Anal Warts the Size of Chicken Nuggets

Ev: You're the king of anuses
JJ: you're the prince of gaynesses
Ev: You're one lb of asshair.
JJ: you're half a pound of colostomy bag feces
Ev: you're 10lbs of jizz in a 2lb condom.
JJ: you're half a liter of stomach bile in a dirty beer mug
Ev: you're three removed testicles short of manhood
JJ: your ass smells of old coffee grounds and pennies
Ev: you eat the dongs of 1,000 camels
JJ: you jerk off your neighbor's dog and drink the semen for breakfast
Ev: You use ass nuggets as spreadable topping on your breads baked from urine dough.
JJ: you chew dingleberries like they are wrigley's spearmint
Ev: You have sex with the rotting maggot infested innards of a dead cow.
JJ: you suck the farts out of a dead boar's ass
Ev: You drank your own urine and ate your own fecal matter for 2 straight years.
JJ: you re-ingest vomit after you upchuck because you don't want to waste good food
Ev: You drive twenty miles out of town to have sex with 35 gay men. They run the train on you.
JJ: you saw "the accused" and secretly wished you were jodie foster's character
Ev: You called up Michael Jackson and asked him if he knew of any good little boys for you to molest.
JJ: you and mcauley culkin are best friends
Ev: You and Colin Farrell like to have ghey buttsecks after shit contests
JJ: you listen to kid rock - and you like it
Ev: You watch reruns of "The Simple Life" and worship Paris Hilton as the smartest person in the world.
JJ: you joined a fraternity even though you're not in college because you wanted to get paddled on your bare ass and have circle jerks
Ev: You raped a bum because you thought it would be fun, only to find out you now have herpes and crabs.
JJ: you're jealous that i have herpes and crabs because you've never had sex and you can only imagine what std's feel like
Ev: Your nickname in the locker room in highschool was "Reach-Around JJ" and also "Limp-dick"
JJ: you get a hard-on every time you watch re-runs of columbo because you think columbo is hot as fuck
Ev: You secretly crave Ryan Seacrest's man meat
JJ: you openly crave ryan seacrest's man meat
Ev: lame. you copycat.
JJ: you left it open for me
Ev: You had sex with Regis Philbin and it was the ultimate sexual experience for you.
JJ: you spent all your money on edible panties. you wear them every day then eat them for dinner
Ev: You blew Jabba the Hutt. And swallowed.
JJ: you shaved your back hair and superglued it to your chin
Ev: You ate your pubes with some fava beans and a nice chianti
JJ: you drank multiple miggs' jizz - then he said "i can smell your cunt"
Ev: You let Dr. Chilton feel your balls and then he said "ugh gross, uh nevermind."
JJ: you tucked your cock and balls between your legs and showed jamie gumb. he laughed at you.
Ev: You and Clarice Starling had a trist, she was VERY unsatisfied.
JJ: you begged a hooker to stomp on your balls for money and she said she didn't want to get nut slime on her shoes. you cried yourself to sleep that night.
Ev: You gave your own mother herpes of the genitals.
JJ: you have anal warts the size of chicken nuggets
Ev: Your testosterone levels are so low, that you are clinically a woman.
JJ: you were a hermaphrodite. you chose to keep your vagina but live as a man
Ev: On your trip to Thailand you were raped by pirates. You thoroughly enjoyed the experience and wrote a terrible, sappy love story screen play revolving around your love for "Bean Dick, The Pirate".
JJ: you collect your sweat in mason jars all summer, storing them in your basement until winter when you drink them all at once in a ceremony you call, "loving myself."
Ev: Once you ate an entire elephant cock.............raw.
JJ: you drive a cavalier
Ev: you live in a ghey apartment.
JJ: you're retarded, but you've managed to fake your way through life by imitating clint eastwood
Ev: You are the long lost cousin of Sloth.
JJ: you comb your hair every night before bed because you want to look handsome in your man-sex dreams
Ev: You were once abducted by aliens, but they were so repulsed by your anal cavity that they commited suicide.
JJ: you masturbate to the movie "cocoon."
Ev: You once inserted a hardboiled egg into your rectum, shat it, and then ate it.
JJ: you tried to have sex with your little puppy dog but her vaginal cavity was way too big for your needle dick
Ev: Post this.
Ev: The entire thing.