The Churning
16Aug/0623

I Want to Have my Uvula Removed

uvula

I want to pay a doctor to open my mouth and slice out my uvula with a scalpel.  It's not that I have a snoring problem or uvulitis or anything.  I just think the uvula is fucking weird.  Who wants a tiny ballsack-looking skin flap in the back of their mouth all the time?  It's just silly. 

And if I don't get it removed, maybe I'll get it pierced.

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  1. this needed to come with a gag warning. easily the grossest thing i’ve ever read here. this gave me what my friend lovingly refers to as the “piss wiggle”, you know- that inner shudder/shiver thing.

  2. get it pierced… it could be kinky

  3. Jessica:
    Piss wiggle: also known as “the douche chills.”

    JuicyA:
    I wouldn’t be the first. Sexxxy!

  4. no matter what you choose…im sure pain will follow.

  5. dude. wtf is wrong w/ people? piercing their uvulas. GET A FUCKING HOBBY. jesuschrist.

  6. For some reason, at some level, this article just seems wrong… but I am curios and would love to see the fotos afterwards!

  7. You can get it pierced. Okay, I mean I know you techinically can. But without negative ramifications?

  8. So, I’m thinkin’……what happens if you have the uvula piercing, and while eating spaghetti, the strands of pasta get all wrapped up around the piercing, and are just hanging down your throat. That would suck…..

  9. Just imagine how good it will feel to your boyfriend, JJ. And if you don’t have a boyfriend, that eliminates the only reason i can think of to EVER have that piece of flesh pierced.

  10. Don’t you think that would be setting off your gag reflex all the time and you be walking around vomitting all the time?

    At least we’d have some new puke stories. Granted, they’d all start with, “so this one time I swallowed…”

  11. Cinders…that’s how a lot of my puke stories already start. (running to hide now…)

  12. ah yes–the body mod haters. love it when they come out. what’s better is when they flame me on my own blog.

  13. Why? There must be a physiological purpose for it.

  14. or teach it to throw its voice..

  15. You don’t like ballsacks in the back of your mouth? I thought that was the whole basis of your friendship with Evan.

  16. i’m sure god had a reason for our uvulas. much like our tailbones… hmm, okay, maybe he didn’t.

  17. I just had mine removed to cure Sleep Apnea. It’s there to make you puke when something too large goes down. It also covers the nasal passage too keep stuff out of your nose when swallowing.

    It’s taking alot of getting used to eating and drinking without it but I sleep like a baby now. I have to sip or eat small chunks. Beer comes out of my nose when I chug it.

  18. Cutoff:
    Holy shit. Did you at least get to keep it? Like in a jar or something?

  19. I wish I would of thought of that before.

  20. DONT!! believe it or not the “hangy down thing” is absolutly necessary for speech.

  21. It’ll behoove ya – to care for your uvula.


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