Walt Disney Hates You
Jun. 04, 2005 by Jason
Walt Disney World has a mandatory policy of euphemisms. That’s according to a former Walt Disney Company employee, who calls the terms “Disneyspeak.” Here are a few examples:
Guests - All customers are referred to as “guests.” Supposedly, this gives the impression that Disney is volunteering a service, not charging you out the ass.
Queue - At Disney, you never stand in line. Instead, you form a queue.
Attraction - There are no rides at Disney, only attractions.
Approximate wait time - This is what the sign might say at the end of a queue leading to an attraction. “Approximate” is the key word here.
Cast members - Disney employees are not employees at all, they are cast members. This is sort of a behind-the-scenes term.
Host/hostess - When interacting with guests, cast members are referred to as hosts or hostesses.
Show - Cast members do not work, they don’t clean, they don’t complete their tasks - instead, they perform a show.
Costume - Cast members do not wear uniforms - they dress in costume.
Guest service managers - There really no bosses at Disney. But there are Guest service managers.
On/off stage - Cast members are never on break, but sometimes they are off stage. So I guess if you work at Disney and you have to take a shit, you’d tell your guest service manager you need to go off stage.
Casting center - If you’re applying for a role as a cast member, you don’t visit the Disney employment office, you go to the casting center. I assume this applies to all jobs at the theme park, even custodians, cooks, etc.
“Honey, let’s celebrate! I just got back from the casting center, and I got a role as a cast member!”
“Um… I thought you were applying to be a theme park janitor.”
“Yeah - isn’t it great?!?”
Audition - You don’t interview for a role at the casting center, you audition.
Re-audition - If you want a different role within the company, you have to re-audition to be re-cast.
1-0-2 - An attraction is functioning properly if it is 1-0-2.
1-0-1 - If it’s shut down, the attraction is 1-0-1.
Cycle down - When an attraction needs to go from 1-0-2 to 1-0-1, a cast member will cycle it down.
Protein spill -If a kid pukes on an attraction, a cast member will be called to clean up the protein spill. In this case, the host running the attraction will call his guest service manager to let him know they need to cycle down from 1-0-2 to 1-0-1 for a protein spill.
All of this information was found on a website created by a former Magic Kingdom East Operations Host. I just spiced it up a little.
June 4th, 2005
Where do you find this stuff?
June 5th, 2005
I heard about this on on the Philips Phile, a talk radio show out of Orlando. I pick it up on XM.
June 5th, 2005
My brother used to work at DisneyLand over the summers while he was in college. The “cast members” would all hang out together and I got to see them all out of “costume” one summer at a 4th of July party at my brother’s temp apartment.
They were all really cool, most were college students just doing this gig to make some money and Mickey Mouse was a girl.
June 5th, 2005
i’m just glad that the “cast members” can wear their own underwear… i mean under “costumes”… because there’s nothing like mickey mouse scratching his crotch from a bad case of pubic lice and scabies in front of your two year old… ’cause i would “cycle down” the disney execs until they could make it 102 again… 102 million that is… for the pain and suffering… i guess i got to actually have a kid first…
June 5th, 2005
Ohhh, that makes so much sense now, Faolan. I always thought Mickey was gay, but it turns out he’s a transvestite.
Great link, Trav. That’s just disgusting.
June 7th, 2005
How did you get this information? Are you located in Intel somewhere?
June 7th, 2005
If I told you, I’d have to kill you.