All this Talk About Vomit is Making me Hungry

6Apr/0618

All this Talk About Vomit is Making me Hungry

Since we're on the subject of puking...

I've got a particularly embarrassing story about the time I tossed my cookies in seventh grade, but I'm not ready to share just yet. First, I need a little emotional support from The Churning Loyalists. It's story time, people. Email me your worst, most embarrassing, 100% true story about vomiting. Did you eat your neighbor's goldfish and puke it up on their bear-skin rug? Did you get drunk at lunch in high school and vomit while playing basketball during recess? C'mon now, if you don't play along, this thing will die right here.

I'll collect submissions for the next week or so; let's say the deadline is Friday April 14. If your story is mildly amusing, I'll post it on The Churning with a link to your site. And if you don't have a website, send me a story anyway. I'll give you credit. And if you want to remain anonymous, that's cool too.

Email your hurling horror story to thechurning AT gmail DAWT com (silly email formatting style stolen from Maine). Include your name the way you want it to appear here and a link to your site if applicable. I'll respond to your email to let you know what date your story will be posted. If you never see a reader-submitted puke story here, you'll know no one wanted to play my little game.

And just so there's some sort of content on this post - here's a random vomit-related movie quote. Guess what movie it's from, but no cheating:

In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out... But the worst thing I ever done - I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.

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Ron
April 6th, 2006 - 08:15

Come on…that was WAYYYYY to easy….The Goonies.

So what do I win?
JJ
April 6th, 2006 - 09:04

You win the honor of emailing me a vomit story so I can post it. Yay!

And of course, if you want some stickers, I’ll gladly send you some.
Ev
April 6th, 2006 - 09:33

CHUNK!
Belle
April 6th, 2006 - 10:03

Damn. I had no idea you were talking vomit over here, I just posted a vomit story on my blog, too. Is this Post-a-Vomit-Story this week?
Itchy
April 6th, 2006 - 10:40

Finally I know the answer to something and other people already knew it.
C Ro
April 6th, 2006 - 11:59

That is my very favorite part of Goonies…Did you know Astoria is a real place in Oregon and that place is only a couple of hours drive from Seattle? I’m so going there and geeking out big time.
JJ
April 6th, 2006 - 12:18

Ev:
Do the truffle shuffle!

Belle:
Excellent. And thanks for emailing me a puke story. It’s a doozy. (I can’t believe I just typed “doozy.” Ugh.)

Itchy:
I guess it was an easy one. I LOVE that movie.

C.Ro:
You should drive there in a convertible with the top down, with a cheerleader uniform on, with a dude on a girl’s bike holding on to the car as you speed down the road.
Diane
April 6th, 2006 - 13:46

What better vomit story in a movie is there? The one in Stand By Me runs a close second…
Joe the
April 6th, 2006 - 14:38

Well, the vomit scene in the uncut version of Team America: World Police is pretty lenghty…..
shirley
April 6th, 2006 - 15:08

JJ talked about eating goldfish. My non-hellbound friends tell me fish is eaten on Good Friday, the same day as JJ’s deadline. Coincidence? Or has The Churning found religion?
Belle
April 6th, 2006 - 21:26

Hey JJ, I never decline someone asking me to tell them a vomit story! I don’t know what’s better, vomit stories or fart stories.
turboslut
April 7th, 2006 - 04:35

I am going to have to think long and hard about this …….
Marc
April 7th, 2006 - 05:26

Chunk love Sloth.

Don’t forget about the vomit story in “Stand By Me” when the pie eating contest turns into a total puke-o-rama.
The Creep
April 7th, 2006 - 07:20

I’m fuckin starving now
*lynne*
April 7th, 2006 - 08:26

I sheepishly admit I never watched the goonies until maybe two months ago – and while the quote was *vaguely* familiar, I wouldn’t have put two and two together for that one :p

someone mentioned the puke scene @ team America : omg yeah, it was hilarious for a few seconds. then it went on. and on. and on. and on… :p

a movie puke scene that has scarred me for life: Jack Nicholson puking cherry pits in The Witches of Eastwick. Ugh. I was too young for that. I was so totally disgusted. Bleh. :p
JJ
April 10th, 2006 - 09:45

Diane:
Yeah! I love that scene!

Joe the:
That entire movie is completely insane. I really need to watch it again.

Shirley:
The day The Churning finds religion… will be day one of the apocalypse.

Belle:
Yes! Two of my faviorite topics…

Turboslut:
You have till Friday

Marc:
Goonies is probably one of my top ten favorite movies of all time. R.I.P. John Matuszak

Creep:
I checked out your site. You’re pretty demented. I love it!

*Lynne*:
Yes! I remember seeing the cherry pit puke scene when I was just a little fella. It was completely disturbing.
CC Rider
April 10th, 2006 - 12:07

Their time! Up there! Down here, it’s our time. It’s our time down here. Goonies Rule!
Randi
April 10th, 2006 - 17:24

Damn I felt all special knowing it was the interrogation scene and a grip of fools just made me feel “special” as in I ride the short bus to work.