Five Things That Don’t Taste Like Festering Sores
Oct. 08, 2005 by Jason
Diane tagged me. I’m a self-conscious attention whore with an overwhelming need for acceptance, so I’ll play along.
Five things I plan to do before I die:
- Drink a beer in Cambodia
- Drink a beer in Peru
- Drink a beer in Greece
- Drink a beer in Norway
- Grow a beard
Five things I can do:
- Eat an entire 16″ pizza in one sitting
- Teach an old dog new tricks
- Make some fucking delicious guacamole
- Recite at least half of Mitch Hedberg’s material from memory
- Pour myself a beer from my kegerator
Five Things I can’t do:
- Type correctly
- Say no to “Want another beer?”
- Go an entire day without checking in on The Churning
- Be mean to someone intentionally
- Drive cautiously under the speed limit
Five Things that attract me to the opposite sex:
- Laughter
- Cute smile
- Good taste (music, movies, etc)
- Ass
- Quick wit
Five Things that I say a lot:
- Son of a cockblock!
- Totally
- Holy Sheboygan
- I’ll have another beer
- Dude
The rules:
When you post your “Five Things” take the top name/link off the list of five below and add your blogname/link at the bottom spot.
- Cathouse Chat
- Third World County
- The English Guy
- Diane’s Stuff
- The Churning
Who I’m tagging: Ev, Sar, S.FaolanWolf, Michelle, C.Ro
October 8th, 2005
LMAO! I knew you’d have some good ones
October 8th, 2005
Sheboygan is a town in Wisconsin, but it’s not a holy place. Better luck next time!
October 8th, 2005
Thanks Diane. I thought about trying to be funny - but I figured it would be better for me to just be honest (which I guess is kind of funny anyway).
Kevin:
Maybe it’s not a holy place - but it’s in the same state as a holy place (Milwaukee, home of Schlitz and PBR).
October 8th, 2005
in my lurking reading i think “i’ll have another beer” should maybe be higher on your list!
October 8th, 2005
Can you grow a beard?
Just kidding!
I played. Thanks for the tag, JJ.
October 8th, 2005
Misti:
That’s true. I’m a beer freak.
C. Ro:
Thanks for playing along!
Ummm… actually you’re right. that’s why I haven’t gotten around to growing a beard. I can’t really make it happen.
October 9th, 2005
JJ can’t seal the deal, or so the ladies tell me.
October 9th, 2005
Hmmmm…..
October 9th, 2005
wht the hell is a cockblock?
October 9th, 2005
Excellent question!
A cockblock is when a guy is hitting on a girl and someone interferes - thus ruining his chance of taking the girl home with him.
So the person who ruined the guy’s chances of hooking up is a cockblock. (FYI - the term for when a girl is hitting on a guy and gets blocked is “clam slam.”)
But I use the term for just about anything. When I get cut off in traffic - I was cockblocked, when I’m telling a joke and someone interrupts - I was cockblocked, when I’m trying to order a beer at a bar and someone steps in front of me - I was cockblocked.
October 9th, 2005
Then you should say “cockblockin-assed bitch” a lot.
Say it!
It’s fun.
October 10th, 2005
cockblocking-assed bitch!…oohh tht was nice. thx mimi
October 10th, 2005
“Make some fucking delicious guacamole”
Great! Submit the recipe to Carnival of the Recipes. (But not this week, unless you include a ham recipe along with it. Blonde Sagacity has asked for ham recipes for our Islamofascit terrorist “friends”. I’d like to see “care baskets” of ham dishes–or better yet, Spam– delivered to mosques all over the Middle East as a result… )
I don’t have the patience necessary to make guacamole the way my tex-mex chef brother-in-law showed me, so I usually just drizzle a buncha jalapeno sauce on avocados and chow down.
October 13th, 2005
1 Thing I can do - Ask for another beer
1 thing I can’t do -”Say no to “Want another beer?”
Gawd, I can so relate, JJ.