A while back, I posted a quiz from the New York Post on Indie-Yuppies. The article itself was pretty tongue in cheek, and knowing hipsters, it’s already out of date.

Recently, an anonymous commenter tried to make a point on that post. First, it doesn’t make sense. That entry was posted back in May. It’s not like a lot of people are going back to read it. Second, I can’t quite tell if the comment is genuine. It’s pretty ridiculous. I figure it’s either a joke, or the person who wrote it is suffering from some sort of head trauma.

Here’s the comment:

yuppies suck big fucking ass and anyone who is a yuppie should die a horrible slow death, while i watch and roast hotdogs over a slow fire. fuck all yuppies and anything they do or are connected to.

The commenter used the name “Fuck Yuppies.”

My first thought was that Fuck Yuppies just didn’t quite understand what “yuppie” means. My response:

You hate yuppies - okay I understand that much. But perhaps you’re missing something.
Yuppie is short for young urban professional, meaning a young person living in a city who has a profession.
I guess you’re saying that all young people who live in the city should be jobless. Or maybe all city dwellers with jobs should be old. Or all young people with jobs should live in the suburbs.
Oh now I get it. All young people belong in the suburbs. That makes sense.

But now, looking back again, I’m thinking there’s more to it. I mean, anyone can hate another group. It’s petty, it’s easy, and it’s totally unsurprising. Like: “I hate all (Christians, Liberals, Blacks, New Yorkers, Vegetarians). I want them all to die.”

But this person goes beyond hatred of Yuppies. They want to cook hot dogs while watching yuppies die. Now that’s fucking psychotic. It’s like they are mixing their hatred with something I would assume they enjoy.

Like: “I hate yuppies. I want them to die while I sing Christmas carols.”
Or: “I hate yuppies. I want to smash their heads in while I take Friday off work.”
Or: “I hate yuppies. I want to run them over in my car while I masturbate in the driver’s seat.”

Dude, relaaaax. Go enjoy your hotdogs and leave the defenseless yuppies alone.