World’s Shortest Fairy Tale
This email forward's been around for a while now, but it was new to me. Martha sent it my way a couple of days ago...
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said,"NO!" And the guy lived happily ever after and went fishing and hunting and played golf a lot and drank beer and left the toilet seat up and farted whenever he wanted.
I like the idea. I get the joke. Pretty funny. But I'm thinking that certain parts of this fantasy of single life don't really apply to guys in my generation.
Fishing, hunting and playing golf? No thanks. I'm 30, not 50. How about blogging, PS2, and listening to satellite radio instead?
Leaving the toilet seat up and farting aren't very inticing either. If two of your top six desires are leaving the toilet seat up and dropping stink bombs, you're leading a sad sad life. Fart if you want to fart. And put the toilet seat down for fuck's sake. That's just sloppy. I suggest replacing those with rocking the ganj and watching Family Guy.
Drinking beer can stay. That's sort of a given. Who wouldn't want to make a full on committment to alcoholism?
So here's my version:
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?" The girl said,"NO!" And the guy lived happily ever after and blogged, played PS2, and listened to satellite radio constantly, drank beer with breakfast, lunch and dinner, and rocked the ganj daily while watching Family Guy re-runs.
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January 16th, 2006 - 01:01
P3 can’t help but feel that he’s the inspiration for the line “rocked the ganj daily while watching Family Guy re-runs.”
January 16th, 2006 - 01:23
LMAO JJ Excellent update of a classic.
January 16th, 2006 - 09:03
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl “Will you marry me?†The girl said,â€NO!†And the guy lived happily ever after and blogged, played PS2, and listened to satellite radio constantly, drank beer with breakfast, lunch and dinner, and rocked the ganj daily while watching Family Guy re-runs. But the girl had her revenge when he developed arthritis of the fingers, microwaved his 2 month old nephew and was arrested for going ‘giggidy-giggidy-giggidy’ at fire hydrants while drunk and high.
The end.
January 16th, 2006 - 09:53
Once upon a time, A guy asked a girl “Will you marry me?” The girl emphatically said “No!”. The guy, dude, at first he was like upset. But then, he toked up with his buddies JJ, and Barndon. They got high every day, and watched Aqua Teen Hungerforce, Family Guy, and Futurama, and Airplane! everyday. They even got laid once in awhile, by giving the local skinny pothead girl some weed in exchange for lecherous sex. Life was perfect.
And JJ got beat up by one of the guys. Because he was a weakling who liked to cash the bowl.
January 16th, 2006 - 11:06
My husband hunts, fishes, and golfs and he’s only 26. But he also bowls and chews snuff…….he’s a product of his environment. He makes snide comments about me blogging, but I think that’s because he didn’t know how to fill out an envelope. Or maybe it’s because he doesn’t understand some of the big words I use, at which point he tries to make me look like an idoit for using words that he thinks don’t exist. Example: Facetious.
I picked a winner!
January 16th, 2006 - 11:09
Hey, I like the newer version{s}.
January 16th, 2006 - 12:12
J.Mo:
P3 was definitely the inspiration for that.
Diane:
Thanks. It’s a good joke, it just needed an update.
Antickpix:
I prefer the happy ending. Heh heh. I said “happy ending.”
Ev:
You could’ve stopped at “life was perfect.” Ass.
April:
Damn. You’re not even being facetious are you?
MacBros:
Thanks.
January 16th, 2006 - 12:28
I could have, but would Jesus have wanted me to? You know I always do what magical ghosts tell me to do.
January 16th, 2006 - 12:53
Family guy is good and all but what about looking at porn or going to strip clubs? If I was single that more of what I would be doing.
January 16th, 2006 - 14:20
No. No I’m not. I wish I could say I was, but sadly it’s true.
January 16th, 2006 - 14:39
You got it almost righ…
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl “Will you marry me?†The girl said,â€YES!†And the guy took her to Vegas, got her drunk and had her signed a vey special prenup. Then, he lived happily ever after. Seems he can have his cake and eat it too. Or even taste other ‘cakes’ within extent of that prenup of course…
January 16th, 2006 - 16:32
something tells me jesus puts the seat down. which i think is very courteous.
January 16th, 2006 - 17:05
CrazyDan:
Shit. You’re so right.
RockyJay:
“taste other cakes.” Genius.
David Jack:
Common courtesy is a lost art.
January 16th, 2006 - 22:28
long live Family Guy!!
January 16th, 2006 - 22:54
I thought you told me that you don’t really watch Family Guy. Did you start recently? If so, good job.
January 16th, 2006 - 22:57
P.S. Best… show… ever…
January 17th, 2006 - 00:55
“I suggest replacing those with rocking the ganj and watching Family Guy.”
Those are truly words to live by… oh wise one [bows repeatedly].
January 17th, 2006 - 11:09
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl “Will you marry me?†The girl said,â€No!†So the guy lived happily ever after playing nonstop PS2, ordering Chinese every day, and masturbating as he saw fit.
Pathetic? Sure. But let’s be honest with ourselves here… what married guy wouldn’t give up a ball to do this for a month?
January 17th, 2006 - 19:25
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl “Will you marry me?†The girl said,â€YES!†And they both lived happily ever after drinking tequila, playing on the X-Box and having earth shattering sex every night.
Well, as girls got to dream hasn’t she?