Comment Spammers Eat Ass

Comment spammers attacked The Churning a little over a month ago. They haven't stopped since. But instead of getting all worked up about it, I decided to have a little fun.

See - these spammers are not your typical marketing experts. Shit, they don't even leave a link. What good does it do to leave multiple pointless comments without even advertising anything? Every once in a while, they've tried to link to some gambling site or something, but WordPress blocked it. I've moderated out a dozen or so. The comments that are harmless yet retarded remain.

Okay, here we go. It started back in early August with my post about the time my little dog pissed all over the floor of our apartment building elevator:

You have a good site, i enjoyed my stay!
Left by Anonymous on August 4th, 2005

Thanks!
Left by JJ on August 4th, 2005

Excellent Web Site! Very professional and full of great information. I am greatly enjoying it. Your enthusiasm is wonderful!!!
Left by Anonymous on August 11th, 2005

Good for you.
Left by JJ on August 11th, 2005

Thank you for your wonderful web site and this guest page
Left by Anonymous on August 14th, 2005

Your website is beautifully decorated and easily navigated. I have enjoyed visiting this site today and hope to visit many more times in the future.
Left by win on August 16th, 2005

Moron. You didn’t even leave a link. Ass. You suck at comment-spamming.
Left by JJ on August 16th, 2005

I can find many things that I look for here! Thank you very much!
Left by Anonymous on August 25th, 2005

Lovely. Made my day (which is saying something)
Left by Anonymous on September 10th, 2005

I’ll say something: Your mother shows her tits for tips.
Left by JJ on September 10th, 2005

It continued a week later with my post suggesting American Idol is completely irrelevant:

Cocktails
Left by Anonymous on August 11th, 2005

Okay….
Left by JJ on August 11th, 2005

Exstremely lovely site. Very impressed about all the lesson there are to learn and to know how much help is there also. Keep up the great work
Left by Anonymous on August 25th, 2005

I hate you.
Left by JJ on August 25th, 2005

Wow! I didn’t know that site was that good!
Left by Anonymous on August 26th, 2005

Eat ass.
Left by JJ on August 26th, 2005

check this out!
Left by Anonymous on September 7th, 2005

What? The cock in your mouth?
Left by JJ on September 7th, 2005

This is a very beautiful website, I have enjoyed my visit here very much. I’m very honoured to sign in your guestbook. Thanking you for the great work that you are doing here.
Left by Anonymous on September 8th, 2005

I hope you contract an incurable venereal disease and lose all sensation in your genitals.
Left by JJ on September 9th, 2005

Schöne Seite
Left by Anonymous on September 10th, 2005

That’s German for “Pretty Site.”
Here’s my response:
Töten Sie sich.
Left by JJ on September 10th, 2005

They also attacked a couple of other posts. But I particularly enjoyed the dialog on my post regarding secret videotapes that prove Jim Morrison is still alive:

You have a good site, i enjoyed my stay!
Left by Anonymous on August 10th, 2005

Good. Thanks..
Left by JJ on August 10th, 2005

I really like your site
Left by Anonymous on August 11th, 2005

Good.
Left by JJ on August 11th, 2005

Nice site, I have bookmarked your site yet and I will come back again ! You have a gratest site!
Left by Anonymous on August 12th, 2005

I just surfed in and found your site, I really enjoyed the visit and hope to come back soon. nice Site!
Left by Anonymous on August 12th, 2005

This is great, look forward to looking into every area. Thanks for being there.
Left by Anonymous on August 13th, 2005

Great site guys, please let me know if you are interested in exchanging links with us.
Left by Anonymous on August 14th, 2005

Great site guys, please let me know if you are interested in exchanging links with us.
Left by Anonymous on August 14th, 2005

Great site guys, please let me know if you are interested in exchanging links with us.
Left by Anonymous on August 14th, 2005

Moron.
Left by JJ on August 14th, 2005

I send you and your visitors my best greetings.
Left by Anonymous on August 25th, 2005

Fuck you.
Left by JJ on August 26th, 2005

Nice work chief
Left by Anonymous on September 7th, 2005

Thanks.
Left by JJ on September 7th, 2005

You have a good site, i enjoyed my stay!
Left by Anonymous on September 9th, 2005

Good. Now go fuck yourself with a claw-hammer.
Left by JJ on September 9th, 2005

good work, will back soon, great site congratulation!!
Left by Anonymous on September 10th, 2005

Today’s wish:
That you slip on a street-corner sidewalk and fall face first right in front of a speeding bus.
Please help make my wish come true.
Left by JJ on September 10th, 2005