Runaway Bride’s Permanent Look of Surprise
Jun. 02, 2005 by Jason
Jennifer Wilbanks, the Runaway Bride pleaded guilty to charges related to her lies. In her mug shot, she’s got her standard surprised look. What is going through this lady’s head? Why does she always look so shocked?
(image from The Smoking Gun)
“Say whaaaaat?!?!?”
June 2nd, 2005
Is she half-retarded, like me?
June 2nd, 2005
- too much mindblowing sex from her overbearing husband
- she caught wind of ‘deep throat’ early and couldn’t believe she was wrong
- has ‘deer in the headlights’ syndrome
just some thoughts…
June 2nd, 2005
Holy shit, it’s Kevvy Kev! I don’t think she’s half-retarded. Maybe she’s like Forrest Gump, except she’s not good at anything.
I doubt it, Trav. Her fiancee’s a Bible thumper. He probably thinks sex is baaaad.
Maybe she thought Linda Lovelace was deepthroat.
She surely has some kind of syndrome. The China Syndrome perhaps.
June 3rd, 2005
Either way, I’d like to punch that face in the…. well, in the face. Don’t look at me like that.
June 3rd, 2005
I think that she’s the same as just about every other woman, except she doesn’t have the filters in her brain that tell every other woman has that tell her “hey maybe faking my own kidnapping is a BAAAAD idea…”
June 3rd, 2005
I can’t even stand to look at her because of that wide eyed, spaced out appearance. Whenever I see her all I can think is, “That is one of the most empty headed females I have ever seen.” It’s like she has no brain, personality or character and that annoys me.
June 3rd, 2005
“What? You mean if I go to prison I face the prospect of hot girlie sex instead of a lifetime of limited sex with biblehumping hubby to be?”
(my eyes hurt when I look at hers)
June 3rd, 2005
I think its pretty obvious.
That bitch is crrrraaaaaazy….. And not the regular kind of crazy either. The kind of crazy that says things like, “If I draw a baby on a piece of paper and swallow it, would that baby grow inside my belly and be born nine months later? I must try it…”
June 3rd, 2005
I’m with Maine on this one.
As my mom would say, “that bitch done lost her damned mind.”
June 3rd, 2005
Thank you so much for shocking me awake with that pic. Very funny and very odd. Cool post.
June 4th, 2005
Right on, Kev. How about poking her in the eyes, Three Stooges style?
Mike, maybe she thought faking a kidnapping and disappearing to Vegas would be a great bachelorette party. Perhaps she just needs some friends.
That’s true, Faolan. She does look a bit lifeless.
Wow, Sar, you make women’s prison sound so sexy.
Oh shit, Maine, does that work? I just ate a piece of paper with a baby’s picture on it. I hope I don’t get knocked up like Schwarzenegger in Junior.
I hope Mom’s not talking about you when she says that, Mimi.
Excellent! CC came back for another visit! You rock, CC.
June 4th, 2005
Kevvy Kev,
I’m walking over next door to thump yo’ arse!. Love, Shamanamama
Guys and dolls;
Maybe she just heard the news that women fare far worse than men in marriage sitches and their life expectancy is significantly lower while you guys do much better in the LE department. Maybe she discovered he had a habit of Hershey stains in his unders and did’nt want to be his laundry lady. Maybe she found out he had a Land Shark guzzling gas at 4 mpg instead of a politically correct hybrid. Or perhaps, she just found out he had a prehensile tail on his naughty bits.
I’m always sympathetic to a runner, even though I’m one of the idiots who HAVE to fucking look the ALIEN in every mouth it has or one o’ the doughnuts who chase burglars down the street nekked to curse them for trying to undo my sacred sanctuary.
Everyone! Chill! The babe obviously got into something way over her head and got stoopid and fled instead of telling Gomer to kiss her grits because she was still thinking I.T. over (periods are sic, er…let’s make that, ‘The I.T. periods were meant as a pun and since I just ’splained it, it’s not toto anymore’). She simply responded to a prehistoric response to certain stimuli - fight or flight. Personally, I think I could take her in the punch department - but NOT Kevvy Kev K’van! She was just doin what come natchrul!!
Big Titty Hugs, hereafter written as BTH,
Queenie
June 5th, 2005
Frightening. And that cat is trying to get back with her. Biggest. Loser. Ever.
By the way, from what I heard, the bulging eyes are likely the result of a thyroid problem. That, and a touch of batshit crazy.
June 5th, 2005
Thanks for giving us your very original take on this, Queenie. I particularly like the Hershey stains and prehensile tail concepts. You are a strange and unique woman - and that’s what I love about you.
That’s just insane, Jackie. That guy should grow some testicles.
June 5th, 2005
Mike J., NOT all women are like this. Even in their own heads. She’s just a fuh-REAK, pure and simple.
June 5th, 2005
Walking through the airport with her head covered by that freakelic towel has permanently damaged her psyche. Wait, it was already damaged. So I guess the towel thing damaged it even more.
Poor thing. All she wants is to be loved. Is that so wrong?
June 5th, 2005
That’s true, Eddie. Not all women are crazy.
It’s not wrong to want to be loved, Carmi. In fact, I bet she got a little lovin’ in Vegas.