What is a Cockblock?

11Oct/0515

I like to use the word "cockblock." It works perfectly in so many different situations. But occasionally I run into someone who has never heard the term. I'll explain, and then hopefully more people will begin to use the word more often.

When you're hitting on a girl and someone interrupts the conversation, that person is a cockblock. They ruined your chance to hook up, so they cockblocked you. There's a similar term for girls to use when they get blocked by a third party - "clam slam."

That's the common definition, but I like to use the term more loosely. Here are a few examples:

Your welfare check didn't show up on the day you expected it:
"Fuck! That mailman's a cocksucking cockblock!"
Another driver cuts you off in traffic:
"Did you see that jackass?!? He cockblocked me!"
You half-drunkenly drop your fresh slice of pizza on the sidewalk at 3am:
"Son of a cockblock!"
You see a woman running up to the elevator in your apartment complex as the doors are shutting, yelling "Hold the door!":
"Ha ha! Clam slam!"
Mimi finds out she only gets two days off for Fall Break:
"School's a cockblockin' assed bitch!"
You hail a cab in the rain, but the cab stops 20 feet short to pick up another poor sap waiting in the rain:
"I just got cockblocked by a wet douche!"

So feel free to add this incredibly diverse word to your daily vocabulary. I dare you.

And if you do get cockblocked or clam slammed, The Churning's newest sponsor will definitely be able to help you, um... take care of business.

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jane
October 11th, 2005 - 01:31

omg i spit up my water at the site of CLAMSLAM! hahahaha
i gotta tell my friends about this one
Marc
October 11th, 2005 - 07:32

My neighbor says it daily. Sometimes she abbreviates it as “blocker.” She epitomizes your link to “I Say Fuck.” I’ll be linking her to this posting.
JJ
October 11th, 2005 - 10:36

Jane:
Yeah – clam slam is pretty fucking funny. It sort of reminds me of certain aquatic euphemisms for a vagina – like tuna taco.

Marc:
Excellent. “Blocker” is sort of the work-safe version.
Ev
October 11th, 2005 - 12:47

I can attest to JJ’s overabundant cockblockage.
Diana
October 11th, 2005 - 16:41

I heard the cock block but never the clam slam:p
BeckEye
October 11th, 2005 - 17:07

Yeah, I think you just made clam slam up! I will have to use it now though. Too good.
Fidget
October 11th, 2005 - 18:06

cockblock is a common term around here. Actually I met my husband when he totally cockblocked this stupid guy… however Clam Slam is a new one for me. I’m sure i’ll get a lot of usage out of it, it rolls so nicely off the tongue
JJ
October 11th, 2005 - 18:15

Ev:
I hope you’re referring to my overabundant use of the term and not referring to my actions. Because as you know – I, Sir, am no cockblock.

Diana:
I’m here not just to entertain – but also to inform.

BeckEye:
I wish I had made that one up. It’s a good one. I actually heard it from a couple of different people.

Fidget:
I can’t believe I neglected to mention that. Cockblocking can be a great way to meet women. If a guy cockblocks another guy, the cockblocker always ends up looking cooler than the guy who got blocked.
nappy40
October 11th, 2005 - 19:45

Sometimes a cockblock is a cockblock. Like when I was chatting up a young man wayyy too young for me and my sister interruptus with some bs. That was an old school cockblock.
Shellbug
October 11th, 2005 - 22:07

I use the phrase cockblock all the time, I love it. However, I have never heard Clam Slam, but I cannot wait to try it!
trav
October 12th, 2005 - 00:01

so, what you are saying is you basically need a team just to get some… you got your cockblocker who goes on the offensive for you to which you ultimate cockblock looking way cooler… the cockblocker blocker who runs interferrence from other guys once you are in… the wingman who saves her from the “clam slam” by keeping her friends busy… damn… instead of asking the boys if they want to go out for beers, i can just tell them i am getting a team together and ask if they want to join… next thing you know, they will be printing up jerseys…
JJ
October 12th, 2005 - 07:40

Nappy:
Right. In some cases, a properly executed cockblock is justified. Like during beer-goggle time at the bar.

Shellbug:
Use the term frequently – I’m trying to start a revolution here.

Trav:
Cockblocking hook-up teams? Genius! You could swarm the bar, blocking left and right – then end up with all the ladies.
Diane
October 12th, 2005 - 09:55

Clam Slam- right. Makes perfect sense and rhymes too. I checked out “your newest sponsor” which reminded me of something I wrote once had to do with condoms but I can’t remember what it was now- I think it was a response to one of Mel’s posts about trojan viruses or something, lol. ANYWAY- have you ever been to the Trojan site? Go check it out, it’s too funny. They have songs, a game arcade, downloads….

http://www.trojancondoms.com/index.asp
Big D
October 17th, 2005 - 16:36

My company cockblocked me from pornsites! It’s a new techinical term too.
JJ
October 18th, 2005 - 20:45

Diane:
Excellent. Guys gotta wear a jimmy hat.

Big D:
Wow. Cockblocked at work. That sucks.