Five Random Facts About Five Random Assholes: Part Deux
Jan. 19, 2006 by Jason
Okay, game over. Go here if you don’t know what I’m talking about.
April, MooAlex, and Mojotek guessed correctly. MooAlex took the early lead, guessing three correctly with no hints. Well done! And April was the first to guess all of them (on her fourth attempt). That’s serious dedication! Mojotek’s just riding on their coat tails.
Here are the answers…
Ev:
- I wrote a screen play called “Uwasa.” - True!
- I once was accosted by an overweight businessman in Philidelphia for not knowing the difference between communism and socialism. - True!
- I once got so drunk [at JJ's house] that I pissed in the backyard, while people watched. - True!
- One time, I went out with this girl, and after eating her out, I immediately French-kissed her. She was not happy. - True!
- I was friends with this guy and he split up with his girl. So, I fucked her like 2 days after they had broken up. He came over while we were doing it and saw us through the window. - True!
JJ:
- I like midget porn. - True/False - I can’t decide.
- I enjoy sniffing the catbox when there’s fresh shit in there. - False
- I have eight toes on each foot. Thus, I’m forced to wear clown shoes, because regular ones just don’t fit. - False
- I once met Brontasaurus Rex. He was walking through the jungle and he stopped to say hello. I was high on peyote at the time. - False
- I am Redd Foxx’s long lost grandson. - False
J.Mo:
- I pinched the nipples of the Zoolander midget last Friday night. - True!
- I kissed Flea during Lollalalooza. - True!
- I been to 30 countries in my life. - True!
- I can drink like a fish, but one hit of the ganj turns me into a freaky hermit. - True!
- I shared a glass wine with Tommy Lee Jones while watching dailys for his latest film. - True!
Jillian:
- I am the only person to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis. - Chuck Norris!
- I still listen to Vanilla Ice. - True!
- I am almost eight feet tall - False (Or is this another Chuck Norris fact?)
- There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures I allow to live. - Chuck Norris!
- Rather than being birthed like a normal child, I instead decided to punch my way out of my mother’s womb. - Chuck Norris!
Jimmy:
- I have a wooden leg with a real foot. - False
- My nickname is Boogie. - False
- I see dead people. But… they’re dead. - True! (Well, this is true for pretty much anyone who’s ever been to a funeral)
- I don’t like using knives while fighting people. - True!
- I make love to my hand. - True!
Thanks for playing.
January 19th, 2006
Damn it. Even I was wrong!! Yay! April’s the big winner. Everyone else sucks. Just kidding. You guys rocked. My listing was an easy one since bthey were all true! Good job, readers…
January 19th, 2006
1. I am creamin’ my jeans from excitement at being mentioned on “The Churning!” - KINDA TRUE
2. JJ is my hero, but I think I want to fuck Ev. - TRUE/FALSE/MAYBE
3. I had a lesbian threeway with J.Mo and Jillian. - FALSE, but maybe someday!
4. I actually fell for THIS at work today… and my co-workers heard… and my face was as red as a baboon’s ass! - TRUE
5. I love gay porn. - ???
January 19th, 2006
Everyone should see Zoolander. I have yet to see it, but P3 swears by it. And there is a little person in it … who happened to be in a play with a friend of mine. And yes, I pinched his nipples.
January 19th, 2006
Tits a Wonderful Life
January 19th, 2006
All of mine were true. I’m a sexy bitch.
January 19th, 2006
In the spirit of giving (sparked by MooAlex’s comment), here’s a new list that’s all true:
-In little league baseball, I won the “hit batsman” award. That just means I got hit by the ball a lot while standing at the plate. Laaaame.
-I fell on my face while skateboarding when I was a kid and broke a tooth in half. Now one of my front teeth is half fake.
-For my birthday this year, Momo planned for my parents to fly to Philly for a surprise visit. I was stunned. I walked into our apartment after work and there they were. It was really cool. My parents rock.
-I was straight edge for two years in high school. By my senior year, I was a drunk.
-My college degree says, “Film and Media Studies.” In the working world that translates to, “Pointless Sheet of Paper. Suck a Fuck.”
January 19th, 2006
Suck a fuck, JJ.
Suck a fuck, J.mo.
January 19th, 2006
but i kinda want to really be called boogie.
January 19th, 2006
That was fun JJ! I need to pay more attention to who writes what.
I’m going right now to Netflix and rent Zoolander, and Jimmy-
Only if you pronounce it boojee You know- like Long John Baldry sings it in “Don’t Try to Lay No Boogie Woogie on the King of
Rock and Roll”.
January 19th, 2006
i liked zoolander. i didn’t freak over it though.
j-mo, for some reason i don’t think you will like it. it’s kinda like the stuff i think is funny and you don’t understand why.
January 19th, 2006
Damn right I was riding on those girls’ coat-tails… As soon as you said “at least one person has it right…” I knew exactly who to copy off of!
Big ups to meeeeeee… Big ups to mmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEE!