The Churning Loves The Finest Kind of Pork

This is the beginning of a series of Blog Reviews I'll be writing here at The Churning. It has something to do with a major blog-related payola scandal that you might have read about in the news. They say any press is good press? Tell that to my lawyers.

Okay - back to business... Yeah, I know. "The finest kind of pork" sounds like a euphemism for a massive cock, but it's actually a website run by a dude who calls himself The Mason. Speaking of massive cocks.... wait... No!... I'm not implying that The Mason has a massive cock. I mean, he might. Who knows? Maybe he has balls the size of watermelons. Damn, where was I?

Oh yeah, massive cocks. So The Mason is from Maine, but he lives in Philly. The other day, dude was walking along, minding his own business, when he stumbled across a giant green dildo vibrator thingy. He was startled enough to take a cameraphone picture and post it on his site.

Actually, now that I think of it - the story kind of sounds like a little kid making up a story to cover up shoplifting or something. Dad says, "Son, where'd you get that new toy car?" Kid goes, "What? This toy car? Oh, I... ummm... found it on the sidewalk!" Maybe The Mason took the vibrator home and this whole story is a ruse to explain how he just happened to "find" a dildo.

I should mention that The Mason likes to write about other things besides vibrators. He's also into disc golf and silly Maine slang terms, and enjoys complaining about public transportation. But that's neither here nor there. I just read his site in case he writes about sex toys again.