Scientology is Some Creepy Shit
Jun. 22, 2005 by Jason
Can you say “brainwashed?”
Katie Holmes first met Tom Cruise when she flew out to LA to discuss a possible role in Mission Impossible 3. According to Foxnews.com, she vanished after that meeting. The next time Holmes was seen in public was 16 days later, when she was introduced as the love of Cruise’s life.
Foxnews claims that during those 16 days, Holmes decided to fire her manager and agent - and she dropped two of her closest friends. She also allegedly dropped her faith. The story says Holmes was raised a strict Catholic, but after being out of the public eye for a couple of weeks, she emerged as a devout Scientologist.
Seems normal enough, right? You meet the perfect guy, take on his religion, fire your business partners, drop your best friends, and agree to get married. Ahhh, true love.
But according to the Foxnews story, Holmes was hardly an obvious match for Cruise. Before Holmes landed the real-life role of “girlfriend,” the story claims Cruise auditioned several other actresses for the part, including Jennifer Garner, Kate Bosworth, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba, and Scarlett Johansson. Gee, I bet those girls are kicking themselves now!
- Side note: Zombie Flyboy uncovered some very damning evidence against Tom Cruise that proves he likes the smell of butt. (Scroll down after you click the link.)
June 22nd, 2005
In related news:
BobFromAccounting
In non-related news:
stuffonmycat.com
June 22nd, 2005
Seriously, people. Does no one believe in true love anymore? Think about it. Katie Holmes is a beautiful, young, talented woman. She does not need to fake “anything” with Tom Cruise. And the people who say it’s a publicity stunt.. I mean, really? Would no one go see “War of the Worlds” or “Batman” without this extra publicity? Talk about 2 movies this summer that need no added promotion. Just throw Hayden Christenson in the mix and we’re all set.
And, JJ, are you REALLY quoting a Foxnews source?? Have we learned nothing?
And let’s talk about this whole Scientology brainwashing thing for a second.. WHY would TOM CRUISE need to brainwash a woman to be with him? He could have his pick of nearly every woman in the world. (I say “nearly” because he’s too short for me!)
It’s bullshit. Just be happy for them and let’s get on with our own pathetic lives.
June 22nd, 2005
Awesome links, Marc.
I’m merely presenting the evidence, LC. You be the jury. Just like the jury that said Robert Blake is innocent - or Michael Jackson - or O.J.
Really, how could Tom Cruise be a brainwashing cult follower? He’s just so cute and famous! He must be normal!
No one’s disputing the details in the story, even if it is Fox News. Yes, she dropped out of the public eye for more than two weeks. Yes, she changed her religion. Yes, she fired her agent and manager. Yes, she has a new Scientologist best friend to replace her former friends. And yes, they’re engaged.
This celebrity couple is as creepy and interesting as Jennifer ‘bug eyes’ Wilbanks and her born-again backwoods fiancee. I think people (including myself) are just naturally curious about these very odd relationships.
June 22nd, 2005
1) Juries find people “not guilty”; they do not find them “innocent.”
2) Listen to Katie Holmes’ quotes at various press opportunites. She professes her love for Cruise using the exact same phrase every time. If that’s not an actor’s script, I don’t know what is.
3) For someone who was so scared of a wedding in front of 600 people, Jennifer Wilbanks sure is able to handle the media attention of millions. This is exactly the “attention” she was lacking from her “born-again backwards finacee (LC)” and the sort of journalistic sensationalism that contributes to the dumbing-down of America. Thanks for that in-depth report, Katie Couric. How many American soldiers were killed/wounded yesterday?
June 22nd, 2005
1) Sunuva…! Okay you got me. I should’ve known I couldn’t get away with that shit with you news people reading.
2) What I want to know is - Who wrote the script?
3) I actually watched some of that interview last night. It was totally pointless.
June 22nd, 2005
Fuck that JJ. These news people don’t know how we do in VA. We’ll straight bus’ a nine in yo’ dome.
You right, JJ. You keep speakin’ the truth.
June 22nd, 2005
LC: Remember your comment when Mr. Cruise and Ms. Holmes inevitably break up. This is precisely the kind of Hollywood publicity stunt that’s been foisted upon the brain-dead masses for generations. It’s good to see most of us getting wise to the ruse.
June 22nd, 2005
“Tom-Kat” and the “Runaway Bride” are all the talk for people like LC. Meanwhile, in our hometown, county commissioners are concerned about book displays in public libraries. Thanks for your concern Matt and Katie.
http://www.expressgaynews.com/print.cfm?content_id=1642
Get me a copy of “The Catcher in the Rye” and a Bic! Now I gotta cut loose, footloose.
June 22nd, 2005
I’ve never actually had “Sunday Shoes”. Could someone please enlighten me as to how to properly kick them off?
June 22nd, 2005
Pabst and pizza, Ev. Right, JJ?
June 22nd, 2005
Good point, Carmi. All that Hollywood shit is so blatantly contrived.
Now that’s news, Marc. When a government agency openly discriminates against a particular group of people, I start to get very nervous. Only one commissioner opposed! Ridiculous. That one commissioner has a great quote in there: —Commissioner Kathy Castor, the only commissioner to vote against the policy, told her colleagues, “Government should not be in the business of promoting discrimination.”—
Yes, Ev. You’ve seen me kick off my Sunday Shoes before… on the back deck after a dozen or so PBR’s and pizza.
June 22nd, 2005
Tom Cruise is the most disgusting man on the planet. He’s way too short. He’s arrogant. His teeth are all effed up. He is not attractive. I don’t understand the appeal. And I think it’s gross that he got to date Katie Holmes by calling her for a meeting at his office. What kind of a prick is he? Whew. Rant over.
June 22nd, 2005
I just heard that on Monday, Tom-Kat flew to Madrid for dinner at one of the cities finest restaurants. Their guests….Penelope Cruz’s parents. Now that’s some weird shit.
June 22nd, 2005
I had an interesting experience with Scientology. I was in my sophomore year of my undergraduate and was riding my bike and passed “The Church of Scientology” in the middle of an otherwise seemingly normal neighborhood. It looked like a normal house as well with the exception of the blue and gold neon sign. Somewhat naive, I had not heard of Scientology and thought it had a neat name for a religion. I figured it would be a very logical religion, so I walked on in.
Upon entry, I was immediately in the gift shop and no one was there. I looked at the books for about a second and then I decided to leave cause it felt like I was breaking and entering into a house. Then as I was getting back on my bike, and disheveled young woman comes out and asks me back inside. She then starts telling me about L. Ron Hubbard or what have you and how scientology is based on the idea that the mind controls the body. I TOTALLY agreed and was into it, and she said I should watch a short movie on Scientology. I agreed, and here’s what happened…
I’m led into a solitary room in the basement where there are 3 chairs lined up about 5 feet from a rather large screen tv. The woman loads the video tape and leaves the room, turning off the lights on her way out. Then, I watch a video about how your mind can be trained to forget memories that you don’t want. The video was completely interesting in the way that watching a TV-evangelist is…everything was completely absurd. They mentioned brainwashing which they call “auditing” where you sit with someone and they erase your bad memories so you only recall good memories…Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind type creepy shit.
June 22nd, 2005
We have a phrase for Scientology where I come from..and that phrase is ….fucking cult.
June 22nd, 2005
Eddie, you and Zombie seem to have a lot in common (the link at the end of my post).
That is so very odd, Marc. And let me say off-subject: Penelope Cruz is super hot!
Excellent story, Ryan.
I had a very similar run-in with the Hare Krishnas when I was in college. I visited their house just to check it out. I was curious. After a free meal and some freaky chanting, the “recruiter” guy (in the full orange robe getup) sat down with me and told me I was his soulmate. I never spoke to him again. I guess he was wrong.
June 22nd, 2005
Does anyone else want to pronounce Penelope like “cantaloupe?”
June 22nd, 2005
No.
June 23rd, 2005
My bad.
June 23rd, 2005
Since you appear to be enthralled by the cruise/holmes stunt, here is a little something i ran across today on gizmodo:
http://www.gizmodo.com/gadgets/gadgets/medical/religious-gadget-thursday-the-emeter-109772.php
The e-meter is used to determine ‘harmful’ areas in the precleared state of the mind. Seems this one requires a bit less beer to utilize than the one in spotless mind.
Weird shit indeed.
June 24th, 2005
Glad you stopped by, JO. My old pal JO… Holy shit. Sorry, I was lost in a bit of nostalgia there.
Anyway, thanks for the link. This may require a follow up post. That shit is easily as interesting as magical Mormon underpants.