Scotch is the nectar of the gods. Drink it slow at room temperature with no ice and chase every other sip with a mouthful of flavorful lager or ale. Genius.

But if you start guzzling the stuff, you’re in trouble. I can tell you from experience. You just might end up in a New Orleans dive bar with a tab of acid floating in your beer and your nuts hanging out of your shorts, begging strangers to take a peek.

Don’t just take my word for it. The English Guy has a similar Puke Week warning.

I’d had a row with my gf, she was going out on an all girls night, and told me I was not welcome. I decided to go out with one of my best friends, and we went on a bender.

Needless to say we saw my gf all night and I ignored her, no matter what. Yes, very stupid of me, but I was young… After a few hours at the Uni bar, downing several beers, we went to a club, and proceeded to drink an entire bottle of scotch each. On the way home we danced in the University tulip bed, ruining it all.

The next morning I awoke to a strange smell in my room. I got up, went down for breakfast. I wondered why everyone was staring at me. They asked if I was doing some kind of practical joke. Why? said I. They told me to go upstairs and look in the bathroom mirror.

So there I am, naked except for skivvies, staring at myself in the bathroom mirror. Vomit caked in my hair and I look like some kind of punk rocker. The tulips mixed in with the vomit and hair make it look something surreal. The vomit all over my bed, pillow, and duvet however, was not surreal…

I didn’t drink scotch again for several years.