Over $600?!?!
Someone sent me a link to a charity bachelorette auction because I sort of know one of the ladies. I want to make fun of it. I want to be cruel and insensitive. I want to be spiteful. I just happen to enjoy that type of humor. But I hesitate. I just can't bring myself to publicly insult someone I actually know.
However, you do not have the same obligation, the same innate sense of guilt. So all I will do is post the description along with a link. (She's the fourth one down.) If you choose to pick it apart and throw in some insults, I have no control over that.
Dawn earned a Bachelor of Science in Telecommunication Arts from Butler University (Broadcast Journalism & Production) with a minor in Political Science Dawn is the 8am producer for Good Day Tampa Bay on FOX13. Dawn has a wide range of interests: bicycling, scuba diving, traveling, writing, crossword puzzles, reading, trivia, history, learning new things, music, movies and wine. She also enjoys watching: basketball, boxing and hockey. A major interest is also laughter – it really is the best medicine! Dawn became a world traveler at the age of 16. That fueled her lifelong sense of adventure. Her optimism and adventurous spirit compel her to try anything once, like: stand up comedy, theater, living on a tropical island for a year, and the Jeopardy contestant test. She enjoys living in the Bay area and takes advantage of the great weather by bicycling on Bayshore Boulevard, and driving around – top down – in her convertible, year-round. Dawn has a large group of fun-loving friends, and she is writing a book in her spare time.
Looking for in a date? He should be adventurous, have an imagination and a kind heart. A sense of humor is a MUST!
A limo will arrive at your home provide by Turner Productions. You and Dawn head off to the St. Petersburg Times Forum for an evening of filled with excitement! You and Dawn will party, party, party..., and enjoy food, fun and drinks at the XO Club while watching the Tampa Bay Lightning “Beat up” the New York Rangers.
ESTIMATED DATE PACKAGE VALUE: Over $600
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March 2nd, 2006 - 00:49
I have an idea, JJ. Why not write one for me? I don’t mind you making fun of me. What would you say to auction me off?
March 2nd, 2006 - 08:06
JJ, you’re a pussy. You called me and asked me what I thought you should do, I said, fucking write that post. Be the bastard that I know you can be. And you pussied out. I’m ashamed.
J.Mo, all they’d have to do is put a picture of you and say “This girl likes sex.” It would sell fucking out. If that lady Dawn, put “willing to give head on the first date” in her thing, she’d make way more than 600 bucks. I mean, what guy wouldn’t put up with some wine drinking, crossword puzzlin’, bitch for some head? AMIRITE, GUYS?
March 2nd, 2006 - 08:10
Ev’s right about two things.
1. Yeah, I’m a great big pussy.
2. I know it’s a cliche, but sex sells. I bet half the guys bidding tonight are going to look at the list and say, “Which one of these women puts out on the first date?” Probably not the one who loves crossword puzzles and thinks laughter “really is the best medicine!”
March 2nd, 2006 - 13:11
I don’t see anywhere in the auction listing where it says “hummers upon request.” That auction is so gonna blow… and not the good kind.
March 2nd, 2006 - 13:19
at least she’s not the creepy looking Susanna Martinez. seriously, she looks like a comic book villan.
March 2nd, 2006 - 13:44
I agree with Ev, JJ. You let me down, man.
If those are the best singles Tampa Bay has to offer, time to get out of Dodge.
March 2nd, 2006 - 14:03
600 DOLLARS??? Are you kidding me???? Unless she’s paying ME $600 to go.. there’s no way in Hell!!!
Even then.. It would have to be a DAMN good hockey game!
That’s repulsive.
Hideous.
Ugh.
Single people – GET OUT NOW!
And I bet she’s a bitch – just looks that way!!!
March 2nd, 2006 - 17:05
$600 would buy a lot of drinks for a lot of sluts in a lot of singles bars.
I’m just saying… mathematically… if I was putting out that kind of cash, I’d put it out $5 at a time, and at least fuck 10 whores with it.
I’m going on record as saying this:
“Anyone who would buy a single date with one of these women at these prices should go home and get tested for autism. You have better options.”
March 2nd, 2006 - 19:49
She has problems. The first time I met her, all she talked about was how kids in her high school made fun of her. I am 35, and I believe she is a year older than me, but come on…get over it. That’s not what to tell people when you first meet them. HELLO – no self-esteem!!
She tried to steal beers from a friend of mine’s refrigerator at Gasparilla and also relieved herself in my friend’s garbage can.
She is hideous and has a personality to match. She probably hasn’t had a dick inside of her for years. YUCK.
Seriously guys, hummers are hummers but guys get turned on visually. Would you really want someone like that sucking your cock and then look down and want to cut your dick off?
She would do better at the lesbian auction. Hello…that haircut is sooo out.
Good luck on trying to make the money back on that date.
March 3rd, 2006 - 00:17
She’s tame compared to freakishly happy Susanna Martinez. “She is drawn to people who are motivated professionally and personally with a deep sense of family” Which means, she’s ready to spawn, then she will eat you.