Five Weird Habits
Dec. 13, 2005 by Jason
Why is “weird” spelled like that? I thought the rule was “i” before “e” - blah blah blah. Sorry, I couldn’t bear to type the “except after c” part. I hate rhyming.
See, Diane tagged me. I’m supposed to describe five of my weird habits. For me, the problem isn’t describing them; it’s narrowing them down to just five.
1. Let’s start with the spelling thing. I nitpick spelling and grammar anywhere and everywhere. On my recent trip to Thailand for example, I couldn’t believe what I saw in a travel advertisement. I was thumbing through the Bangkok Airways brochure for Samui when I noticed they spelled the word “snorkeling” two different ways: “snorkeling” (correct) and “snorkelling” (ridiculous). It’s not that it bothers me really, I just can’t help noticing these things. Plus, they should probably fire their copy editor.
2. You do not want to watch a movie with me. I’m that annoying guy who always announces what other movies the actors were in.
*Whispering*
“Hey, that’s the lady who plays the guy’s wife on Grey’s Anatomy.”
“What guy’s wife?”
“You know - the guy from Can’t Buy me Love.”
“Oh yeah.”
3. I like to drop wolf bait. I normally shit twice a day. Though, that’s not really a weird habit. Hell, it’s not even a habit, it’s just something I was thinking about recently. This weekend one of my relatives (who will remain nameless) said she shits once every three days. “Everyone’s body is different,” she said.
Fuck that. I do not want three day old shit in my lower intestine. With each hour that passes, that organic matter takes another step away from the food it once was toward its new life as bacteria infested filth.
Plus, how long does it take to expel three days worth of stink nuggets? I don’t have the kind of time and energy it would require to drop that off in one sitting.
4. I like to watch movies and TV shows that I’ve already seen. Hell, I prefer them. I could watch The Simpsons psychedelic chili episode a thousand times without getting tired of it.
The same is true for radio. The Opie and Anthony show plays live at 7am on XM, then it replays throughout the day. I listen all day at work, so I often hear most of the show three times in one day.
5. I don’t smile in pictures. It’s not that I’m trying to look cool, it’s just that I can’t stand fake smiles. Someone whips out their camera, says “Hey look over here.” We gather together and face the camera. The person with the camera says, “Smile” and everyone suddenly perks up with a big fake grin.
Sorry. I’m just not doing it. I’m not an actor. You gotta catch me when I’m actually smiling (or get me drunk).
I’m supposed to tag some other people - so here are a few bloggers who’ve added me on Myspace. I don’t care if you write a post on this, but I’m going to tag you anyway. At least you’re getting a link out of it:
Mojotek
Kira
CousinEddie
Sarah
Poppy
December 13th, 2005
LOL @ narrowing them down. Wolf bait? Is that on the list??? I’m going to have to revisit that post.
December 13th, 2005
I’m with you on the spelling thing. I think my biggest peeve is people who spell “a lot” alot or allot. Seriously, people!
LC
December 13th, 2005
I do #4 all of the time. I’ll watch the same episodes of Law & Order (CI & SVU) over and over. Drives my husband crazy. Yet SportsCenter repeats itself a bazillion times and he’ll watch it like 3 times in the same day. I’m a one viewing of SportsCenter kinda gal. Then again, he’s the kind of guy who has to watch a movie (EVERY MOVIE) several times to really understand it. Maybe it’s the same with SportsCenter?
(He’s not the brightest crayon in the box, but shhhhhhh keep that on the DL)
December 13th, 2005
I’m so on board with #5. I can’t smile for the camera if my (sober) life depended on it…
As for your unnamed relative in #3. Perhaps it’s not 3 day old poop in their intestines, but merely that they drink their dinners. Not that that happens to me or anything…
December 13th, 2005
I contemplated documenting my ‘wolf bait’ habit of several times a day but decided to go with the nose picking instead…
…very funny, well done!
December 13th, 2005
Funny post! Now I’ll go back and read some of your other posts.
December 13th, 2005
I’m with you on #2 & #5.
But I tend to be more annoying with the actor thingie since I can never remember a name, but never forget a face. So instead of making annoying comments, I ask annoying questions to see if anyone in the room knows the name and where that specific actor have showed up before :p
As for smiling on piccies - no thanks. Unless I actually happen to have a great time when someone have a cam around of course :p
The spelling bit only bugs me when the misspelling is done because of lazyness. In biz spelling is sacred though. I usually get away with my spelling errors since English isn’t my native language…and it works until people find out that I’ve been outside my native country for the past 10 years :p After that it usually doesn’t work anymore.
December 13th, 2005
I don’t like pictures of people smiling. Do they expect me to believe that the camera was so funny that everyone looked at it and couldn’t resist cracking up?
December 13th, 2005
“Why is “weird” spelled like that? I thought the rule was “i” before “e” - blah blah blah. Sorry, I couldn’t bear to type the “except after c” part. I hate rhyming.”
….Or sounding like “A” as in “neighbor” and “weigh”
Exceptions: seize, either, weird, height, foreign, leisure, conscience, counterfeit, forfeit, leisure, neither, science, species, sufficient.
Okay I’ll stop now. But I poop twice a day, too.
December 13th, 2005
Diane:
The narrowing was tough. I left out a biggie too: I wash my hands like 30 times a day and wash my face maybe 10 times a day. Yeah, I’m a freak.
LC:
I think part of that obsession may come from editing copy for a living.
April:
I’ll watch some movies a dozen times to extract all possible meaning, like Memento for example. I’ve watched it backwards and forwards (literally).
C Ro:
Drinking your dinner? I’ve been there before (too many times perhaps).
Peakah:
Hmmm… nose picking. I don’t know if I’ve ever covered that subject here. Thanks for the idea!
Carol:
Thanks. Glad you enjoyed it. Come back soon!
Christa:
I’m sorta the same with the actor thing. I can always remember a face and I can usually remember what movies they’ve been in. but I can’t always remember their name.
Maine:
Reminds me of Mitch Hedberg -
“My sister Wendy has a family and a family picture on their VCR where they’re all looking slightly to the left. Like something over there happened, and made everybody happy. But my sister’s cross-eyed, so she can’t quite pull it off. One eye is right the fuck on.”
Jillian:
That’s too many exceptions for the “i before e” thing to be a rule. Too many exceptions I tell ya!
December 13th, 2005
Wrong Turn- you’ve seen that one how many times?
December 14th, 2005
Key word there, SOME MOVIES. My husband has to watch ALL MOVIES several times. Example: Finding Nemo.
December 14th, 2005
Diane:
I don’t know that one. That movie conversation took place while watching the Will Ferrell movie Kicking & Screaming. It’s a kids’ movie more or less, but it was funny as fuck.
April:
I don’t think I could watch Finding Nemo even once. I have kind of a problem with animated kids’ movies. I don’t think I’ve seen one in the last ten years.
Kids’ movies can be good and animated movies can be good - but the combination kind of freaks me out.
December 15th, 2005
Aww man… now I gotta narrow it down to just 5. Hmmm… this’ll be interesting.
December 15th, 2005
Oh you have got to see that movie. LOL It’s an older one and it has Sean Penn in it but oh well it’s a hell of a movie. Nick Nolte, Powers Booth, Jennifer Lopez, Billy Bob Thornton and HELL it might of helped if I’d given the right name. It’s U Turn.
December 15th, 2005
Mojotek:
I can’t wait!
Diane:
Oh yeah! Now that’s a movie! J-Lo takes it all off in that flick. Any movie with Jennifer Lopez naked gets four stars from me.
December 15th, 2005
OK, I had so much fun reading yours, that I probably spent WAY too much time working on mine. So please, have a read, and feel free to be disgusted.
December 15th, 2005
Nice work. I totally understand the shoe addiction thing. I’ve got like 5 pairs of Sambas in addition to my regular daily wear stuff.
The ones I wear most often:
Tsubo (green/brown)
Vans (checkered slip ons)
Kenneth Kole (Reaction black leather slip ons)
Timberland (slip on waterproof boots)
I just realized I have another strange quirk. I HATE tying shoes. The day slip ons were invented, there was no longer a need to waste time on tying.