I’m Old!!!

January 5th, 2007 by JJ

Today is my 31st birthday. I’m in my fucking 30’s. Lame. In honor of this momentous and depressing occasion, Sweet Momo wrote me a poem. Imagine these words to the tune of the awful Third Eye Blind song She Likes Me for Me (sort of to the tune of that, but not exactly):

I love him for him
not because he likes to rock
or that he has an uncut cock
not because he drinks lots of beer
or ’cause he loves my rear

I love him for him
not because he walks the dog
or shares his life on his funny blog
Not cause he can play chords on his frets
or is obsessed with the internets

I love him for him
Not because he plays guitar
And enjoys hanging out at the bar
Lets me make out with his favorite boys
And handles it with coolness and poise

I love him for him
Not because he like his t-shirts tight
And likes to get it on, day and night
Not because he won’t eat meats
Or ’cause he’s awesome between the sheets

I love him for him
Not because he scratches my back
Or likes to touch my big rack
Not cause he’s into porn
But because today is the day that he was born.

Thanks, Momo!!! (Oh, and Momo wants to thank J.Mo, Freshie, and Lil’ Nell for their assistance.)

Posted in Humor, Personal | Digg this | Post to Del.icio.us |

16 Responses to “I’m Old!!!”

  1. on 05 Jan 2007   --joe 'TFKoP'

    **sniff sniff**

    That lovely ode is bringing tears to my eyes. Momo, that is so sweet!

    And thanks for not including pictures of the “cock”.

    Happy Birthday, JJ!

    DOS ENTENDRES!!!

    –joe “TFKoP”

  2. on 05 Jan 2007   Christa

    Happy Birthday :D
    I remember that I couldn’t really phantom 10 years ahead in time when I was in your age…that’s 11 years ago now :p

    Enjoy your age while you can. Time passes waaaay too fask once it got started.

  3. on 05 Jan 2007   Ron

    Happy Birthday JJ!! Hey wait…you have an uncut cock? hmmmmmmm

  4. on 05 Jan 2007   Robguy

    Ok, Ron and I went to the same place…

  5. on 05 Jan 2007   Ev

    Happy Birthday, you prince among men.

  6. on 06 Jan 2007   nappy40

    Happy Birthday.

  7. on 06 Jan 2007   J.Mo

    I love it! So clever. Happy birthday! xoxo

  8. on 06 Jan 2007   MacBros

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

  9. on 06 Jan 2007   Poppy

    Happy birthday! I’m older, and still kicking. So, look forward to being older. It’s fun. You get cat food on your 75th.

  10. on 07 Jan 2007   antickpix

    here’s looking atchoo kid..man..distinguished gent..

  11. on 07 Jan 2007   shirley

    Aww, I’m stealing that poem for Valentine’s Day. Happy Drink Til You Puke Day!

  12. on 08 Jan 2007   Diane

    Happy Belated Birthday JJ! Poem ROCKS Momo!

  13. on 08 Jan 2007   sarah

    happy birthday dude. though, i didn’t need to know such specifics about your jimmy.

  14. on 08 Jan 2007   mojotek

    Happy Birthday you wascawee old bastahd!! BUT…

    “Lets me make out with his favorite boys
    And handles it with coolness and poise    ”

    Wah? Huh? Forget the uncut cock thing… Momo makes out with Ev?

  15. on 08 Jan 2007   cinders

    Happy Birthday old guy! Is the bladder control starting to go yet? Don’t forget to schedule your colonoscopy.

  16. on 27 Jun 2007   The Churning » I don’t wanna be an old man anymore

    […] Participating in make-out parties […]

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