Inaccurate Celebrity Trivia
Jan. 27, 2006 by Jason
Once again I present a few tidbits of completely fabricated celebrity trivia:
- Freddie Prinze Junior has two scrotums but only one testicle.
- The Olsen twins have announced plans to market their own line of giant novelty sunglasses. They look just like the girls’ regular sunglasses, but while the twins wear them to look cool, non-celebrities will wear them because they want to look ridiculous.
- Joaquin Phoenix is not able to speak louder than a whisper. It’s not a vocal disorder though; it’s actually part of his religion - The Church of the Whispering Johnny Cash (The Other J.C.).
- Brittany Murphy has an irreversible bacteria imbalance in her lower intestine. It’s not painful and it will not have a negative impact on her health, but there is one side effect: her farts always smell like delicious chocolate.
- People come to The Churning every day looking for naked pictures of Mila Kunis.
Okay, that last one’s true. It has something to do with a picture I linked in an old post. I guess the pic was taken off the original site, so people come here hoping I’ve posted it. Well, I’m not going to show you that pic for two reasons. 1. If that other site was forced to take down the pic, I don’t want to get pulled into that mess. 2. I don’t have the pic.
But - If you’re interested, follow the jump for some sexy fully-clothed Mila Kunis pics.
January 27th, 2006
Do you think there aren’t people interested in sexy Mila Kunis pictures? I mean… maybe her dad, but outside of that? Come on, dude. We’re all very, very grateful right now.
January 27th, 2006
Somebody came to my site looking for pictures of Chuck Norris as a baby. No, Im not even kidding…but just think how cool that would be if i actually had them.
January 27th, 2006
The reason the sunglasses look so huge on the Olsen twins is because they stopped eating immediately after Full House said, “it’s a wrap” so everything looks giant on their eating-disordered bodies.
January 27th, 2006
Chocolate-smelling farts… god, me would love a woman that could pull that off.
January 27th, 2006
I always thought my farts smelled like bacon, but chocolate would be much better.
Oh, and I ate Freddie’s other testicle. True story. =)
January 27th, 2006
Well I can see why people would want to see her naked
January 27th, 2006
JJ,
Mila’s OK, but I’m a Laura Prepon fan myself.
January 28th, 2006
I agree with Mojotek…chocolate flavoured farts…hehe…what a treat
January 28th, 2006
I’m not sure what my farts smell like- as soon as I cut one I get as far away from the area farted in as possible.
January 29th, 2006
Who is Mila Kunis? She a famous model or something?
January 29th, 2006
Maine:
Well said. Consider it a gift.
JuicyA:
Even as a baby, he probably had huge biceps and a steely glare.
Soviet:
Yeah. Not only are their sunglasses huge, but so are their oversized heads. I guess anything looks oversized compared to their skin-and-bones physiques.
Mojotek:
But something tells me the actual “chocolate” that follows the fart wouldn’t taste all that great.
April:
Yummy!
Turboslut:
True. I’m sure it would be an impressive sight.
Poobah:
Excellent choice. I saw her Maxim pics. Very nice.
Christa:
Hahahah..
Diane:
You don’t stick around to take credit? Shocking!
English Guy:
She’s on “That 70’s Show.” To me, the thing that seems so unique about her is her eyes - especially in that third picture.
November 25th, 2008
It seems to me that all it takes to decide of a certain piece of trivia is true or fabricated is some common sense. It is pretty sad that some people believe that these facts are true. Thanks for clarifying, though!
November 25th, 2008
Ummm.. Yeah. I just made them up. That’s the joke.