Cock Tales and Beyond
I was at a wedding last weekend. After many drinks later at the after party, one of the guests announced, “Alright, it’s Cock Talk time!” This immediately caught my interest.
“Alright, I want to hear some interesting stories!” he yelled. By the way, he’s straight.
"I got one for you… so, I was at happy hour last Friday night with some friends. My friend started talking to this guy who looked very familiar to me, so I started talking to him. Our conversation went something like this:"
“How do I know you? Do you work here?”
“No."
"Hmm, maybe we have a mutual friend. Do you know Aaron?"
"Nope.”
"I feel like I've met you before. You look so familiar to me. What's your name?"
"Isaac."
"Hmm, that doesn't sound familiar."
"I also go by Ike. What's your name?”
"J.mo. I KNOW I know you. Where do you live?"
"In NE, so you probably don’t know me from there.”
"Ok, where do you hang out?"
"Adams Morgan."
"Ok, I hang out at the Asylum, Pharmacy, Reef… what bars do you go to in Adams Morgan? Damn, I know I've met you before. I feel like I've had a LONG conversation with you before."
"Hmm...." [He then leaned closer and whispered in my ear.]
"I think we fucked before."
"Holy shit. You're right. I am so embarrassed right now. This is the first time this has ever happened to me. That's right! Last summer, right? I remember now."
"Yep. I looked for you after that. I even tried to call you, but it was the wrong number."
"That's weird. I never give out a wrong number. I'm sorry I didn't place you at first. Did you know the entire time we were talking?"
"Nope. I just made the connection. I hope at least it was good. Do you want to fuck again?"
"Uhhh....."
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"No."
"Damn. I can't believe I found you. I remember you so clearly!" [He then proceeded to tell me details about us hooking up.]
"So? How about tonight or Sunday?”
"Uh, not tonight. I'll have to think about Sunday."
"Why don't you give me your number and I'll call you."
"Nah, give me your number and I'll call you if I decide I want to hang out."
I have yet to call him. More Cock Tales coming soon! [Talk about innuendos.]
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July 22nd, 2005 - 06:54
Awww..poor guy.
July 22nd, 2005 - 10:05
Wow, awkwaaaaaaard!
July 22nd, 2005 - 11:04
“I think we fucked before.”
I can totally picture him leaning over to whisper this embarassingly. Classic!
July 22nd, 2005 - 11:55
Ev, hey, at least he got j.mo action at least once! And… he’s still in my cell phone, so that means he still has a chance.
Yeah, Eddie, it was awkward, to say the least. I must admit that I thought to myself the next day ” I wonder if I would recognize him on the street. ” Uh, obviously not. Ahh, that crazy summer of 2004. Some say I’m a gay man stuck in a woman’s body.
JJ, yep, a classic. Something to share with the grandchildren one day.
July 22nd, 2005 - 12:05
Man, I’ve had that conversation before.
July 22nd, 2005 - 14:49
Oooh….. do tell……
By the way, I think it’s awesome that someone out there is willing to admit that this happened to them too.
July 22nd, 2005 - 14:54
That’s not fair. I TOTALLY wanted this to happen to me when I was single.
Mainly the hooking up with a woman part. Of course forgetting her would be awe-fucking-some. But..Alas, none for me.
July 22nd, 2005 - 16:16
That’s not exactly how it went down — J.Mo’s gotta protect her rep a little better. Instead of saying: ” I hope at least it was good,” he actually said something like: “I hope that you thought I was good. I thought it was really good!!” And you know it!!
July 22nd, 2005 - 17:46
That wasn’t the “Devil Woman” dude, was it?
July 22nd, 2005 - 18:09
Make Me Laugh Evan, that’s never happened to you because you hate sex.
You’re right, HotToTrot. Hell yeah, of course it was good!
Uh, nope C.Ro, that’s Appliance Aaron. Maybe the subject of a future Cock Tale.
July 22nd, 2005 - 18:14
Oh, and by the way, his name really isn’t Aaron. I will never use real names in my stories to protect those innocent victims that I prey upon.
July 22nd, 2005 - 20:38
I’m gonna go out on a limb here and guess the girl was busted. No offense to you J.Mo., but after all, she is from New England!
July 23rd, 2005 - 11:35
J.Mo’s the girl in the story. She’s from the Northeast part of town. And she’s a total fox.
July 24th, 2005 - 04:42
one time i forgot who’s vagina i was sexing and i had butt sex with her.
whoops!
ps-not j.mo by the way. i think her name was carl.
July 25th, 2005 - 10:30
just to set things straight. i am a straight woman who lives in northwest DC. the man i was talking to in lives in northeast DC. yes, i was the one who was busted for not remembering him, at first. and btw, i called him.
August 13th, 2007 - 02:43
Let’s be honest here. “This is still a place for brutal honesty” If the sex was bad or the guy was in any way inadequit, he would not have recieved a call from J.Mo. If I had a lousy piece of ass and ran into the same scenario, I wouldn’t make the call. Tell the truth now. Was he hung like a mule?