I must admit, when it comes to hooking up, the early part of 2005 was out of control. I was all about one-night stands. I’m past that now. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Here’s one of my many, um, fucked up experiences from last year:

Sun PM: I went out to a local bar to have a few drinks with friends. After a couple of drinks, I decided that this boy (Ben) I was talking to was cute enough to take home with me. So I asked him, he agreed, we had some fun.

From here on out it’s all voice mail messages:

Mon PM: I went to a movie with a friend. Phone off. After the movie, I turned on my phone. Message from Ben, the boy from Sunday night. “Hey, J.mo, I know this might sound weird, but I lost the key to my house and need a place to stay tonight….blah, blah, blah.”
(Dude, if you want to hook up with me again, just say so, don’t make up an excuse. And if it’s not an excuse, don’t you have other friends to stay with?!?)

Tue AM: I call Ben back mid-day saying that I hoped he found a place to stay the night before.

Wed AM: He calls me, “Hey J.mo, I’m in the city if you want to hang out. Call me if you want to hang out.”

Wed PM1: “Hey J.mo, it’s Ben. I called you earlier. Let’s hang out. I can hop on the 78 bus and be at your house in ten minutes.”
(WTF? He knows my bus number?)

Wed PM2: “Hey J.mo, it’s Ben again. I left you a messsage hoping to hanging out with you tonight, but maybe you’re avoiding my calls.”

Thu AM: “Hey J.mo, it’s Ben again. What’s up? Let’s hang out tonight, I’ll be in your neighborhood. I had a great time with you on Sunday night. Let’s have fun again.”

Thu PM: “Hey Ben, sorry I missed your calls. I can’t hang out tonight I have plans.”

Thu PM: “Hey J.mo, let’s hang out!!! I can hop on the bus!”

Fri PM: “Hey J.mo, what’s up? I’m in the city. Let’s hang out tonight.”

Fri PM2: “Hey J.mo, what are you doing tonight? Call me back!”

Fri PM3: “Hey J.mo, what’s going on tonight? Why aren’t you returning my calls? Let’s hang out. I’m in town with my friend, Carl. We want to hang out. Apt 506!”
(At this point, I was a little freaked out. He remembered my apt number!! Shit. I told the security guard downstairs to not let anyone in to the building to see me unless I buzzed them in. I turned off my phone.)

Friday PM4: “Hey! Carl and I are hanging out and we want to come over and have some FUN!!!”
(Uh…What makes him think I’m willing to have a threesome with him?)

Friday PM5: Hang up.

Friday PM6: Hang up.

Friday PM7: “Hey J.mo! Where are you? Answer your phone! Carl and I want to have some fun tonight!!!! We want to come over!!!”

Sat AM: I woke up, listened to seven messages he left for me on Friday night. Holy shit.

Sat AM: “Hey Ben. I received your messages last night, all SEVEN of your messages and well, I had a great time with you on Sunday night, but don’t call me ever again.”

I told a friend of mine about him soon thereafter, and well, she had a similar experience with him! I didn’t include all his voice mail messages in this posting, but honestly, no exaggeration, I think he called me about 15 times in 6 days. So, on a scale of 1 to 10…

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