizza on purpose. My mate has a phobia of sweetcorn. He can’t look at it without wanting to run. The pizza place knows this, so whenever we ordered a pizza they would put sweetcorn on it for a laugh. By this point he was really fed up and wanted revenge.

We phoned them to ask for a replacment and they were really arsey on the phone. So while we were waiting we ate the wrong pizza (which they asked for back). Why did they ask for it back anyway. Were they really going to re-heat it and give it to someone else?

When the delivery guy came my friend, who can do the most perfect Cartman impression that you have ever heard, answered the door and proceeded to talk to him with Cartman’s voice. When the delivery boy asked for the pizza back my friend replyed “Screw you guy, I ate the damn pizza”. When the guy protested some more my mate asked him if he wanted to play ‘Rochambo’ (not sure how you spell it). Not very keen on this idea he walked away with jeers of “I’ll kick you squa in the nuts”.

Still not content, my mate phoned up the pizza place and placed a huge order and got it delivered to his ex girlfriends house. Then he was satisfied.

Needless to say they won’t deliver here now. THANKS MATE

“Hunan Shrimp! $8.50!”

But I ordered Egg Foo Yung.

“We changed your order. And the price. $15.00!”

But… I’m allergic to shrimp!

“$15.75!”

Uh-oh inflation. Now it 70 dollar.

Oh no, Business bad. Back down to five dollar.