I Hope I Haven’t Ruined a Friendship

30May/0619

I Hope I Haven’t Ruined a Friendship

As many of you are aware, I've been in a band for the past year. We've played several shows and recorded a few songs. But now it's over. I quit the band.

Update 11am:Â I thought that writing about it here would help me express my feelings, but I'm afraid that wasn't such a great idea.Â This website is one-sided.Â This situation affects several people and it was unfair of me to discuss it here.

I'm sorry.

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Ron
May 30th, 2006 - 05:57

Hey bud, it sucks when stuff like this happens. I hope you all get through it intact as friends. Good luck!
Lyndon
May 30th, 2006 - 07:19

I think you should have voiced your opinion first, because they might have agreed to the change in direction of music.

But if they’re your friends, they might be upset at first, but eventually they’ll forgive you.

Goodluck with the new band!

Pavement rocked, I so miss that band.
MacBros
May 30th, 2006 - 08:18

I was in the exact same position, but my leaving ended up turning into a good thing. I was playing with a bunch of guys that were just content on playing in the garage every weekend. After a couple of year of that and getting really good, I wanted to get out of the garage. They didn’t, I left, and answered an ad in the paper from a band looking for a keyboard player, and I just happen to play keyboards, along with guitar, bass, and percussion/drums.
I ended up playing 4 years in that band full time, playing in clubs as far as Fat Tuesdays in Maine (USA) to Hard Rock Cafe in Toronto. We were always booked for shit, we had bookings that were a year in advance.

After we split, not due to choice, but life things happend, and I’d prefer not going into that. But after we all split, some of us kept playing in other bands, cutting an album, and I went on to writing and selling music.. I ended up with a couple of pretty damn good deals, with OCEAN Software, Making Cyber music for the club in town, wrote a couple of rock n’ roll tunes that I’ve signed all rights over and cannot say what they are…
but it’s all good. I had a good time.

But now I’m stuck in this dead end job and cant get anything as far as work goes doing shit I like. LOL

Life did a complete 360.
I’ll get back into writing again sometime, as soon as I can get out of this rut.

So anyway JJ. Who knows, this may be the beginning to something good.
TC
May 30th, 2006 - 09:09

One thing’s for sure: if you’re not quite sure about what you’re doing, you have to change horses whilst there’s time and just go for it! For f***s sake don’t look back twenty years later and say “I wish I’d been an Elvis impersonator”.

Hope it works out for you, JJ. If those guys are real friends, they’ll come round.
Ev
May 30th, 2006 - 10:17

Jesus Christ, JJ. Stop being a pussy. Man up. If they can’t act like adults about it and get the fuck over it, then fuck them.
JJ
May 30th, 2006 - 11:10

I’ve edited this post. I’m not going to get into details. I did not handle the situation fairly. I should’ve been open and honest with my bandmates. I fucked up and I hurt people I care about. I’m not going to make any excuses. I feel sick with guilt and I deserve it.
Marc
May 30th, 2006 - 11:16

I read the details earlier. I’m with Ev.
Besides, you are a self-proclaimed asshole, dick, etc. They should have seen it coming.
Oh bla de, Oh bla da, life goes on.
I’ll get LC to chime in.
LC
May 30th, 2006 - 11:20

Man.. you brought me DOWN. I read ‘thechurning’ to get a laugh.. a chuckle.. not to read about your depressing personal shit!!!

I’m kidding. Guilt blows. Apologize.. then do what makes yourself happy. Either that or turn this website over to Jimmy.. and go work for Dr. Phil.
sarah
May 30th, 2006 - 11:45

i’m not used to this deep shit from you jj.

hopefully it will work out. you’re all adults now and not still in high school (i hope you’re not in a high school garage band). now is the time when friends can work shit out and not just go gossip in the girls’ room about what a jerk you are and tp your house.

own up to being an ass, tell ‘em you still want to be friends and that you hope they still want to be friends with you.

i’ve been in similar positions and it sucks donkey balls.
Ev
May 30th, 2006 - 12:44

Dude..this post has officially grown a vagina.
TC
May 30th, 2006 - 12:50

Ev, that’s naughty!

But funny!
mulk
May 30th, 2006 - 13:15

Yeorgh?
Marc
May 30th, 2006 - 16:23

Ev, let’s me for tea and talk about our feelings. Blech!
Marc
May 30th, 2006 - 16:24

Ev, let’s meet for tea and talk about our feelings. Blech!
Diane
May 30th, 2006 - 19:56

Have a couple of Red Horse’s JJ and you’ll feel better. Seriously though, it takes a “big” man to admit when he’s made a mistake and I admire you for admitting it and apologizing.
shirley
May 30th, 2006 - 22:39

*hug*
shirley
May 30th, 2006 - 22:40

And before Ev calls me a pussy, let me just point out that I am, in fact, a girl. No wait, a woman. Right.
justdawn
May 31st, 2006 - 01:11

Sorry, I have a vagina and so am inclined to say something nice…heh;)

Seriously, let go of your guilt…it’s not going to do you any good. You can (almost) never go wrong by following your gut instinct, so be at peace with your decision and look forward to the next chapter, dude…
jessica
May 31st, 2006 - 02:08

i want to know what ev has against gineys…

anyhoo, jj, i have learned this lesson before… while it takes an asshole to vent onesided about his/her life on their blog (been there, got the tshirt) it takes a much bigger, braver one to own up to their actions and apologize. i hope it all works out for you. but still have to say LC’s comment about dr.phil may have made me pee a little.