The Churning
22Feb/0628

Are You on the Pill?

This is an actual conversation I witnessed at a bar in Philly. A woman in her late 20's was having a drink and smoking a cigarette, when a guy approached her.

Guy: "Are you on the pill?"
Girl: "Excuse me!"
Guy: "You heard me."
Girl: "You want to know if I'm on the pill?"
Guy: "It's just a question. I'm not trying to hit on you or anything."
Girl: "Well, that's pretty personal."
Guy: "It's just that I saw you smoking a cigarette and I thought that if you were on the pill, then smoking that cigarette might be a bad idea."
Girl: "Okay..."
Guy: "I mean, smoking while taking the pill is really dangerous. The risk of certain diseases is tripled."
Girl: "So I've heard. And you think you're some kind of doctor?"
Guy: "No. I just thought maybe you hadn't heard about the dangers. I just wanted to help."
Girl: "I'll take my chances, thanks."

Let's assume the guy meant well. And let's assume he really wasn't hitting on her. Did his question cross the line?

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  1. can you say freak… i knew you could…

  2. whoa, totally. for one thing there is an extensive risk disclosure at the time of prescription and again from the pharmacist filling the order.
    many prescription drugs are not recommended for smokers; why didn’t he ask if she was on zyprexa? is it only questionable because it was a contraceptive?
    unless I was mid-seizure, I would find it beyond offensive if someone I didn’t know at all inquired about any medications I might be taking.

  3. ROFL…I am not so easily offended. While I don’t think his question crossed any lines, his delivery made him come off as being a little…creepy;)

  4. I’m not easily offended either…but I would probably begin to wonder why the heck a stranger would ask me about it. Especially in a bar. Lets say it’s not the most common subject for small talk…but I think I would be more worried if a guy walked up to me and asked for my credit card number than if I was on the pill.

  5. I’m actually of the opinion that he crossed the line. Socially, it’s not acceptable to ask someone such a personal question if you don’t know them at all. If it was a friend, an acquaintance he’s had drinks with before, then crossing the line would have been quite a bit harder. Too many creeps out there for him to think he can ask such a personal question and not come off as a freak or social outcast.

  6. i guess it crosses a line, but only if the woman took offense to it. i would have just rolled my eyes and told him to get moving. his follow up was much more offensive and creepy than the original question.

  7. and while this was happening you were taking notes?

    offensive, and he was prob crapping when he said he ‘just wanted to help’

  8. Crossed the line. Unless you’re about to rehearse conception with a woman, her birth control preferences are none of your business. A lot of women have sensitive medical conditions that affect their birth control choices, so you could be opening a can of worms.

    Besides, is smoking while not on the pill healthy? If you just want to give her unsolicited half-qualified medical advice, just be a dick and tell her smoking causes lung cancer.

  9. The question not only crossed the line, but was just ridiculous. I agree with Maine, he shouldn’t have even inquired if she were on the pill. Just said, “Smoking can kill you.”

    So lets say she DID tell this freak that she was on the pill.

    Guy: Well you really should quit because your chances of getting blod clots is like quadrupled or some shit.
    Girl: Thank you, freak.
    Guy: I see that you’re not wearing a wedding ring, so you’re probably single.
    Girl: You said you weren’t hitting on me.
    Guy: I’m not, but are you single?
    Girl: Ummm, yup.
    Guy: So you’re a whore too and don’t use condoms.
    Girl: EXCUSE ME??
    Guy: You’re single and on the pill. Why would you need the pill if you were having protected sex. You’ve probably got every STD known to man. I don’t know what will kill you first, the clots or the STD’s.

  10. Can the anti-smoking propaganda-ists just effing lay off? Because that’s what I’m hearing here, too.

    We GET it already. Jeez.

  11. Um yeah that’s a little personal I’d say. Like Trav said, “freak”.

  12. he shouldn’t have said anything about the pill OR smoking. like the conversation wouldn’t have been “right” even if he would’ve made a comment about her vices. the conversation should’ve ended with a witty quip about while she may or may not smoke while taking oral contraceptives, it’s not nearly as dangerous as some nosy asshole asking personal questions to perfect strangers…

    nice try, buddy… i’m sure you pull a TON of ass with that one. next time try:

    Guy: Is that a keg in your pants?
    Girl: NO
    Guy: Cause i’d sure like to tap that ass…

    what?!?!

    it worked on me.

  13. When I said that the guy should have said, “Smoking can kill you.” I only meant that IF he felt the need to say ANYTHING at all, it could have been simply stated due to the plethora of health risks smoking can cause. Aside from being on the pill. HOWEVER, I am a smoker so I’m not trying to be an anti-smoking propaganda-ist. Sorry if it came across that way. =)

  14. Why not just, “excuse me, do have any STDs?” I mean really? What was he thinking…

    As for a cheesy pick up line….Let’s all take example from this year’s superbowl cham QB:” HEy! I just won the superbowl! Wanna Suck my dick?” True quote BTW.

  15. And now I’m clarifying that the anti-smoking bs was coming from the dude and not the commenters here. Sorry bout that.

  16. jessica wins. that is hilarious.

  17. I gave a friend of mine two pick up lines when he first started seeing this girl. They were……..

    nice tits slut

    and

    great ass whore

    I don’t know if he used them but they’re married now.

  18. Well I would say that crossed the line, but I reside on the other side of the line. I am sure that isn’t as bad as the time I told a girl she had nice tits at the bar, called one a whore or gave one the ol tony danza later that night. Why can’t women just understand we are guys and if they look good we are going to ask them these un couth like questions ESPECIALLY if alcohol is envolved, sorry skanks.

  19. the question absolutely crosses the line. as a woman who’s on the pill (and also smokes upwards of a pack a day) i can tell you with no uncertainty that there isn’t a GYN in this COUNTRY who prescribes the pill without explaining the dangers of smoking while on it. in fact, they REITERATE the point every time you go in for your annual exam and a renewal of your Rx. aside from all that… who the fuck in their right mind thinks it’s OK to ask a complete stranger about their preferred method of contraceptive? or that they would be un-offended enough to take your “helpful” comments as they were intended?

  20. So, now I can’t go anyplace that someone blogs about it?

    BTW: that was genius hitting technique!

  21. I’ve been staying out of this conversation, because I wanted to see what all of you might have to say about it before I weighed in.

    Then I saw RockyJay’s comment, which may or may not be completely sarcastic. Though, Knowing RJ, he’s probably serious.

    Truth is – I totally agree.

    Whether he was hitting on her or not, my guess is, this dude made an impression and probably came off as funny in an odd kind of way. After that conversation died down, it seemed like she was sorta into him. Not only did he get her attention – if they do eventually hit it off, he’s already got the upper hand.

    Of course the question is inappropriate, but she responded.

    I know it’s not a proper way to meet ladies and it’s not a “nice” approach. And I know you’re not supposed to want the upper hand in a healthy relationship. But I bet women respond to lines like that. If you just want to meet someone for something short term, I suspect his technique works more often than not.

  22. I must be stupid, but then again I have never smoked so I did not know the dangers. But if some guy approached me about something personal like that, I wouldn’t be offended, I would probably be curious as to why he felt compelled to approach someone in that manner. Then I would berate and riducule him all the while making him buy me a drink.

  23. I see it this way, JJ. If this lady decided she wanted to hook up with this guy based on that line, then she was probably gonna fuck him anyway. He could have walked up to her and said, “It’s still real to me, dammit,” and she’d have been willing to continue the conversation.

    Was the guy good looking? Because that makes about 80% of the difference here…

  24. I was going to ask if the guy was hot. This does make a HUGE difference. A hot guy can walk up to a woman who is drinking in a bar and pick her up a lot faster than an ugly guy. And he could have been giving her the “I wanna fuck you look” even though he SAID he wasn’t hitting on her. These things are important. And you know, there could have been slim pickin’s in that bar. That girl could’ve been horny and just wanted someone to fuck. The Pill Guy was the best candidate. It happens.

  25. Fantastic question. Now the truth is going to come out…

    I kinda know the guy. He’s a good lookin’ fella – but the thing is, he’s funny.

    Now, his humor probably wasn’t apparent in the opening lines of that conversation, but I think the girl picked up on it.

    So April – complete this equation for me:
    Relatively handsome + Quick witted + Sort of a dick = ?

  26. BANGED IN A HEART BEAT

  27. Oh and funny guys get pussy a lot. Funny makes up for like 10 “good looks” points that are lacking. It’s a proven fact.

  28. I’ll agree with April. I spent a few years right after college learning that “flirting + asshole” equals “asshole,” but “funny + asshole” equals “charming.”

    This explains Jack Nicholson, by the way.


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