My favorite scene from Team America World Police (text lifted from The South Park Scriptorium):

Well, uh being a dick ain’t so bad. See, there are three kinds of people: dicks, pussies and assholes. Pussies think everyone can get along and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinkin’ it through. But then you got your assholes, Chuck. And all the assholes want is to shit all over everything. So pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while because… pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes, Chuck! And if they didn’t fuck the assholes, you know what you’d get?? You’d get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!!!

And then later in the movie:

We’re dicks! We’re reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks! And the Film Actors’ Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong Il is an asshole. Pussies don’t like dicks because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes who just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way, but the only thing that can fuck an asshole is a dick… with some balls. The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much, or fuck when it isn’t apporoporate… and it takes a pussy to show ‘em that. But sometimes pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are only an inch and a half away from assholes. I don’t know much in this crazy, crazy world, but I do know that if you don’t let us fuck this asshole, we are gonna have our dicks and our pussies all covered in shit!