It’s not wrong to want to be loved, Carmi. In fact, I bet she got a little lovin’ in Vegas.

Poor thing. All she wants is to be loved. Is that so wrong?

That’s just insane, Jackie. That guy should grow some testicles.

By the way, from what I heard, the bulging eyes are likely the result of a thyroid problem. That, and a touch of batshit crazy.

Guys and dolls;

Maybe she just heard the news that women fare far worse than men in marriage sitches and their life expectancy is significantly lower while you guys do much better in the LE department. Maybe she discovered he had a habit of Hershey stains in his unders and did’nt want to be his laundry lady. Maybe she found out he had a Land Shark guzzling gas at 4 mpg instead of a politically correct hybrid. Or perhaps, she just found out he had a prehensile tail on his naughty bits.

I’m always sympathetic to a runner, even though I’m one of the idiots who HAVE to fucking look the ALIEN in every mouth it has or one o’ the doughnuts who chase burglars down the street nekked to curse them for trying to undo my sacred sanctuary.

Everyone! Chill! The babe obviously got into something way over her head and got stoopid and fled instead of telling Gomer to kiss her grits because she was still thinking I.T. over (periods are sic, er…let’s make that, ‘The I.T. periods were meant as a pun and since I just ’splained it, it’s not toto anymore’). She simply responded to a prehistoric response to certain stimuli - fight or flight. Personally, I think I could take her in the punch department - but NOT Kevvy Kev K’van! She was just doin what come natchrul!!

Big Titty Hugs, hereafter written as BTH,

Queenie

Mike, maybe she thought faking a kidnapping and disappearing to Vegas would be a great bachelorette party. Perhaps she just needs some friends.

That’s true, Faolan. She does look a bit lifeless.

Wow, Sar, you make women’s prison sound so sexy.

Oh shit, Maine, does that work? I just ate a piece of paper with a baby’s picture on it. I hope I don’t get knocked up like Schwarzenegger in Junior.

I hope Mom’s not talking about you when she says that, Mimi.

Excellent! CC came back for another visit! You rock, CC.

As my mom would say, “that bitch done lost her damned mind.”

That bitch is crrrraaaaaazy….. And not the regular kind of crazy either. The kind of crazy that says things like, “If I draw a baby on a piece of paper and swallow it, would that baby grow inside my belly and be born nine months later? I must try it…”