Email Spam: How Far does the Rabbit Hole Go?

3May/0626

Email Spam: How Far does the Rabbit Hole Go?

I've been getting some really strange email spam lately. These new emails don't contain the typical product descriptions and hyperlinks surrounded by surreal word combinations written with awful grammar. Instead, it's just a picture. That's it. One jpg.

And the strangest thing is there's no link and no contact info. If these idiots somehow managed to reach someone with actual interest in the product, there's no possible way for them to get a sale out of it. I realize the message was sent via email and yes you could try to reply. But who would waste their time? And would the email address even work?

Now on to the message... I'm going to paste it here just as it looked in my inbox, but I'm hiding it after the jump because it's sorta NSFW. It's tame, but you probably wouldn't want your boss to walk up behind you while you had it up on your screen.

From: Reginald (walter@griffield.biz)
Date: May 2, 2006 7:39 AM
Subject: V1agra 10 P1lls 100 mg $69.95

So let's break this down a little. It's a picture of a couple apparently having sex. I say "apparently" because he may just be moving in to give her the Heimlich. Maybe she's choking on a meatball or something.

The other thing I noticed about the picture is the actual position they're in. Sure, you might assume it's classic rear entry, but I'm not 100% sure he's not sticking in her pooper.

And the text is so fucking funny: "Viagra. Take the blue pill... And I show you how far the rabbit hole goes..." What's the metaphor here? Rabbit hole = vagina or rabbit hole = bunghole? Either way, it seems like the implication is that the woman in the picture is begging the reader to take Viagra and if you do, she'll let you bone her.

If that's the case, this lady's a total slut. All you have to do is take a boner pill and she'll spread 'em for you. But it's only implied that the lady is the one making the statement. What if it's actually a request from Reginald the spammer? Does this guy want to have sex with me?

As you can see I've got a lot of questions. but the truth is, I don't care to find out the answers. So here's my response:

Reginald,

Thank you for your email. I'm flattered that you think of me that way. But I'm married. And I'm not gay. And I don't need Viagra to get a hard-on. And I don't care how far your rabbit hole goes. In fact, I have no interest in your rabbit hole whatsoever. And that pic was weak. Next time don't crop out the nips.

Leave me alone,
JJ

P.S. You suck as a salesman.

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Comments (26) Trackbacks (0) ( subscribe to comments on this post )

Jimbo
May 3rd, 2006 - 10:27

Hmm… See this pic to me seems kind of bland. It looks like really boring sex because it appears the man is actually reading a pamphlet of some sort off of her back. She doesn’t seem too interested at all but actually taking a nap. Oh well, to each their own. I know if I had a boner that might last for four hours I would be making that chick cry and possibly throwing in a donkey punch or two.
Ev
May 3rd, 2006 - 10:28

I say take the blue pill and fuck anything that moves. Let’s do this.
Diane
May 3rd, 2006 - 11:01

LMAO JJ Blue isn’t the right color- it makes me think of blue balls. What if you take it and then your chick won’t give it up? LOL
Marc
May 3rd, 2006 - 11:04

How far does the rabbit hole go? I heard it doesn’t matter if you touch the bottom, so long as you scrape the sides.
LC
May 3rd, 2006 - 11:07

It looks to me like he’s not real sure where the “rabbit hole” is.. He seems to be searchin for something..
TC
May 3rd, 2006 - 11:13

Is this something to do with ‘Alice Through the Looking Glass’?

He’s late, he’s late, for a very important date?

…or is this just a parallel universe where these spam wackos hole up in basements and inflict this mind-boggling drivel on the general population?

…or maybe he actually does want to show you his rabbit hole, JJ.

Better leave the country, man.
Marc
May 3rd, 2006 - 11:14

Something? You think he dropped his keys, LC? They may be lost in the rabbit hole.
juicya
May 3rd, 2006 - 11:18

is it just me– or is that chick deformed? look at how her body goes from tits to ass in that weird curve. Poor deformed girl. I bet thats why her rabbit hole goes go far.
cinders
May 3rd, 2006 - 11:30

haha, jj said she’s maybe choking on a meatball

heh, meat
MacBros
May 3rd, 2006 - 12:51

To hell with the pill. I would just settle for the Rabbit Hole! Mmmmm, nice furry rabbit….. Hmmmmm…mmmmmm…..mmmmmm… fuuuuurrrryyy

BTW: There’s an XP Eploit that JPG files can carry viruses. In Win EX only though. From what Ive heard.
JJ
May 3rd, 2006 - 13:43

Jimbo:
They’re definitely bored. Maybe he takes Viagra all the time and sex has become monotonous. They really do need to throw a donkey punch in there to spice things up… or a rusty trombone… or a dirty sanchez… or a spiderman…

Ev:
Dennis Hopper – Blue Velvet.

Diane:
Hmmm… that gets me thinking. Does Viagra backfire? I mean, out there in the real world, are there old guys laying in bed with rock hard erections because their wife wasn’t in the mood but they had already popped the pill?

Marc:
It’s all about girth, not length?

LC:
Marc’s right. It’s gotta be his keys… or maybe he dropped his little blue pills.

TC:
Yeah! Perhaps he’s late for a very important date. “Viagra – When you don’t have time for foreplay.”

JuicyA:
She’s the long lost cousin of Sloth.

Cinders:
heh heh hehheh

MacBros:
Good point about the virus thing. The image was in the email body as an img src, not as an attachment. I wonder if they could still deliver viruses that way…
trouble
May 3rd, 2006 - 14:28

the ones that have me pondering are the ones with this in the subject line:

“Exquisite babes deliver aesthetic sucking.”

It raises so many questions in my perverse little head. Not because I’m into porn, but the whole “aesthetic sucking” thing. As a good girlfriend, I can’t help but wonder if I could be more aesthetically pleasing.
mojotek
May 3rd, 2006 - 15:21

Hahaha! I would love to just get funny pictures like that in spam, with no links or crappy sales slogans written in M3553d Up L4N9u493…

If you’re gonna go that far, why the hell did he half to crop out the nips? Oh, and my vote’s for the bunghole!
Riss
May 3rd, 2006 - 17:28

It looks like smurf porn.

Why don’t I get interesting spam like this? All I get is Abu Jihad Mamoud in Nigeria wanting my help getting his 473 jillion dollars into the country. In exchange he’ll give me free ink cartridges and re-finance my mortgage.
mulk
May 3rd, 2006 - 20:25

I remember one day I found out how far the rabbit hole went…ugh.

Hooray new spamming methods used to bypass the anti spam filters
shirley
May 3rd, 2006 - 23:35

Sooo, where’s the rabbit? I’m fucking horny after all that!
wally
May 4th, 2006 - 01:02

I wouldnt mind humping that Bunny!:)
JJ
May 4th, 2006 - 22:47

Trouble:
Aesthetic sucking? Damn. I thought the whole point of sucking was the way it feels, not the way it looks.

Mojotek:
Yeah, did you check out the subject line? “V1agra 10 P1lls.” So fucking ridiculous. Sneaky spamming douchebags.

Riss:
Oh yeah, I get those too. Who falls for that shit? “Honey, look at this awesome email I just got! I’m gonna be rich!”

Mulk:
Oooooohh… that sounds like a problem. I hope it didn’t go too deep.

Shirley:
You’re into rabbit porn? Hot!

Wally:
Really? She seems a little off to me. Like maybe she used to be a dude or something.
shirley
May 5th, 2006 - 00:02

Totally! Remember those cartoons where Bugs Bunny dressed up as a girl? Hott!
BrownSugar
May 18th, 2006 - 17:11

I just googled “And I show you how far the rabbit hole goes” and came across this site. I have been wondering for two days (since I got this spam) what the heck the “rabbit hole” is???? Do I have some new “hole” that I am unaware of? If so I would love to find it and use that one too!

The email did have a link in the picture (http://ddwaon.drivebest.com/usd/?pid=1430&dis=&cart=) I just emailed them this:

“I just got an email directing me to your site. In this email there is a picture with the text “Viagra, take the blue pill…And I’ll show you how far my rabbit hole goes”. I am wondering…What is a “rabbit hole”?”

I will keep you all posted if I get a reply….not likely.

B.S.
JJ
May 26th, 2006 - 22:17

Oooh. I’ve gotta know. Please give us an update if you hear back.
tansaku
May 27th, 2006 - 04:08

I’m surprised that the meaning of the text isn’t obvious. Surely you’ve all seen the Matrix? It’s what Morpheus says to Neo when he’s offering him the blue and red pills. Except in the Matrix, it’s the red pill that takes you further down the rabbit hole.

Personally I’d like to see the whole picture without the white bits faded out
JJ
May 27th, 2006 - 09:12

I’m 100% sure the advertiser isn’t saying that Viagra will take you into the Matrix. It’s surely a double entendre of some sort.

Plus, the Matrix referenced Alice in Wonderland with that line, so it’s more likely a reference to the classic children’s story, with a horribly dirty connotation.

I still say they’re talking about the poop chute.
Keilaron
June 26th, 2007 - 18:56

In reply to MacBros – that was patched a long while ago; Was a bug in the way the DLL displayed JPGs; certain programs that used the same DLL, e.g. IE, Office, possibly Paint and the previwer, were affected.
Virgie
March 10th, 2010 - 19:41

Anf this is the reaspn I love wwwthechurning.com. Stfunning posts.
Myra
March 11th, 2010 - 07:25

Great tuf http://www.thechurning.com is the shit.