hmm, i usually don’t use a euphemism for masturbation, but do use one for having sex. i like to say that i was “playing chess last night.” sex is kind of like playing chess though.
hand to gland combat
holding your sausage for hostage
spanking the monkey
beating the bishop is the all time best tho… i got to hand it to jj… (on second thought, he probably has a good handle on it already!)… anyone remember mtv back in the day when they were good… the show remote control and the catagory beat the bishop… that was the best!
Tapping the wookie on the head
Jilling off
Flicking the bean
Petting the kitty
Polishing the pearl
Beat the beaver
Clap your clit
Greasin’ the gash
Hit the slit
Let the beaver swim
Pet the poodle
Slam the clam
Tick the taco
Two-finger tango
[…] Okay people - time to update another list. This time, we’re dealing with euphemisms for masturbation. Jimmy started this one a while back and The Churning Loyalists added to the list via comments. I’d hate to see all that effort go to waste. So whip it out, rub one off, and add a few suggestions. […]
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i don’t know, pooping and whacking are so fun. so why not?
jimmy, are you posting wasted again?
hmm, i usually don’t use a euphemism for masturbation, but do use one for having sex. i like to say that i was “playing chess last night.” sex is kind of like playing chess though.
Ooohhh. Let’s see:
Playing pocket pool.
Rubbing one out.
Clicking the mouse.
…
Chess, J.Mo? Chess is so boring, that doesn’t sound like you.
chess?
shake and steak
fiction friction
i never heard of any of the ones i’m posting. just kinda wingin it.
do your penis while doing your dishes, palm olives.
derived from a saying a friend of mine used to say.
Visiting Rosy Palms and her five sisters
Rubbing Rob Reiner
Choking the chicken
Beating the bishop
hand to gland combat
holding your sausage for hostage
spanking the monkey
beating the bishop is the all time best tho… i got to hand it to jj… (on second thought, he probably has a good handle on it already!)… anyone remember mtv back in the day when they were good… the show remote control and the catagory beat the bishop… that was the best!
Mmmmm…. Kari Wuhrer. *drooling*
hand to gland combat.
ha, i gotta use that one tonight.
meaning masterbating. but excellent non the less.
oh wait, i vaguely remember something about the five finger knuckle shuffle.
donald trump firing his apprentice
indiana jokes finding a sweet dig.
shuffle your ipod.
Tapping the wookie on the head
Jilling off
Flicking the bean
Petting the kitty
Polishing the pearl
Beat the beaver
Clap your clit
Greasin’ the gash
Hit the slit
Let the beaver swim
Pet the poodle
Slam the clam
Tick the taco
Two-finger tango
(Thanks to George Carlin and Google!)
Actually, after looking the title of the previous post, I think that would make a good euphemism for male masturbation…
Fuckin’ El Debarge
Spinnin’ a record
flog the dolphin
When’s J.Mo going to explain the chess?
Exploding the twin towers. This one only works if you have two penis’s.
Slapping the salami
bop the bologna
Walking the dog
(It’s a Ponystable song.)
Playing Tug of War With the Cyclops
Hitchhike To The Sky
[…] Okay people - time to update another list. This time, we’re dealing with euphemisms for masturbation. Jimmy started this one a while back and The Churning Loyalists added to the list via comments. I’d hate to see all that effort go to waste. So whip it out, rub one off, and add a few suggestions. […]