Ever Heard of a Banana Show?

A recent post from Mojotek reminded me of this.

My Lady and I visited Amsterdam a few years ago with My Best Good Buddy. Yes we wanted to see the architecture and museums, etc - but the big attraction for us was the Red Light District and the "coffee shops."

One night, we strolled past the strip clubs and adult book stores, looking for something different, some type of performance we hadn't seen before. Then we saw it - a bright neon sign proudly exclaiming "Live Sex Show." Perfect.

We found a small table with a good view of the stage and sat back in awe. A bright spotlight pointed toward a big bed slowly spinning in the middle of the stage. Couple after couple strutted out onto the stage and boned right there on the bed. They contorted into every position you could imagine. But one couple stood out from the rest.

It was a huge black dude and a petite blond woman. The dude was wearing a Batman cowl and cape, with nothing underneath. She was completely naked. They went at it for nearly half an hour, switching positions again and again. The bed was spinning the whole time, allowing spectators to see every angle of every position.

The couple "finished" and headed backstage, making way for the headlining act: The Banana Show! I'm sure you can imagine what a banana show is, but I'll explain anyway.

A naked woman walked out onto the stage carrying a bunch of bananas in one hand. This was a sex club - no time to strip! She asked the audience for volunteers and a few hesitant guys walked up to the stage. Then the room filled with music - some sort of Chaquita Banana sounding song. The lady peeled one of the bananas suggestively, moaning while she peeled. She lay down on her back with her ass on the edge of the stage and her vag pointing out toward the crowd.

I wondered what the volunteers were thinking at this point. Did they know what to expect? Were they embarrassed to be at eye level with a stranger's vag?

She took the peeled banana and slowly slid it in a couple of inches. She moved her hands away and the banana stayed in place. Then she ordered each guy to take a bite. One-by-one they dove right in. The last guy finished off the banana, the woman stood up and took a bow, and the crowd cheered like they just watched their team score the winning touchdown in the Super Bowl.