The Churning
8Oct/0514

Five Things That Don’t Taste Like Festering Sores

Diane tagged me. I'm a self-conscious attention whore with an overwhelming need for acceptance, so I'll play along.

Five things I plan to do before I die:

  1. Drink a beer in Cambodia
  2. Drink a beer in Peru
  3. Drink a beer in Greece
  4. Drink a beer in Norway
  5. Grow a beard

Five things I can do:

  1. Eat an entire 16" pizza in one sitting
  2. Teach an old dog new tricks
  3. Make some fucking delicious guacamole
  4. Recite at least half of Mitch Hedberg's material from memory
  5. Pour myself a beer from my kegerator

Five Things I can’t do:

  1. Type correctly
  2. Say no to "Want another beer?"
  3. Go an entire day without checking in on The Churning
  4. Be mean to someone intentionally
  5. Drive cautiously under the speed limit

Five Things that attract me to the opposite sex:

  1. Laughter
  2. Cute smile
  3. Good taste (music, movies, etc)
  4. Ass
  5. Quick wit

Five Things that I say a lot:

  1. Son of a cockblock!
  2. Totally
  3. Holy Sheboygan
  4. I'll have another beer
  5. Dude

The rules:
When you post your “Five Things” take the top name/link off the list of five below and add your blogname/link at the bottom spot.

  1. Cathouse Chat
  2. Third World County
  3. The English Guy
  4. Diane’s Stuff
  5. The Churning

Who I'm tagging: Ev, Sar, S.FaolanWolf, Michelle, C.Ro

  • Share/Bookmark
Comments (14) Trackbacks (0)
  1. LMAO! I knew you’d have some good ones :)

  2. Sheboygan is a town in Wisconsin, but it’s not a holy place. Better luck next time!

  3. Thanks Diane. I thought about trying to be funny – but I figured it would be better for me to just be honest (which I guess is kind of funny anyway).

    Kevin:
    Maybe it’s not a holy place – but it’s in the same state as a holy place (Milwaukee, home of Schlitz and PBR).

  4. in my lurking reading i think “i’ll have another beer” should maybe be higher on your list!

  5. Can you grow a beard?
    Just kidding!

    I played. Thanks for the tag, JJ.

  6. Misti:
    That’s true. I’m a beer freak.

    C. Ro:
    Thanks for playing along!
    Ummm… actually you’re right. that’s why I haven’t gotten around to growing a beard. I can’t really make it happen.

  7. JJ can’t seal the deal, or so the ladies tell me.

  8. wht the hell is a cockblock?

  9. Excellent question!

    A cockblock is when a guy is hitting on a girl and someone interferes – thus ruining his chance of taking the girl home with him.

    So the person who ruined the guy’s chances of hooking up is a cockblock. (FYI – the term for when a girl is hitting on a guy and gets blocked is “clam slam.”)

    But I use the term for just about anything. When I get cut off in traffic – I was cockblocked, when I’m telling a joke and someone interrupts – I was cockblocked, when I’m trying to order a beer at a bar and someone steps in front of me – I was cockblocked.

  10. Then you should say “cockblockin-assed bitch” a lot.

    Say it!

    It’s fun.

  11. cockblocking-assed bitch!…oohh tht was nice. thx mimi

  12. “Make some fucking delicious guacamole”

    Great! Submit the recipe to Carnival of the Recipes. (But not this week, unless you include a ham recipe along with it. Blonde Sagacity has asked for ham recipes for our Islamofascit terrorist “friends”. I’d like to see “care baskets” of ham dishes–or better yet, Spam– delivered to mosques all over the Middle East as a result… )

    I don’t have the patience necessary to make guacamole the way my tex-mex chef brother-in-law showed me, so I usually just drizzle a buncha jalapeno sauce on avocados and chow down.

  13. 1 Thing I can do – Ask for another beer

    1 thing I can’t do -”Say no to “Want another beer?”

    Gawd, I can so relate, JJ.


Leave a comment


CommentLuv Enabled

No trackbacks yet.

Subscribe via Email

Register to receive an email every time there's a new post on The Churning.


Preview

Feedback

Recent Posts

Recent Comments

Blogs

Friends

Partners

Users Online