Crusader Attack

Fergie, local Philly celebrity bartender extraordinaire, has a great idea for a band (from the PW):

My dream band would be called Crusader Attack, and we'd play Christian rock. We'd dress in medieval gear, fully armed with swords and all kinds of weaponry, chain mail, the works. Our claim to fame would be that we'd attack sinners in the audience, punish them and make them pay for the error of their ways. We'd be straight-laced and sober, and abhor the regular rock 'n' roll lifestyle. Our VH1 Behind the Music episode would be more boring than high school chemistry. Only when all the other bands from our era were in rehab would we start to party. We'd then unleash a party on the world that would put the Rolling Stones and Kid Rock to shame. Then one dry day in the middle of October our limo would be mysteriously struck by lightning, and Crusader Attack would all leave planet Earth together. In our dying, as in our living, we'd serve as a lesson in the way of the light.

Fergie says "Attaaaaack!!