Jilling and Other Masturbating Euphemisms
February 16th, 2006 by JJ
Update 01/04/2007: If you’d like to add to the list, use this link.
Okay people - time to update another list. This time, we’re dealing with euphemisms for masturbation. Jimmy started this one a while back and The Churning Loyalists added to the list via comments. I’d hate to see all that effort go to waste. So whip it out, rub one off, and add a few suggestions.
- Bang yourself
- Beat the beaver
- Beating the bishop
- Bop the bologna
- Choking the chicken
- Clap your clit
- Clicking the mouse
- Diddle my skittle
- Diddling
- Donald trump firing his apprentice
- Double clicking the mouse
- Fiction friction
- Fire off some knuckle-children
- Five finger knuckle shuffle
- Flicking the bean
- Flog the dolphin
- Fucking yourself
- Getting trigger happy
- Going fishing with the man in the boat
- Going to the palm prom
- Greasin’ the gash
- Hand to gland combat
- Hit the slit
- Hitchhike To The Sky
- Holding your sausage hostage
- Indiana Jones finding a sweet dig
- Jerkin the gerkin
- Jilling off
- Let the beaver swim
- Lubing the tube
- Making my girl happy
- Pet the poodle
- Petting the kitty
- Playing air guitar naked
- Playing pocket pool
- Playing Tug of War With the Cyclops
- Polishing the pearl
- Roughing up the suspect
- Rubbing one out
- Rubbing Rob Reiner
- Ruin your eyesight
- Scratch n’ sniff
- Shake and steak
- Shuffle your Ipod
- Slam the clam
- Slapping the salami
- Spanking the monkey
- Spinnin’ a record
- Stroking it
- Taking care of my business
- Tapping the wookie on the head
- Tick the taco
- Turning Japanese
- Two-finger tango
- Visiting Rosy Palms and her five sisters
- Walking the dog
- Wax on, whack off

RSS
Taking care of my business
Making my girl happy
Those suck compared to the one’s all ready listed. Sorry =(
yeah, it’s kind of hard to add to this already very comprehensive list. p3 did say one to me this morning: “bang yourself”
- double clicking the mouse
- ‘diddling’ [thats the one i personally use]
In the words of Peaches, diddle my skittle.
I just did a search looking for the song lyrics and this was one of the top listings.
Hot.
jerkin the gerkin
“Hand to gland combat”
My single favorite euphamism from the list. I can’t believe I’ve never heard this one before… I think I’m gonna have to work that one into a conversation some time soon.
Ruining my eyesight? I don’t have anything yet AGAIN! I do though think it’s only right that Jackson Browne have his say on the matter.
lubin’ the tube
fucking yourself
strokin’ it
goin’ fishin’ w/the man in the boat
gettin’ trigger happy
wax on, whack off
scratch n’ sniff
playin’ air guitar nekkid
turning japanese
[…] by Jackson Browne Download rosie.mp3 JJ from The Churning had a post the other day titled “Jilling and Other Masturbating Euphemisms” and while I had a hard time coming […]
Thanks for all the updates! You guys rock!!
[…] Remember way back in the day when The Churning would collect super awesome lists of euphemisms for sex terms? You goddamn better remember. One of our classic lists still gets search engine hits on a daily basis, so I figured I’d bring it back and see if you guys can come up with any more additions. Todays topic is: Euphemisms for Masturbating (Male or Female Masturbation). […]