So Fine So Fine So Fine
A strange girl grabbed my ass last night.
My Lady and I went to see this band Bison play at a bar in Philly. We know a couple of the guys in the band, so we stuck around after the show to talk and drink.
After a pitcher or two of Yuengling, this girl came up to our group. Let's call her Patty, because that's her name. We were hanging out near the jukebox and Patty wanted to pick a few songs. We started chatting with her and she seemed really nice. She even braided Dave's hair (he's the singer).
A couple of beers later, she walked up to me. I was sitting at the bar with my arm around My Lady. Patty leaned in and whispered in my ear. She said, "You are so fine so fine so fine."
I'm not shitting you. It was the strangest thing. She could clearly see that I was sitting with my wife, and my wedding ring was in plain sight. I only had a split second to think of a response.
Possible options:
1. Ignore her
2. Say, "I believe you've met my wife..."
3. Say, "I'm flattered, but I'm married."
She was waiting for me to say something. In my dorkiest squeaky voice I said, "Thank you." Imagine Screech said it and that's what it sounded like.
Patty smiled and walked back over toward the jukebox. I assumed she thought I was a complete geek and decided I'm not "so fine" after all.
But it wasn't over!!
A little later, I was watching some friends play darts and she walked up to me again. This time she whispered in my ear, "I'm going to make you my lover." Then she squeezed my ass. It wasn't a pat or a pinch. It was a full on squeeze.
I swear I am not kidding. This time I ignored it. Right after she squeezed, Patty walked off. I sat back down with My Lady and kept drinking. About half an hour later, Patty said goodbye to everyone and left the bar. I guess she gave up on her promise to "make me her lover."
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October 22nd, 2005 - 12:35
I think “thank you” was a good response. You’re a polite young man Samuel.
October 22nd, 2005 - 12:44
I don’t even remember being in Philly!
October 22nd, 2005 - 13:21
If it stopped with the first whisper…that wouldn’t have been strange or anything….but yeah, the rest is a tad too much. That’s agreed.
October 22nd, 2005 - 13:49
Pulled my son……
October 22nd, 2005 - 14:33
Marc:
I learned manners from Zack and A.C.
Diane:
Haha. Yeah, you were pretty drunk.
Christa:
I kinda wish it had stopped at the first whisper. Getting my ass grabbed was just so surreal.
Barnze:
Pulled unsuccessfully.
October 22nd, 2005 - 14:34
Thanks for the kind words posted on my blog. If I would have found myself in a situation such as you described in this post, I would have said something along the lines of, “And you know, if you don’t mind a threesome with my wife and I, you can find out exactly how fine…”
October 22nd, 2005 - 15:15
She will walk into the wrong guy with the wrong woman one day, and she’ll never do it again…believe me
October 22nd, 2005 - 15:29
LOL Christa! You got that one right
October 22nd, 2005 - 15:55
was she hot?
October 22nd, 2005 - 16:48
TheGeek:
I wish I had thought of that!
Christa, Diane:
True. My Lady is very understanding. But if the girl had taken ot too much further, she might have been in trouble.
Jimmy:
You missed out on the fun! Wish you could have been there. Ummm… That’s the question of the day isn’t it?
She was cute I guess, but definitely not my type. She seemed kind of young. She had sparkly shit on her eyelashes. Like big glitter chunks.
October 22nd, 2005 - 18:24
If you had a nickel for every time that happened to you….
October 22nd, 2005 - 18:46
R U sure that wasn’t just a wet dream you had that you described?
October 22nd, 2005 - 19:28
My first thought is: and your wife just sat there and said/did nothing?
Then… my second thought is – you must be so fine, so fine, so fine.
LOL
October 23rd, 2005 - 11:31
LC:
…I’d have one nickel.
Ann:
I’m sure. My dreams usually involve flying skateboards.
PM:
She thought the whole thing was pretty funny.
October 23rd, 2005 - 12:18
You know, JJ, Momo probably just laughed because as she and I know, you’re just two steps from being gay.
October 23rd, 2005 - 13:08
Ev:
Funny you should say that. I was wearing my tight cardigan sweater and my hair was sorta spiked up. I looked pretty gay.
October 23rd, 2005 - 13:44
she had her fly down the whole night.
easy access.
October 23rd, 2005 - 15:03
JJ, I’m glad you’re getting ready to come out of the closet.
October 23rd, 2005 - 15:09
Pat:
Holy shit I forgot about that! She totally had her barn door open.
Ev:
Thanks for your support.
October 24th, 2005 - 17:28
And err, where was this?
October 24th, 2005 - 18:01
English Guy:
It was just a normal bar, I swear.
October 25th, 2005 - 11:34
Ooh, wish I could have been there to tell her that I was going to make her my lover………..
October 25th, 2005 - 12:14
J.Mo:
That would’ve been perfect!
October 25th, 2005 - 18:00
Man I need to get out more, haven’t had my ass fondled by a hot chick in a while …