Making Butt Coffee: Final Round of Shit Euphemisms

October 19th, 2005 by JJ

Like a giant turd being squeezed out, the Shit List just keeps growing.

For any new readers:
This is a master list of euphemisms for shitting. I started with five classics. The Churning Loyalists then added to the list in the comments section. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. The list is now compiled and it’s your turn again.

Here’s what we’ve got so far:

  1. A floating crap game
  2. AM BM
  3. Backing the bus out of the garage
  4. Bajsa
  5. Baking brownies
  6. Bio Break
  7. Blasting a dookie
  8. Building a log cabin
  9. Building a poo cabin
  10. Burying some cable
  11. Bust out a Nug Nug
  12. Butt cobras
  13. Butt gherkin
  14. Charm an upside down brown snake
  15. Check my messages
  16. Check the pipes
  17. Cleaning out the vertical file
  18. Cleanse the colon
  19. Clear out some inventory
  20. Code 3
  21. Code Brown
  22. Colon bowlin’
  23. Contemplate my existence
  24. Contributing to nature
  25. Crackin’ off a couple of bricks
  26. Crowning
  27. Curl one down
  28. Cut a cable
  29. Dispensing some Soft-Serve
  30. Download
  31. Drop a deuce
  32. Drop the kids off at the pool
  33. Drop wolf bait
  34. Droppin a load
  35. Dropping a bomb
  36. Dropping science
  37. Exorcise the demons
  38. Faça exame de uma merda
  39. Feed the water gods
  40. Fertilize the ferns
  41. Get rid of some lunch
  42. Give birth to a brown baby Marine
  43. Giving Birth
  44. Go number two
  45. Go phone Elvis
  46. Go to the thinking room
  47. Go upstairs and check __
  48. Going for a dump
  49. Got the Hershey squirts
  50. Gotta take a squirter
  51. Grow a tail
  52. Have a crap
  53. Have some alone time
  54. Heave a Havana
  55. I gotta heave ho
  56. I’m going to go sit down
  57. Jumpers in the door
  58. Lägga en korv
  59. Lay down some spicy brown
  60. Lay some pipe
  61. Leaving a floater
  62. Let the corn out
  63. Lose a few pounds
  64. Lucy placing a charlie brown kick
  65. Make a Cleveland steamer
  66. Make a donation to the porcelin god
  67. Make some butt coffee
  68. Make some room
  69. Molesting my asshole
  70. My band’s about to have an ep release
  71. My poop is playing peek-a-boo
  72. Nehmen Sie eine Scheiße
  73. Numero dos
  74. Open up a can of soup
  75. Open wide for chunky
  76. Park my breakfast
  77. Pay homage to burger king
  78. Pay the band
  79. Pinch one off
  80. Pinchin’ a stink pickle
  81. Pinching a loaf
  82. Piss out my ass
  83. Prairie doggin’
  84. Prenda una merda
  85. Prenez une merde
  86. Press a coil
  87. Push some putty
  88. Put my knuckles to the ground
  89. Put my thoughts down on paper
  90. Putting in my two weeks notice
  91. Read a book
  92. Red light flashing
  93. Release the beasts
  94. Releasing the chocolate hostages
  95. Rob the bakery
  96. Roll some logs
  97. Rolling a cigar
  98. Say goodbye to Mr. Brown
  99. Secret activity #1
  100. See a man about a horse
  101. Send a fax
  102. Serving up a poo poo platter
  103. Shee-Shee
  104. Shoo-Shoo
  105. Shoot some craps
  106. Skita
  107. Slide one out
  108. Squash out a fun log
  109. Squash out a yule log
  110. Squeeze out a Lincoln
  111. Squeezing out a flesh slurpee
  112. Stretch the anus
  113. Ta en rövare
  114. Take a seat on the throne
  115. Take the Browns to the Superbowl
  116. Take the kids for a swim
  117. Taking a signal 92
  118. Taking Bill Cosby’s kids to the lake
  119. The brown is down
  120. The three S’s
  121. Throw a wild deuce in the pot
  122. Throwing a curve ball
  123. Tome una mierda
  124. Turtle head pokin out
  125. Turtlin’ it
  126. Visit fortress of solitude
  127. Visit the library
  128. Visit the throne
  129. Visiting fonzie’s office
  130. Visiting the Brown Mound of Rebound
  131. Visiting the crapper
  132. Waking Winnie the Pooh
  133. Watch the Jamaican bobsled team

Add to the list by leaving comments. I’ll include your suggestions on the list.

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59 Responses to “Making Butt Coffee: Final Round of Shit Euphemisms”

  1. on 19 Oct 2005   Marc

    You should write a coffee table book once this list is complete.
    Please don’t make it pop-up or scratch-n-sniff.

  2. on 19 Oct 2005   christa

    How many languages are we allowed to use? I’ve got 4 of em…hehe

  3. on 19 Oct 2005   Jimmy

    i’m goin colon bowlin

    300!

  4. on 19 Oct 2005   JJ

    Marc:
    Good idea! A coffee table book that completely ruins your appetite. Perfect for dieters who tend to snack when they’re sitting on the couch.

    Christa:
    Bring it on. All languages are welcome.

    Jimmy:
    That’s pure genuis.

  5. on 19 Oct 2005   Jimmy

    this is streching it

    ( i wrote stretching it)

    putting in my two weeks notice

  6. on 19 Oct 2005   christa

    LOL….yer kidding :p
    Ok…here goes….

    (In Swedish…and that’s all you’ll get for now :p)

    Bajsa
    Skita
    Lägga en korv
    Ta en rövare

    There. Since it makes no sense anyways, I’ll be a good girl (for a change) and leave the rest of this space for someone else :pp

  7. on 19 Oct 2005   Jimmy

    i actually took the time to do this. “take a shit” in 5 languages.

    nehmen Sie eine Scheiße
    tome una mierda
    prenez une merde
    prenda una merda
    faça exame de uma merda

  8. on 19 Oct 2005   Shane Gilreath

    ….next week - urine

  9. on 19 Oct 2005   Jillian

    I was talkin to your parents at dinner and the subject turned to pee and poop, which led to a discussion on you - somehow.

    We had a slight disagreement…tell me - do you ever look at your own poop and draw conclusions from it (too little fiber, etc)?

  10. on 19 Oct 2005   JJ

    Every time.

  11. on 19 Oct 2005   Ev

    For an intelligent, thoughtful and socially concious guy, you sure think about shit a lot.

    Not that I’m complaining.

    My contribution? “My band’s about to have an ep release.”

  12. on 20 Oct 2005   Venting Housewife

    My brother use to always tell me “gotta go my poop is playing peek a boo” I still laugh at it.
    Poop will always be funny.

  13. on 20 Oct 2005   Jesse Hirsch

    How about ‘clearing out some inventory?’ Then eating is re-stocking the shelves. I think I heard that on TV or summat.

  14. on 20 Oct 2005   Zombie Flyboy

    hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    I love this stuff.

    Now excuse me while I go phone Elvis.

  15. on 21 Oct 2005   J.Mo

    Talking about poop is cool.

  16. on 21 Oct 2005   JD

    Throwing a curve ball (has to do with baseball signs from the catcher. The curve ball sign is the number 2 made with the index and middle finger. An upsidedown peace sign)

  17. on 21 Oct 2005   Jesse

    check this out:
    http://www.poopnames.com/

  18. on 21 Oct 2005   JJ

    Nice!

    We should submit this list! I think there are a few they missed.

  19. on 22 Oct 2005   BeckEye

    Dom Irrerra did a bit about this a loooong time ago…I don’t remember all of the terms he used but my favorite was “roll some logs”.

  20. on 23 Oct 2005   DragonLady

    My personal favorites”

    I have to go have some alone time.

    I need to go download.

  21. on 27 Oct 2005   Nic

    Pinchin’ a stink pickle

  22. on 17 Feb 2006   The Churning - We Whip it Out Daily! » Archive » Get Google to Notice You

    […] D again! I had keywords for some of my most popular posts in the header (i.e. JackEBrown, shit euphemisms, indie yuppie quiz, etc). But, the problem is, those are old posts that you’d have to se […]

  23. on 26 Apr 2006   The Churning » How to Shit at Work - Another reason to hate the internet

    […] Note - this post was tweaked using The Churning’s list of shit euphemisms. […]

  24. on 17 May 2006   Tom

    Throw a wild deuce in the pot.
    Squeeze out a Lincoln.

  25. on 07 Jun 2006   roy

    park my breakfast
    say goodbye to mr brown

  26. on 19 Jun 2006   John

    I use “squashing out a fun log” except around xmas time i change it to “squashing out a yule log”…

  27. on 22 Jun 2006   chris

    Get involved in a floating crap game

    Arthur from “King of Queens” said after a big meal, “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go upstairs and pay the band”

  28. on 31 Aug 2006   Janice

    A friend of mine calls them BUTT COBRAS!

  29. on 31 Aug 2006   JJ

    Thanks for adding to the list. Keep ‘em coming! And by that I mean keep adding suggestions and also keep pushing shitballs out of your ass.

  30. on 31 Aug 2006   Chris

    Two oft used ones in my family…

    “Cut a cable”
    and
    “Lay some pipe”

  31. on 31 Aug 2006   GASSY GARRY

    “TAKE THE KIDS FOR A SWIM”
    “NUMERO DOS”
    “RELEASE THE BEASTS”
    “EXORCISE THE DEMONS”

  32. on 31 Aug 2006   GASSY GARRY

    “FEED THE WATER GODS”

  33. on 06 Sep 2006   Janice

    I forgot “butt gherkin”.

  34. on 28 Jan 2007   cock gobblerq

    i stick my fingers in my butt and tickle the bottom head part of the poopsicle with my finger, it moves my prostate around weird feeling and it feels good and then i goo hard

  35. on 30 Jan 2007   shatdatty

    Grow a tail…never heard that one before. I think I’ll use that.

  36. on 08 Feb 2007   BillyG

    Droppin a load
    Open wide for chunky

  37. on 08 Feb 2007   BillyG

    Droppin a load
    Open wide for chuncky

  38. on 14 Mar 2007   The Churning » Coffee Makes the Poo Come Out

    […] (Here’s more poop related fun) […]

  39. on 14 Mar 2007   Kurt Moore

    Have you ever noticed drinking a lot of coffee makes your pee smell like coffee? I wont even get into what asparagus does for you.

  40. on 14 Mar 2007   Kevin Kubusheskie

    rob the bakery!

  41. on 15 Mar 2007   heather

    visit the throne.

  42. on 21 Mar 2007   tia

    well my friend litapita and i always say we are ” turtlin’ it”…..meaning like a turtle pushing his head out of his shell and putting it back in….and i know u all what THAT kinda shit is like…:)

  43. on 15 Apr 2007   A.Y.

    two that i use when it’s gettin close:

    it’s crowning
    it’s prairie doggin it

  44. on 28 Apr 2007   VeRTiGo91

    Larry The Cable Guy had it best…

    Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl.

    pricelss

  45. on 05 May 2007   Code Brown

    Information

    http://thesaurus.reference.com/browse/information

    Looking up synonyms the other day for information, I found out that ‘hot poop’ is a synonym for information (and vice versa).

    So, please excuse me, i have to go take a wicked information, aka, put some information down on paper.

  46. on 22 May 2007   Doo Doo Brown NMU 507 Dirty

    I always say I am taking the Cosby kids to the pool.

    Dropping the Cosby kids off at the pool.

    Visiting the Brown Mound of Rebound.

    Serving up a poo poo platter.

    Building a poo cabin.

    Building a log cabin.

    Jesus, who knew this knowledge would come in so handy one of these days…?

  47. on 15 Jun 2007   Moorey

    Bust out a Nug Nug

  48. on 18 Jun 2007   maura

    Give birth to a brown baby Marine (my Marine husband told me that one).

  49. on 20 Jun 2007   JJ

    Good work, team.

  50. on 16 Aug 2007   Johnny Excriment

    Touching Cotton

    To Take a Growler

    Plead the Fifth

    Turtle Tailin’

    Squat and Gobble

    To Drop a Heater

  51. on 16 Aug 2007   Johnny Excrement

    “excrEment” apologies…

  52. on 18 Oct 2007   AG

    Cutting some logs, and sending them down the river.

  53. on 27 Nov 2007   emptyhandkiller

    How ’bout: push out a sea pickle, grunt out a log, or my favorite, “Time to go make a Bill Clinton” (or whomever you are mad at at the moment!)

  54. on 30 Nov 2007   Evilhomer

    Redecorate the bathroom

    Peel the paint

    Spraypaint the toilet

  55. on 03 Dec 2007   Chad

    As we say in Kentucky…

    “The green-apple quicksteps.”

  56. on 03 Dec 2007   Chad

    Poop is rad. And so is Chad.

  57. on 15 Feb 2008   bort

    beam down a shatner

  58. on 04 Mar 2008   ezmay

    “the brown dog scratching at the cotton fence”

  59. on 24 Mar 2008   Rafi Snax

    How bout:
    Bust out/squeeze out a fat one
    Droppin the nuggets into the deep fryer
    Unload the paypacket

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