The Churning is Under Attack

askimet

Comment spammers are silly fucks.  For some reason, they’ve set their spambots to attack The Churning, even though Askimet cockblocks them every time.  Usually, we get a dozen or so spam comments each week, but over the past three days we’ve snubbed more than a thousand dummy comments.

Being under attack sucks, but there’s one positive spin to this story.  Before this recent shitstorm, the spam around here had been deadly-dull.  “Discount valium”, “bargain viagra”, “penis enlargement pills”…  I was beginning to think spammers had no imagination.  At least this time I was entertained.  Check out a few snippets from recent spam comments.  These are actual excerpts:

first sex anal loli avi her video starr socal boys prostitute woman after symptoms pregnant free toon strips guy man my teacher-mrs mcqueen teacher and mrs filmore

in paris ms storm virgin video my lesson our girls decribe hayes teen tinkerbell illustrated stories

late period after first sexual experience vogue tutor video cannon trailer teacher sample movies sexual movie

stories of expierance gay time first sexual contacts

incest stories of expierance stock teacher eporn

bleed lesbains mrs carmen hayes mrs sanders video clemens my galleries

Sexxxy!  Thank you for piquing my interest, spammers.  Now go home, insert a catheter into your tiny cock, and pour Drano into the tube.

10 Responses to “The Churning is Under Attack”

  1. on 28 Aug 2006 Diane

    LMAO JJ I was just thinking about the same type of post today but decided against it. I normally get over 100 spam hits a day on “Stuff” and although I do get my share of porn type spam for the most part mine is drugs. GO FIGURE.

  2. on 28 Aug 2006 MacBros

    I get beast smutt and animal sex posts, along with the pecker enlargments and other strange sex stuff.

    I have been getting pounded by these shit heads too. I’ve resorted to Extreme IP blocking. Check out my 403 page I’ve so kindly made up for them. Just added the counter today, but in the past 4 days there have been over 1,000 page loads on it.

    I’ve got a nice big .htaccess file full of Banned IP’s so far.

    I’m going to post it as soon as I get a lot more.

  3. on 28 Aug 2006 shirley

    mmm churning sexx pot hot good anal lube blow smoke out butt yummmm!

    (and if this comment doesn’t get stopped, I think I’ve cracked the spam blocker!)

  4. on 29 Aug 2006 Omnipotent Poobah

    You forgot one thing in your instructions:

    Now go home, insert a catheter into your tiny cock, and pour Drano into the tube. DO NOT RINSE AND REPEAT AS LONG AS YOU HAVE THE URGE TO SPAM!

    Shitheels.

  5. on 30 Aug 2006 Kristyn

    I have a love/hate relationship with Askimet. The program does catch a lot of spam, but it also sends good comments to spam. It simply doesn’t learn. If I tell it a comment is not spam, it should never send comments by that commenter to spam.

    Kristyn

    PS. Love the mental image envoked by the whole Drano thing. :P

  6. on 30 Aug 2006 mojotek

    As I’m writing this, Akismet has blocked 5,300 spam comments from my blog. That’s ridiculous. I wonder how I even got on spammers radar.

  7. on 30 Aug 2006 JJ

    Diane:
    Funny you mention that. After that wave of thousands of sex spam comments, it switched over completely to drugs as of today.

    MacBros:
    Banning IPs? Don’t these fuckers camouflage their IPs?

    Shirley:
    Looks like you cracked it. Maybe you have a future career in spamming!

    Poobah:
    So cruel… I love it!

    Kristyn:
    Yeah, I sift through all the blocked comments to make sure nothing good gets blocked. It’s kind of a pain in the ass.

    Mojotek:
    Damn. You’re in the crosshairs dude.

  8. on 30 Aug 2006 MacBros

    JJ, camouflage their IPs?
    Not from me.

    It’s extreme, but it’s effective.
    I also let real people have the ability to get unblocked in case they happen to be in the IP netrange I’m blocking.

    If you happen to run your own server, you’ll notice the SQL resources wasted on these spamm bastards. A simple 2K page is a bit better for them to see.

  9. on 30 Aug 2006 JJ

    You really are a genius. Excellent work, dude.

  10. on 30 Aug 2006 shirley

    I just blew it, and it let me right in!

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