Smells Like Cheerios and Armpits
May 17th, 2006 by JJ
It happened a couple of weeks ago as Momo and I were falling asleep in bed. I was just starting to doze off when Momo whispered…
Momo: “Do you smell that?”
Me: “No.”
Momo: “You sure?”
Me: “Yes.”
Momo: “It kinda stinks.”
Me: “It wasn’t me.”
Momo: “Fuck I hope not. It smells like Cheerios and armpits.”
Me: “Go to sleep.”
Momo: “I can’t. It really stinks.”
I figured it was time to give up on trying to fall asleep, but I honestly didn’t smell a thing. I knew I had to investigate, so I started sniffing - the air, my armpits, the pillows, the sheets. It was pitch black, so I sort of had to feel my way around as I sniffed. Then just as I lifted my pillow to sniff underneath, it hit me like a wave of filth.
The smell was unbearable - wafting from under the pillow. I have no idea why I couldn’t smell it at first. I jumped out of bed and turned on the light.
Me: “Holy shit that stinks!”
Momo: “I told you!”
Me: “What the fuck?!?”
Momo: “I think it’s piss.”
Me: “Is that even possible?”
Momo: “JD was alone in here earlier. He hadn’t been out for a while.”
Me: “The fucking dog pissed under my pillow?!?”
Obviously the little fella had to go. And I guess he couldn’t get our attention. He’s normally very well behaved. I assume he just couldn’t help it. Plus it was all dried up like it had happened hours earlier.
Of course we had to change the sheets, clean the bed and start the laundry. We stayed up so late dealing with it that we were exhausted the next day at work.
I’m thinking he chose my side of the bed to make some kind of point. Like he was trying to get revenge on me for something. “That’s what these fuckers get for giving me a bath!” That was the first time he fucked up in months and he hasn’t made any mistakes since - so I don’t hate him or anything. I just wish the little bastard could talk so he could tell me when he’s upset instead of acting like an asshole.
RSS
I once had a cat that crapped in my shoes.
Not pleasant when you put them on…
LMAO JJ For the past few days I’ve been out in the front yard working on a project from hell and I bought a 20 ft. dog lead so I could take Kali out with me, cause if I don’t she’ll bark and cry and John’s been on nights so is sleeping days and I can’t have her waking him up. Yesterday he was off and we went around town doing some errands and by the time we got back I didn’t feel like going out there. Well it seems to have pissed the dog off because she wouldn’t come to me all night long until John ordered her to. Try apologizing. HA HA
LOL, I can picture the scene. Then again dog piss is better than cat piss right?
or not, as the case may be
hopefully you at least have a w/d in your apartment building.
i don’t know why this is so fucking funny to me though.
My sister’s dog peed on our Mom’s foot one time. He just walked right over and lifted his leg. We secretly LOVE that story.
TC:
It’s like a secret little surprise!
Diane:
Fuck that. HE should apologize! I’ll say “I’m sorry” if he says it first.
Mandy:
I suppose you’re right. Cat piss is super nasty - like turpentine mixed with ammonia.
Sarah:
We do. So it wasn’t a whole lot of trouble cleaning up.
Itchy:
That’s definitely a sign of frustration and anger. Wonder what your Mom did to deserve that….
I say piss on him back. Show him whos boss.
Do you feed the dog Cheerios?
ha ha! You just KNOW that JD has been planning this revenge tactic….revenge for posting the video of him walking all goofy in his boots.
He waited o-so-patiently for just the right time……
time to grill him up, use the tabasco sauce and put some buns in the oven
That’s what you get when you don’t take your dog out!
You deserved it!
I lived w/ a family that had weiner dog dacshunds (however you spell that…) and one of them pissed on my bed and covered it w/ the comforter. Little bitch.
I had a dog that pissed so much in my bed that it puddled up on the comforter. Imagine my joy when I rolled right into it. My back was sopping wet with dog piss. But yes, it’s definitely better than cat piss.
My cat wigged after the separation and for some reason, started pissing on the futon in our office. It took me a week to figure out where the smell was coming from, I had to finally creep around the room trying to sniff it out, and finally found it, deep in the futon’s crevices. Gah-ross. I bet i used 13 bottles of bleach trying to get rid of that smell.
And you couldn’t pay me to sleep on it. I don’t know what I’ll do if I have guests someday. I need to sell the damn thing to some poor college student and buy something else.
“Separation” = when the ex husband finally moved out of the house (we did our separation inside the house, happy happy joy joy). She hated him, so I have no idea why she did that.
I agree with everyone that cat piss is definitely worse. Dog piss is the perfume du jour at our house!!
And, yeah. Take him out when he has to go.
See, JJ, if you only had a web cam on your pup, you’d've picked up on his little surprise. Without the webcam proof, you can’t even be that when JD was done peeing if he sat down on the bed and dragged his butt all over your sheets too! “That’ll fix you, dogs’-best-friend”, says JD.
I can talk, and I still do that to J when I’m pissed. Heh.
I have a friend whose cat pees on my luggage and its contents every time i come to visit. i have to hide my luggage. the cat only does this to me.
I have a maltease that more or less got thrown at me when I was in Korea. He hates baths, but loves to be clean, and as he runs around in the woods all the time he needs them often.
I got done bathing him one day, and he starts running around doing his little dance, and then the bastard runs over to my sweatshirt on the ground and starts pissing on it while staring at me.
I don’t think he’s ever pissed on my bed…
Oh gross! Did it get into the mattress?
Jimbo:
I’d try that, but it might make even more of a mess.
Marc:
No… but I’ve always thought that piss sort of has a hint of Honey Nut Cheerio scent to it.
Joe:
No way, dude. He’s an attention whore just like me. He probably loved having that video of him online:
http://www.thechurning.com/2006/02/14/my-dog-wears-shoes/
Mulk:
There’s not much meat on him. Just enough for one meal.
RockyJay:
I know… my fault…
Randi:
Damn, that’s sneaky!
Mojotek:
True. Cat piss is liquid evil.
Trouble:
I can see the classified ad now… “Futon for sale. Smells of urine. Good luck getting it out.”
Martha:
Yeah. When you gotta go, you gotta go.
Joe:
That’s just wrong.
Shirley:
I thought you did that because he was into golden showers…
Soviet:
Obviously that cat hates you.
Cecil:
That’s pure defiance. “In your face!”
Eddie:
Luckily, no. It’s totally unnoticable.