Half-retarded
Oct. 10, 2006 by Jason
I have a few very important questions for The Churning Loyalists:
- Is “retarded” a socially acceptable word? Ah, fuck it - I’m using it.
- Do retarded people ever fall in love with non-retarded people (and vice versa)?
- Do retarded people ever have sex with non-retarded people?
- Do those sexual encounters ever lead to pregnancy?
- Would a retarded chick go through with it and give birth?
- Are those children half-retarded?
- Do those half-retarded kids have a rough time explaining the situation to their friends?
Friend: “Dude, what’s up with your mom? She sounded weird when she picked up the phone”
Half-retard: “Oh nothing. She’s just retarded.”
Friend: “Your mom’s retarded?!?”
Half-retard: “Yeah, dude. But my dad’s not. He’s just a regular guy.”
Friend: “Your dad fucked a retard?”
Half-retard: “Yeah, I guess so.”
Friend: “Dude - that’s sooo hot.” - Retard sex probably doesn’t seem hot to most people…. Does it?
October 10th, 2006
in the movies at least they make the retarded chicks give up the babies (as in abort them) because of whatever reason.
October 10th, 2006
I think Christina Ricci was in a movie about this very topic. Pumpkin?
October 10th, 2006
And I thought it was a social class, now it seems to be some kind of kinky stuff.
Should I try it out?
October 10th, 2006
Two of the retards I went to school with got married and reproduced. They walk around town holding hands, pushing the baby carriages and the guy works at St. Vincent de Paul’s.
Okay, so they aren’t full-fledged retards, but were in the “special” classes. They had their own little circle of drama and boyfriend stealing. Come to think of it, there is another couple from the special classes that hooked up, with kids and I’ve heard stories about what was found when child protective services had to go into their apartment.
October 10th, 2006
Socially acceptable? As in PC? What do you care what those retards think? I actually prefer “weetod” myself.
The Other Sister
Giovanni Ribisi played such an excellent retard in that movie!
October 10th, 2006
There was an episode of SVU where a retarded girl got knocked up, she wanted to keep it but her mom didn’t want her to because she didn’t want her to have a retarded child too.
October 10th, 2006
ROFLAO!!!!! OMG! I’m going straight to hell…
Remember the movie I Am Sam?
October 10th, 2006
I think it’d be pretty hot, they’d be really grateful, right? Ooh, maybe they’d clap and squeal happily during sex!
October 10th, 2006
And ofcourse the drooling would be a natural lubricant.
October 11th, 2006
Oooh, one more benefit: free McDonald’s food that they bring home from work. Ahahahaaaa… please don’t report me to social services!
October 11th, 2006
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. No. No. Hell no.
Long time no visit this place. I found it through site explorer on Yahoo!
October 11th, 2006
So how do you determine word “retard”? Are you referring to the intellect capacity of a person?
In that case just take a look of rednecks. Most of them would qualify for “retardness”.
And by redneck, I refer almost everyone who lives in a rural areas.
Oh, this was about sex??
Well and in that case; have you ever seen the movie: “Joe Dirt”?? The scene between David Spade’s and Jaime Pressly’s charachters is my answer.
You’re welcome, sir.
October 11th, 2006
I’m not a loyalist but a friend of Randi. So that must count for something:
* Is “retarded” a socially acceptable word? When its something cool I think yes. Like oooh damn that party was retarded.
* Do retarded people ever fall in love with non-retarded people (and vice versa)? Prolly.
* Do retarded people ever have sex with non-retarded people? Yes.
* Do those sexual encounters ever lead to pregnancy? Prolly.
* Would a retarded chick go through with it and give birth? Dude these are weird fucking questions.
* Are those children half-retarded? Doubt it.
* Do those half-retarded kids have a rough time explaining the situation to their friends? Yes.
* Retard sex probably doesn’t seem hot to most people…. Does it? Not to me it doesnt.
October 11th, 2006
Retarded is the new “bad”. Y’know…something that is really good used to be called “bad”…meaning “good”.
So, if something’s retarded, that would make it something awesome!
Example: That up-and-coming band, The Codes (who serve PBR at their gigs), are wicked retarded! (Meaning really fucking awesome!)
Rock on your retards!
(0r, as we say in Maine…re-tahds!)
–TFKoP
October 11th, 2006
i’m so ashamed… no forrest gump jokes or references… pretty sad coming from the same group that looks at alizee’s ass… (always walking the fine line between porn and art)…
anyone ever catch the episode of law and order where the red head was gang raped, etc. by the preps and jack tried to get a conviction, but the girl took the stand and told the court she liked it… and the judge dismissed the case… that was a good one… oh, crap! i watch too much tv!
October 12th, 2006
sarah
Too bad. Someone should make a movie about this. It would be groundbreaking.
Randi
Oh shit - you’re right. I’ve seen that movie. She falls in love with a retarded dude and I think they bone and whatnot. On a side note, Christina Ricci whips out her delicious funbags in the beginning of the movie Prozac Nation.
franky
Yeah, give it a shot. You might fall in love.
cinders
What a heartwarming story of romance… and child protective services.
Diane
Wait - I haven’t seen The Other Sister. Is it a movie about retards in love? If so, are there any full-nude sex scenes?
April
I bet it was more of a selfish decision on the mom’s part. I mean, if she let her retarded daughter give birth, she’s gott know she’ll be the one dealing with the baby all the time. She couldn’t just leave her daughter alone to raise a child on her own.
MacBros
Sean Penn didn’t seem natural to me as a retard. “HI I”M SAAAM!!!” Retards don’t yell all the time. Just sometimes.
shirley
Drooling and squealing! I can just picture it:
“My cock is tho hodd, Yaayyyy!”
“Sthick yor cock in my ath. Yayyyy!”
Kunstemaecker
Site explorer?
Hmm… I just checked it out. Pretty interesting (though I’m still not sure what it does). I’ve entered my URL for authentication. We’ll see what happens.
rockyjay
Yeah that sex scene’s a classic. Aren’t they related or something? Redneck incest is always funny.
coodence
It counts. Any friend of Randi’s is a friend of The Churning. Thanks for checking us out. I don’t mean that in a sexual way, but you can take it that way if you want. So check us out again if you know what I mean. Shit, even I don’t know what I mean. Maybe I’m retarded.
thefinestkindofpork
Yeah, man. The Codes are definitely wicked retarded.
trav
I’m not a smart man. But I know what love is.
October 13th, 2006
My girlfriend and I use the term “retarded” all the time, and we work in a social services field, which means we’re fixing to get busted at any point for being politically incorrect and insensitive and all that bullshit.
But the funniest part is…her daughter, who is 6, did something the other day that was kind of stupid, and my friend asked, “Bree, why did you do that?”
Her daughter replied: “I’m tarded, mom.”
I fell out laughing when she told me about it, because my friend was going through “I’m a terrible mom” syndrome.
Yes, I am an insensitive asshole.
October 13th, 2006
I am now going to hell for laughing so hard at that telephone conversation.
October 13th, 2006
okay so i googled ‘retards dating’ and found that there are a bunch of online dating services for ‘differently abled’ peoples… but as far as i can see from the drop down list “retard” isnt one of the options of “specifying your disability”.
Why do i feel creepy now?