Round Four of Shit Euphemisms

August 29th, 2005 by JJ

I used another euphemism for shitting today that wasn’t already on the list. So I figured I should revive this for one more round.

The one I used today was “I gotta take care of the three S’s.” Shit, shower and shave. And if you’re in the right mood, it could be “the four S’s.” I’ll leave the fourth S a mystery for now.

For any new readers:
This is a master list of euphemisms for shitting. I started with five classics. The Churning Loyalists then added to the list in the comments section. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. The list is now compiled and it’s your turn again.
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Here’s what we’ve got so far:

  1. Drop the kids off at the pool
  2. Grow a tail
  3. Open up a can of soup
  4. Pinch one off
  5. Take the Browns to the Superbowl
  6. Backing the bus out of the garage
  7. Taking Bill Cosby’s kids to the lake
  8. Make a donation to the porcelin god
  9. Dropping science
  10. Visiting fonzie’s office
  11. Lay down some spicy brown
  12. Lose a few pounds
  13. Taking a signal 92
  14. Cleaning out the vertical file
  15. Buring some cable
  16. Guile’s Taco Bell experience
  17. Blasting a dookie
  18. Rolling a ciger
  19. Squeezing out a flesh slurpee
  20. Dispensing some Soft-Serve
  21. Dropping a bomb
  22. Pinching a loaf
  23. Waking Winnie the Pooh
  24. Leaving a floater
  25. I’m going to go sit down
  26. CODE 3
  27. Chevron moment
  28. Read a book
  29. Get rid of some lunch
  30. Releasing the chocolate hostages
  31. Go number two
  32. Turtle head pokin out
  33. Gotta take a squirter
  34. Crackin’ off a couple of bricks
  35. Contributing to nature
  36. Prairie doggin’
  37. Charm an upside down brown snake
  38. The brown is down
  39. Lucy placing a charlie brown kick
  40. Molesting my asshole
  41. Visit the library
  42. Baking brownies
  43. Got the Hershey squirts
  44. Visiting the crapper
  45. Have a crap
  46. Code Brown
  47. Giving Birth
  48. Shee-Shee
  49. Shoo-Shoo
  50. Drop a deuce
  51. Cleanse the colon
  52. Let the corn out
  53. Piss out my ass
  54. Put my thoughts down on paper
  55. Slide one out
  56. Put my knuckles to the ground
  57. Bio Break
  58. Make some room
  59. AM BM
  60. Check the pipes
  61. Visit fortress of solitude
  62. Go to the thinking room
  63. Stretch the anus
  64. Fertilize the ferns
  65. See a man about a horse
  66. Go upstairs and check __
  67. Secret activity #1
  68. Pay homage to burger king
  69. Take a seat on the throne
  70. Make a Cleveland steamer
  71. Going for a dump
  72. The three S’s

On to the final round!

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9 Responses to “Round Four of Shit Euphemisms”

  1. on 29 Aug 2005   that.man

    1. Go phone Elvis.

    2. Contemplate my existence.

    3. Send a fax.

  2. on 29 Aug 2005   Dave L.

    Watch the Jamaican bobsled team.

  3. on 29 Aug 2005   Cindy

    A trucker came into the store on Thursday and said, “I’ll be right back to pay for my fuel, I have to go check my messages first” then went into the bathroom.

  4. on 29 Aug 2005   Becka

    Heave a Havana?

  5. on 29 Aug 2005   turboslut

    This is one I have heard my husband use “Curl one down”

  6. on 30 Aug 2005   Wysol

    Excuse me gentlemen, I need to vomit blood out of my ass.

  7. on 13 Sep 2005   J.Do

    “Jumpers in the door” and “red light flashing”

  8. on 18 Sep 2005   Rush

    Shoot some craps
    I gotta heave ho
    Press a coil
    push some putty

  9. on 18 Oct 2005   muck

    Make some butt coffee

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