Why I’m an aetheist OR 101 Facts about magic shows
Yes. It's true. I'm posting again. And it's gonna be a long one. So grab a snack, roll a j and let's do this.
Most of the time, I'm a nice guy. But, like everyone else, I have push button topics that set me off. Education is number one. Or the state of education in this country, rather. Apathy in politics is number two. And the third, and probably most important is ....Religion.
You see, I don't believe in anything. Not because nothing exists, but because I'm pragmatic. You see, I believe that religion existed at one time to guide civilization. And it served that purpose. It gave people dumber than Jessica Simpson and Homer Simpson combined a simple and clear direction on how to live life. Complete with "top 10 rules you should never, ever fucking break - GOD". Eat that, Letterman.
And so it went that religion was basically a way of using fear (all that wrath and hell fire gives me a nice rubbery one) to afford humanity an opportunity to survive each other and further the human race.
And honestly? That's something I can get into.
But the problem now, today, lies in the fact that Religion is a crutch. People pray for miracles and for the world to be fixed, instead of trying to fix things themselves and/or getting involved. This isn't the only problem with religion, I mean, there is all that magic, ghosts and D&D shit. Seriously? Water into wine, plagues of frogs, hail and urine? Where's the +99 Staff of Jesus? The Ascended Ark of Duplication? Fuck.
Another problem with religion today is the "My morals make me better than you" mentality that certain religious right members are strutting around the country.
Before I said that I'm pragmatic, but in my heart, I'm still an optimist. I keep hoping that something will happen on this planet to make us realize that the things we keep doing to each other are monstrous. That maybe if we really tried to cross boundaries, show how different we are from our ancestors, and really work together as a world race, life would be immensely better. And yet, I know that there cannot be any kind of God, because the irony is that we will never, and can never make that utopian society happen; because we are violent and somewhat evil by nature. That's why being bad feels so good.
Who's to say? Tom Cruise could be right, and there could be some Alien SuperGod out there. Right.....And tomorrow I could be crowned King of America, but I'm not polishing my scepter any time soon.
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September 17th, 2006 - 13:24
I couldn’t agree with you more. I’ve always been open to accepting that other people have different belief systems and whatever gets them through the night is cool. But the older I get, the angrier I become about all the horror perpetrated in the name of some deity or other. It’s just so fucked. Religious nuts just can’t keep it to themselves. They have to fuck with someone else’s happy. They spend so much time and effort on forcing their morality on others, nothing truly useful gets done.
Ev, feel free to polish your scepter. You won’t go to hell for it.
September 17th, 2006 - 15:48
Preach on, brother. Roger and I both agree.
September 17th, 2006 - 20:09
I grok.
September 17th, 2006 - 21:33
Are you going to be the God of Fuck?
Seriously, religion divides everyone and has been used to control decades of people. “Oh, you don’t want to rape and pillage that small town?, How does an eternity in hell sound?”
Yeah, I have a small problem with that.
Great post. You already knew that though.
September 17th, 2006 - 21:59
Religion:
The Crusades
The Holocaust
The Salem witch trials
The Killing Fields
The KKK
etc…
September 17th, 2006 - 23:18
my thunder has been stolen. i was going to do an anti-religion post tomorrow. thanks a lot, man.
seriously, i’m glad it got said!
September 18th, 2006 - 00:49
It’s quite amazing how much killing has been done in the name of God. And I completely agree with your post… well, almost. I think there’s still some type of higher… ‘somthing’ out there. What? I don’t know… I just feel a little better if I can believe that we humans aren’t the biggest and bestest thing in the universe.
But as far as religion being a crutch in our ‘advanced’ society, spot on. I really do believe religion was used as a method to help humans try and create frameworks to try and comprehend things that they had zero knowledge of.
Anywho, great post.
September 18th, 2006 - 08:58
Titty Kitty, Here’s the thing, It’s not just religion. I’m just tired of being told that I’m not: Patriotic/Religious/Sensitive/Politically Correct enough. Fuck that. I am what I am, the world can deal with it or taste my salty nut bag.
Kiev, I just want you and Roger to know that I support your union. Just don’t expect me to come to the wedding.
Diane, ‘Nuff Said.
Paddy Wagon, Alas, were I to be crowned Lord and Ruler of All that Exists, there would be a wave of cataclysmic destruction, followed by a euphoric haze and uncontrollable orgasms. How would I orchestrate this? Burning vast amounts of weed, rolled in porno mags.
Jaybird, Weren’t you involved in all of those? Shit, maybe it’s not religion that’s the problem. Maybe all of our troubles stem from JJ, himself. JJ is the Anti-Christ.
Leather Heather, The truth is I’ve been reading your diary. You’ll also want to check your panty drawer, I may or may not have stolen something.
Mojo at the Hojo, I hope that you, Tom and Katie-the-Hostage, live happily ever after. Just kidding. I am accepting of your belief system, to the extent that the law requires.
September 18th, 2006 - 13:11
I forgot a few:
The 1993 WTC bombing
The attack on the USS Cole
September 11
The London train bombings
India vs Pakistan (1947, 1965, 1971, 1999)
Israel vs the Palestinians (since the beginning of time)
etc…
September 18th, 2006 - 13:40
I think this post was flawless except for the commentary on “that’s why being bad feels so good” because that has to more do with how your brain is wired.
cheers and thank you.
September 18th, 2006 - 14:12
The older I get, the more creepy I find hyper-religious types. There’s just something secretly batshit about them, like the preacher dude in Deadwood.
September 18th, 2006 - 19:12
Ev,
There’s plenty of truth in what you say and I’m a non-believer myself. But, I’ve gotten more careful about labelling anyone who believes as being somehow cock-eyed or warped. I know some believers who are among the greatest humans to walk the Earth. I know some who are the biggest crapweasels too.
As long as they can leave me in peace, I’m all for them believing anything that gets them through. So I guess the probelm may not be religion so much as it is the humans who manage to fuck it up.
Good words in any case and not a fart joke amongst them. Keep up the good work.
September 18th, 2006 - 21:13
Wow, Ev. Excellent thoughts and really well written. I’m quite impressed, and I agree with Poobah, keep writing.
*applauds*
September 19th, 2006 - 13:10
GayJ: all this talk about atrocity is making my penis soft.
Sulk: You have officially offended me and my God. Prepare to be smited in 3….2…1…………Oh, shit. I’m an aetheist. Well, if I weren’t you would need to prepare to be smited(smoted? smote?) Instead, let’s just smoke out.
Trouble in the Bubble: You know what I find creepy? Old Clowns and Body-Building Women.
Onomatopoeia: You will never, ever have to endure a fart joke from me. That’s JJ’s forte. Also, he likes lots and lots of pictures of dudes with their cocks out. Send them to thechurning AT gmail DOT COM. He especially loves big, bald black men.
Slur: The thing is, it’s not hard to impress the lefties with anti-religion rhetoric. And that’s why I was kinda mailing this one in, but hell, they asked for it. Besides, my writing is apathetic, at best. But I do like it when hot ladies compliment me and my “prowess”.
September 19th, 2006 - 21:00
I have a funny and thoughtful Phillies blog that I think you will enjoy. Come check it out at http://pabaseball.blogspot.com
Hope to see you there, and keep spreading the Philly love!
October 18th, 2008 - 17:58
thanks for sharing your opinion publicly.
December 30th, 2010 - 15:04
Hello.This post was extremely fascinating, especially because I was searching for thoughts on this subject last Monday.