The Churning
23Mar/068

The coolest indie rock band ever:

Ev: You have sex with the anus of a camel.

JJ: you have the anus of a camel

JJ: oh shit... nevermind

Ev: ha ha ha you just burned yourself.

JJ: i just said i have sex with your camel anus

JJ: i had a dream last night that you and i were in a band with jimmy and maine

JJ: that's me and three bass players!

Ev: fuck yes!

Ev: We could call ourselves "The Bassiest!"

Ev: And you would have a reverse mohawk

JJ: and u would have a camel anus

Ev: which you would then fuck.

JJ: hahahahaha

Ev: You know what I've always wondered?

JJ: if u are gay

Ev: No, I know that. I've always wondered where the penis ends and the vagina begins.

JJ: in infinite time and space

Ev: Like some sort of cosmic dick joke.

Ev: Oh man, that's our band name: Ladies and Gentlemen, give it up for "COSMIC DICK JOKE!"

JJ: yes!!

Ev: And our first song would be "Come on Saturn"

Ev: innuendo abounds!

JJ: "a trip to uranus"

Ev: "Men are from Mars, Women are from Hell"

JJ: "astronauts are fags"

Ev: "Jesus rode my red rocket"

Ev: "Kirk had the clap"

JJ: "spock likes to toss salad"

Ev: "Nobody likes a searing hot cum shot, said the Sun"

JJ: "yoda has a hard-on"

Ev: "A long long time ago, in a pair of huge giant space balls"

JJ: "sometimes space gets lonely"

JJ: "who shit in my air hose?"

Ev: "Oh my God(s), I can't breathe (because you fucked my mother in the face)"

JJ: "g-force causes bowel cramping"

Ev: "Ridiculously long space name (because we're pretentious indie rock)"

Ev: "Crushing Black Infinite Vagina"

JJ: we could play at a summer festival called "lollapadickjoke"

Ev: fuck yes!

Ev: and our logo would be a giant cock stencil and inside of it would be space and stars and the moon and shit.

JJ: "eating macaroni salad aboard the international space station gives me gas"

JJ: "i lit a spliff on pluto"

Ev: "My oh my, Moon, gimme your pie"

JJ: "the moon man fucked your mother"

Ev: "Venus likes to rock the ganj"

Ev: "David Bowie Oddessy"

JJ: "there's no man on the moon - that's just my giant cock"

Ev: "The darkside of Uranus"

JJ: hahaha

JJ: hahahaha

JJ: hahaha

JJ: i can't stop

Ev: "I fell into a burning ring of Saturn's vulva" -A Johnny Cash Tribute

JJ: "the smell of fish in this giant space ship"

JJ: "...it's just your cooch"

Ev: "Bitch, you betta worm my hole" feat. Skiggy D

JJ: "stink finger space monkeys"

Ev: "blackhole tickling"

JJ: "terrible fits of depression on mars"

Ev: "Burning sensations in Uranus"

JJ: "alien love affair - is it a gay thing?"

Ev: "We're nail'em Aliens"

JJ: "suicide in the cosmos with my dick in my hand"

JJ: "space station masturbation" - it rhymes!

Ev: "Eurethra Eureka"

JJ: "jizz in my space suit"

Ev: "Everything is weightless in space (except for your fat ass)" - Country tribute

JJ: "a tear in my space beer"

JJ: "god is my co-pilot - in HELL!"

Ev: That's a great one!"

Ev: I'm drawing up the logo.

Ev: I'm posting all of this.

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Comments (8) Trackbacks (0)
  1. “They should have never gave you n*****s money!”

    Anyway, that band sounds hot. I’m pretty sure I could move over to guitar to make it work though.

    I’ll be in PA in the morning.

  2. We’ll be a rock sensation!

    Also? We have the maturity of a 7 year old.

  3. “We have the maturity of a 7 year old”

    That’s true… and for some reason, our humor is so totally homoerotic. WTF is wrong with us?!?!?

  4. We’re 7 year old gays.

  5. “Jesus rode my red rocket”

    For some strange reason, this one’s my favorite. And damn… you two can carry on a silly IM conversation for WAY too long. Although I’d be proud if I could do it myself.

  6. You two remind me of those two guys in the 40-year-old Virgin. “You know how I know you’re gay?”

  7. Laughed my fat ass off at “Everything is weightless in space (except for your fat ass) – Country tribute”

  8. I think I laughed hardest at “who shit in my space hose”..
    God, I can’t believe I just spent valuable minutes reading all that..!
    I gotta go shower…


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