Blog Mash

I present to you a new recurring feature here at The Churning: "Blog Mash." I take fragments from a bunch of other people's recent blog entries and combine them into one. Like a music mash-up or a William Burroughs cut-up. Click on the first couple of words of each sentence to see it in it's original context.

Here goes:

Ya know, I used to live with some cat who grew up in the projects, and he used to go on and on and on and on, about how I was a sell-out because I wore a suit to work. So, it was quite humiliating to walk through town swathed in a blue plastic bag. The masks fit very tightly, and have a lot of padding inside that touches your face, and everyone shares them every day. They do not get sprayed down with Lysol.

Our neighbor's daughter (in her teens) happened to look over & my hand was over my mouth... The girl looked at me and said, "You will be permanently tattooed with clown makeup and surgically altered to have a big bulbous nose and gigantic feet."

So I therefore contend that... you will never hear [the following] from the mouth of a midget:
"Smaller body means smaller stomach, which means I'll never win an eating contest outside of the all-too-restrictive confines of the A.C.E.L.P.D. (Association of Competitive Eaters - Little Persons' Division), and that means my life will never truly have meaning."