Unacceptable Topics for Dinner Conversation

8Sep/0623

Unacceptable Topics for Dinner Conversation

Last night, I went to a friend's house to hang out. He and his girlfriend were just sitting down to dinner when I showed up. I sat at the table with them and had a couple of beers as they ate. Then over the next hour or so, I brought up several insanely inappropriate conversation topics. I'd like to think they were entertained. Or perhaps I'll never be invited to dinner again.

Here are some of the topics I brought up:

Is "cunt" the dirtiest word?
Do you suppose there are people who have a fetish for open sores?
What would open sores porn look like? I think it would it have close up pictures of women with oozing genital warts, masturbating as they rubbed their scabs.
Do you prefer Psilocybin or Mescaline?
Oil and vinegar salad dressing is kind of like trying to mix Vaseline and Astroglide.
Do you think felching is worse than a Cleveland steamer?
Sure, I'd be glad to tell you what "felching" means.
All that stuff is fine - but sucking someone's toes? That's disgusting.

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MacBros
September 8th, 2006 - 09:09

LOL! You’re a nutbar JJ.
sarah
September 8th, 2006 - 09:43

shit. that’s the kinda stuff we ALWAYS talk about during dinner. and i’m serious.
mike
September 8th, 2006 - 10:46

So, what’s unacceptable about these topics?

Blogmad hit!
juicya
September 8th, 2006 - 10:50

Ive actually had four of those as dinner conversations too. [No-- not the one about open sore porn] I was shocked that some people dont know what felching is. Apparently, though, my discourse on the ‘c-bomb’ wasnt received too well.
Ev
September 8th, 2006 - 10:54

Eh, those aren’t so bad, JJ. My concern is when you do this, but you’re also so shitfaced that you’re half-naked wearing a box on yourhead….at dinner.

Not cool, bro.
JJ
September 8th, 2006 - 11:02

MacBros:
I’d say that’s pretty accurate. Drugs, booze and freaky sex just fascinate me.

Sarah:
Yeah, I can imagine. Escpecially considering the conversation we had when we hung out during Ev’s visit to Philly.

Mike:
Exactly!!

JuicyA:
Oh I MUST know. What’s your stance on the “c-bomb”?

Ev:
How did you know???
jessica
September 8th, 2006 - 12:14

felching is certainly worse than a cleveland steamer… or maybe i’m just partial to things named after cities in ohio.

and while i’m not sure if cunt is the dirtiest word, i heard one is the loneliest number but doesn’t make for good dinner conversation.
JJ
September 8th, 2006 - 12:24

Jessica:
You’re definitely right about felching. But I want to know what other words are in the running for dirtiest.

All:
I just remembered another topic we discussed and I think it’s an important one…

Why would a guy with a wife or girlfriend want to look at porn? Because even if you have a Picasso at home, you still might want to visit the art museum every once in a while.
Tracy
September 8th, 2006 - 13:57

Ewwwwwww…

#1. Definitely
#2. Eewwwwwww.
#3. Ewwwwwwww, Excuse me while I vomit!
#4. Never heard of either of those!
#5. LOL!
#6. What is felching?
#7. I really should read it all at one time, huh?
#8. Ewwwwwww. the toe thing is sooooooooooo gross.
Mr. Fabulous
September 8th, 2006 - 18:56

Oh great…now I’ve got a hard on…
Omnipotent Poobah
September 8th, 2006 - 20:57

So what’s so inappropriate? My daughter has brought these very topics up several times.
Robguy
September 8th, 2006 - 23:36

I think yeast infection is dirtier, but that’s 2 words.
If people have fetishes for open sores, I don’t want to meet them.
Actually I can’t imagine you bringing up an inappropriate topic of conversation WHEN we weren’t having dinner.
Patrick
September 9th, 2006 - 16:42

Easy Fab, after 4 hours you have to seek medical attention.
Kristyn
September 9th, 2006 - 18:37

Well hell, you’re invited to dinner any time.

Kristyn
jessica
September 9th, 2006 - 20:47

cincinnati bowtie, hands down… grossest thing i’ve ever heard. and no, i don’t know why gross sexual things are named after my beloved buckeye state.
Diane
September 10th, 2006 - 08:26

I don’t think there’s ever an inappropriate time for asking if one prefers Psilocybin or Mescaline? That could be an all night discussion.
shirley
September 10th, 2006 - 11:39

Mmm, I’m rubbing my open sores right now. I think meth geeks would the ones with a fetish for sores, right?
mojotek
September 10th, 2006 - 21:50

I think there’s definitely a niche market for scab porn. Plus, you’d only have to pay the actresses in crack. I think there’s quite a bit of profit to be made there.
Diane
September 11th, 2006 - 10:04

LMAO @ Mojotek
juicya
September 11th, 2006 - 12:30

dude: Im pro c-bomb! it rolls off the tongue with the greatest of ease. cuuuuunt!
Catherine Penfold-Waxman
September 11th, 2006 - 16:45

the filthiest word I ever heard was from a very delicate girl from Venezuela. She used it all the time. It’s Tamega, which is the leavings or debris on your penis after anal sex.
the soviet
September 11th, 2006 - 17:56

ha! i think open sores porn would pretty much be any google image search for STDs.
JJ
September 14th, 2006 - 13:21

Tracy:
“What is felching?”
That’s when a guy is having anal sex, ejaculates, then sucks the semen out of the asshole with his lips.

Mr. Fabulous:
Me too. Permanently.

Omnipotent Poobah:
Sounds like a fun family dinner.

Robguy:
Yeast infection is pretty dirty.

Patrick:
Damn. I’ve been in a perpetually aroused state for years.

Kristyn:
I can’t wait to see what’s on the menu!

jessica:
Yeah, that’s a good one. It reminds me of 40 Year Old Virgin. According to Urbandictionary.com:

Cincinatti Bowtie – When you reverse titty-fuck a girl. So your balls and cock are upside-down and it looks like she is wearing a fleshy bow-tie. It’s called “cincinnati” because they do everything backwards there.

Diane:
On either of those hallucinogens it would definitely be an all night discussion.

shirley:
Rubbing open sores feels nice sometimes. Especially if you rub salt on your hands first.

mojotek:
You want to be my business partner?

juicya:
I second that. It’s cuntrageous!!

Catherine:
Sounds delectible. Yummy!

the soviet:
Oh I’m so glad you mentioned that. I did a Google image search for “open sores”. Not pretty. In fact, some of the top results when searching for “sores” are cocks and cunts. (I was going to say “vaginas” there, but that word just doesn’t sound right when paired with “cocks”.)