Will I ever learn?
Dec. 02, 2005 by J.Mo
I just got to work about 30 minutes ago (it’s 10:30 now) and received the following email from a friend:
“I am so hungover I don’t know if I can even function…”
Here’s the rest of our conversation:
“Oh no. I’m not feeling too hot myself. Why must I continue to make the same mistakes over and over and over and over again … out til 1am at Asylum. I hate it when I wake up in the morning, hungover as hell, and realize it’s not a weekend.”
“I really feel like shit. Already had a bacon, egg, and cheese bagel, 40 oz of diet coke, two aleve and now onto Gatorade.”
“I have had nothing to eat, but already went to the bathroom twice this morning. All I gotta say is 8 Jamesons and triple X hot wings are a dangerous combination.”
“Holy shitburgers! I think I kissed the bartender last night…
“Oh no…. I HATE it when that happens! What bar?”
“Are we still going to happy hour tonight?”
“If I’m feeling better.
“You will.”
“I’m an alcoholic trooper.”
“Is there any other kind?”
I just finished a ham sandwich. Back to the bathroom for me… for the third time. What I wanna know is will I be making this same mistake in 20 years? Uhhh, yeah, probably so. At least I don’t have to go to work tomorrow.
December 2nd, 2005
Oh you’ll learn not to eat triple X hot wings…but that’s probably it.
December 2nd, 2005
Maybe after I throw up in the trash can under my desk I will begin to feel human…maybe
December 2nd, 2005
JMo, you never stop doing it. It’s a vicious cycle. I think I did ALL those things Wednesday night/Thursday morning; from the coke, to the food, to the bartender.
December 2nd, 2005
Remind me, what are the qualifications for an alcoholic again?
December 2nd, 2005
J.Mo:
I was soooooo hungover on the flight back. I may write about it later, but I drank at least 6 Red Horse (20 oz) after I already had two 12oz beers. I passed out around 9pm and had to get up at 2am for our 24 hour trip back home. Ugh!
December 2nd, 2005
Here’s me at around 8:30pm that night:
http://www.thechurning.com/images/jjdrinking.jpg
December 2nd, 2005
CRo: After 16 years, you know me so well.
LewLew: Hair of the dog @ Big Hunt after work!
Marc: We HAVE to meet. Like two peas in a pod, along with LewLew.
Ev: Ask JJ, or LewLew, or Marc, or CRo. All alcoholics.
JJ: Damn, Wish I was there with you! I heard your lady had to carry you to bed. I’m making that photo my desktop… after I shit for the fourth time.
Ev: Actually, sounds like JJ might know the most about what the qualifications are.
On a sidenote, I’m planning a sociological experiment. Videotape myself drinking on three different occassions (wine, beer, whiskey) with two of my friends. We will monitor our drinking and see how different alcohol affects us differently.
Ev: Thinking up shit like this is one qualification of being an alcoholic.
December 2nd, 2005
FYI…the bartender loves to rock the sweater vest and resembles Brandon Walsh from 90210. BRANDO!
December 2nd, 2005
J.Mo, I love you, but in a completely Plalcoholitonic way.
December 2nd, 2005
Ahhh have another dring and suck it up princess. Hair of the dog. Avoid Hangovers, Stay Drunk!
December 3rd, 2005
Currently just took 5 Asprin, a gallon of water, 2 gatoraid’s, a pot of coffee, a PBJ and cooking chili. Luckily it’s a weekend…this time.
December 3rd, 2005
No, one day you’ll wake up and look in the mirror and see what it’s doing to your face and you’ll stop. Only took me 35 years.
December 4th, 2005
Enough water and alpha hydroxy the next day will prevent it from ruining your face. After 36 years, I still haven’t learned.
December 6th, 2005
Ev: does that mean you only love me platonically while drunk so, you ‘love me’ love me sober? Aw, how sweet.
MacBros: Great advice! That’s exactly what I did on Saturday with JJ.
CC Rider: whoa…that’s hardcore. Why do we feel like we need to ‘fill up’ to help with a hangover? I hate it when I vomit right after a great meal (when hungover). What a waste of money!!
Diane & Marc: My dad likes to remind me that even though I look young at 32, if I keep on with my ‘lifestyle’ I’m going to wake up at the age of 40 and find myself having aged 15 years. Thanks, Dad! Marc, is hydrating and alpha hydroxy really the key!?!?
December 9th, 2005
Clearly you’re not drunk in that picture, JJ (or the person taking it either). Whenever I had the misopportunity to have a photo taken when drinking/drunk, I was smiling like a cheshire cat, had my hand on some girl’s boob, or looked like a baboon on a school trip (yes, the red butt syndrome - what IS it about college and mooning?!) Needless to say my parents are miffed I have few college pics, I daren’t tell them where their money really went…