Bug Eyes on the Big Screen

filed in Links, Newsworthy on Jun.17, 2005

Boo!

Just in case you haven’t seen enough of these creepy bug eyes, Jennifer Wilbanks the “Runaway Bride” has signed a movie deal. Can you imagine seeing this face projected onto a 40ft screen? And which actress would be capable of capturing the permanently startled, wide-eyed look?

I suggest either Brittany Murphy or maybe Mila Kunis. Nahhh… they both have big eyes - but they’re also way too young and way too attractive. Any other suggestions?

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15 comments

cousineddie said:
June 17th, 2005
How about NOBODY? I can’t believe this cuckoo head is now profiting from hurting her family, friends, and entire community. Ugh. You’re right about Brittany Murphy’s eyes, though.

Ev said:
June 17th, 2005
Someone should take out her eyes with a mellonballer.

Marc said:
June 17th, 2005
Are you gainfully employed?

SAR said:
June 17th, 2005
You think I’m going to pay money to relive this crap and suffer through looking at those bugeyes for 2 hours? NFW!

Ev said:
June 17th, 2005
Hey Marc.

Are you an acid-trippin’ Octopus?

http://quietwaterweb.org/wp-content/octohigh.jpg

Thao said:
June 17th, 2005
How about Julia Roberts? Oh, wait…

JJ said:
June 17th, 2005
Hell yes, Eddie. I hope no one actually produces this potential piece of shit.

Do you volunteer for that duty, Ev?

Hey, Marc! Glad you stopped by! Hit me up on e-mail sometime.

Good call, Sar. But I bet there are some people out there who would tune in. Sheep.

Oddly enough, Ev, that does kinda look like Marc.

I don’t know, Thao. Julia is pretty annoying and funny looking. She just might fit the part.

LC said:
June 17th, 2005
I can’t WAIT for the movie!! I’m gonna go stand in line for tickets RIGHT NOW!!!

Poppy said:
June 17th, 2005
How about Tom Cruise? He seems to have gone insane, not much of a stretch for him to play this psycho… (falsies!)

S. Faolan Wolf said:
June 17th, 2005
JJ…why are you so cruel? What have we done to you? I hate that hideous face with the empty eyeballs…you know this..you know we shudder at the mere sight…but you hate us? Do you hate us JJ? Why JJ! WWWWWHHHYYYYYY!!!?!??!

Suggestions: Susan Sarandon. She’s ugly, has bug eyeballs and I can’t stand her. Since I’m not going to watch the movie anyway, she’s a perfect fit.

JJ said:
June 18th, 2005
If you did that, LC, I guarantee all the local news stations would run a story about it. Think of the hilarious anchor banter: “Wow, she’s such a dedicated fan.” “I don’t know, it seems a little strange to me.” *fake laughter* “Ha ha ha, you’re so silly, Tom.”

Oh! I know, Poppy… How about this? Katie Holmes could play the Runaway Bride and Tom Cruise could play her religion-obsessed freak of a husband. It would be the biggest blockbuster of all time.

I am cruel, Faolan. I admit that. And I agree - Sarandon could definitely pull it off. She already has the permanently surprised facial expression.

trav said:
June 19th, 2005
luckily, the movie will be made for television. So, you won’t be forced to see the previews whenever you go to the movies… Unless “you get their early for the twenty“they should get isabelle adjani to play her

JJ said:
June 19th, 2005
Wow, Trav. She really nailed that bug eyed look in her IMDB profile pic.

Queenie said:
June 23rd, 2005
Just figured it out people. Runaway bride is an undiagnosed case of Hashimoto’s or Graves Disease and has exopthalmia. One of the side effects of Graves is profound depression - with which I’m familiar on a first hand basis - proud graduate of Charter Hospital, Class of ‘92. Hormones run amok do crazy shite to your body and mind.

I used to have people come up to me and say, ‘Whatchu lookin’ at, bitch’? Thyroid disease makes your eyes bug out like you’re staring. Plus, she has the telltale butterfly knot on her throat.

Problem is worse than first brought up on The Churning though. This had the makings of enlightening the entire world about a pandemic going on among Americans, mainly women, due to the amount of toxic shite we breathe, eat, touch and douche with everyday - thyroid disorders. Remember that this is one of the master glands of the body and the one they give you iodine to take in case of nuclear ‘accidents’ (whoopsy! I droppted a big badaboom badabomb on accidental!~)

I grew up on an EPA Superfund Cleanup Site that STILL hasn’t seen a teense of the publicity that Brokovitch’s power site, Salt Flats Utah or even Chernobyl has had in the press.

That does NOT make her a fun person to be around. No thyroid racing, TSH3 deficient idiot is with all the whining and pissing we do. I say let’s kill the bitch and be done with it.

Queenie
Still on my first glass of merlot. My mood gets decidedly more merry the further down the bottle I go until I’m posolutely cheerful.