I Ate So Much, My Stomach Ruptured
I just couldn't help it. I wasn't even looking for something to eat, but there it was - too delicious to pass up.
I wanted to eat just a little. I wanted to enjoy the experience. But for some reason I snapped. Instinct took over. I forced a month's worth of food into my mouth and down my throat. I kept eating and eating and eating.
Even after I was full, I did a little Kobayashi routine, gyrating my stomach to try to make more room. I could barely breathe. My throat was blocked. And I kept going. It looked like I was literally inhaling the meal. I finished the entire thing and I thought I would be able to relax.
But no such luck. My stomach began to hurt, and then as if I had been stabbed in the gut, the pain suddenly became unbearable. I looked down and saw something horrible. There was a leg sticking out of my stomach. Then another one! It looked like I was growing a new set of limbs - huge bloody ones!
It was a disaster. But there was one positive outcome from the whole thing. I made the local news! I guess this is my 15 minutes of fame.
Okay, I admit it - this story isn't about me.
It was a 13 foot Python in the Everglades. The fucking thing tried to eat an alligator. Dude nearly succeeded. It managed to get the gator's entire body into its stomach, but its gut ruptured. Both animals died in the process. You can see the gator's back legs and tail sticking out of the snake's belly in this picture:
(hat tip: Ned)
Subscribe via Email
Feedback
Recent Posts
- The night the lights went out in Philadelphia
- A list of my phobias
- Meat is so versatile
- The Codes on YouTube
- Finally some positive feedback
Recent Comments
- Kelly on What do Guys Think of Inverted Nipples?
- Gem on What do Guys Think of Inverted Nipples?
- Gem on What do Guys Think of Inverted Nipples?
- Barney on How Often Does a Normal Person Poop?
- Geek84 on Normal Age for a First Kiss
Blogs
- Adventures in Blah Blah Land
- Avitable-isms
- Bacon After Dark
- Captain & Coke with a Lime
- citynoise.org : Philadelphia
- Idle-Ranting Revisited
- MacBros’ Place
- My Life as Rocky’s Dad
- Randi’s Random Rantings
- String and Timekeeping
- The Airing of Grievances
- The Finest Kind of Pork
- The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!
- The Pop Eye
Friends
- An Artist’s Journal
- Martha Brooks Marshall
- Martha Brooks Marshall – absolutearts.com
- Molumbus
- Premium Horticultural Oil
October 6th, 2005 - 03:37
For a minute there, I thought you were pregnant. Damn though, I couldn’t figure out what was what until I read the explanation. Isn’t that picture kinda representative of how we really do stuff ourselves? I mean, we eat so much more than we need to.
But jezz, why did someone have to go & invent hot fudge sundaes & stuff like that?
Okay, I somehow got off the subject. I’m done.
October 6th, 2005 - 08:55
I guess his eyes WERE bigger than his stomach. Next time order the lunch size portion of gator.
October 6th, 2005 - 09:09
That’s two evil reptiles that will never again threaten this ol’ swamp boy.
October 6th, 2005 - 09:09
Jane:
Somehow I didn’t even think of that – but it definitely sounds like a c-section. Bloody legs poking out of an engorged stomach.
Marc:
I’ve actually had a lunch sized portion of gator before… at Skipper’s Smokehouse in Tampa.
October 6th, 2005 - 12:41
Wow…..blech!
Seriously, how can something like this happen? Wouldn’t nature dictate the gator be the victor?
October 6th, 2005 - 12:49
Ev:
Thousands of years after tempting Adam and Eve, that evil serpent is finally dead!
Sar:
Yeah! Go Gators!
October 6th, 2005 - 13:17
Reminds me of “Waterboy” with Adam Sandler. Kathy Bates cooked a snake with an apple stuffed in the mouth.
Did you read the article? The snake’s head was missing. What up with that?
JJ, what beer goes best with gator?
October 6th, 2005 - 14:51
Marc:
I think another gator must have found the whole mess and chomped away at that delicious looking snake-head.
Beer that goes best with gator? Abita Turbo Dog. ‘Cuz it’s from the swamp-land, and it’s got a real “bite.” Hahahah.
October 6th, 2005 - 20:21
Sar-
I was thinking the same thing, about the alligator being stronger. But although it has the great jaw and can shake its prey and such, the python is HUGE and can suffocate the gator even while it’s trying to shake it and bite it.
Or maybe pythons are like chickens and roaches…even though the head is missing, they still keep going like there’s no tomorrow.
or maybe not.
Jill
January 28th, 2009 - 17:29
wow. well i got some advice we all cud follow………stay far away from snakes!…uggggghhhhhh (shiver of disgust)