Don’t Fear the Medicine Cabinet
filed in Advice, Humor on Mar.06, 2007
Okay girls… Here’s a little unsolicited advice for you.
When you’re dating a guy and he comes over to your place for the first time, he will look in your medicine cabinet. I realize that may sound like bad news, but there’s no need to worry. Sure, he’s looking to see if you have any dirty secrets, and yes he’s snooping. But that doesn’t make him any more of an asshole than any other guy. All guys do it.
The trick is to prepare for this event and use it to your advantage. Clean out the medicine cabinet before he has a chance to snoop. Clear out all the nasty shit and leave the items he might find enticing. Here’s a list of items you may want to hide, and others you’ll want to flaunt.
Bad:
- Antipsychotics/antidepressants, etc
A first date is not the best time to let a guy into your brain. Your problems are your business until you want to share this info. Take your meds, try not to act psycho, and hide the pills somewhere else. - Wart remover
Seems pretty innocent, right? Nope. No dude wants a handjob from a girl whose palms look like the surface of the moon. - Yeast infection medication
I know this happens from time to time, but you don’t want your new fella to think you might be baking a loaf down there. - Hemorrhoid cream
No guy wants to be surprised by a swollen vein poking out of your asshole. If you had a problem and took care of it, then it’s time to put away the Preparation-H.
Good:
- Bikini cream
Even if you use a razor to keep your cooch in order, keep some Nair bikini cream in the medicine cabinet. A razor doesn’t imply much - only that you shave your legs or whatever. Bikini cream only has one purpose, and he’ll want to take an up-close look to see how well it works. - Condoms
Condoms say “This girl likes to fuck and she’s careful about it.” - Lube
KY or Astroglide or whatever. This shows the dude that you’re ready for action. Any girl might have condoms “just in case” but a girl only buys lube if she’s really planning to use it. - Enema kit
Yeah, you might be thinking that this belongs in the bad category. And the concern is that some guys might not “get it”. But for those in the know - a girl who cleans out her poop chute on a regular basis probably likes to take it up the ass. Either that or she’s just constipated. Dammit, maybe this one belongs in the bad category after all.
March 6th, 2007
[...] Posted by yogo on March 6th, 2007 For the single ladies reading this: Men do look into your medicine cabinet and they are a tad picky when it comes to your bedroom decor. So whether you’re newly single or chronically single or just giving the social life a good workout, there’s some good advice out there from the other side of the aisle. [...]
March 7th, 2007
enema kit??
unless she’s really kinky…
March 7th, 2007
i always like to see fuzzy bunny rabbits nibbling on alf-alfa when looking into a girls medicine cabinet….so i usually bring my own……………………I’m an illusionist damned it not a magician! shut up!
March 7th, 2007
another bad?
hormone pills
March 7th, 2007
I always like to see if she’s packing that cinnamon flavored liquid that when rubbed on a dick makes it all tingly and warm. And, it gives her a nice flavor in her mouth while she’s giving a blowjob.
Or maybe she’s just using Colgate Cinnamon. I’m guessing this would still go in the “good” column.
So, what if she’s got Viagra in the cabinet? I wouldn’t need it, but I’ll assume this too would be “good”.
As long as there’s no “anti-itch” or “fungal” creams in the cabinet, I think she’d be okay. Or a CD by the Codes.
*joe “TFKoP”
March 7th, 2007
I can’t believe I’m typing this but I’ve gotten cold sores all my life (so I know it’s not from sexy time) and I have a prescription for Valtrex for them. So I know if someone snoops they’ll think my cooch is herpified. Dang. Haters.
March 7th, 2007
I’ve never looked in anyone’s medicine cabinet.
Well, I’ve never “sneaked” a look in someone’s medicine cabinet.
Now, that’s either because I:
A) Hate everyone in the whole wide world, INCLUDING the contents of said individuals’ collective medicine cabinets
OR
B) I have medicinecabinetpeeker-o-phobia.
March 7th, 2007
Cinnamon flavored what??? I’m intrigued by that.
March 7th, 2007
Wow, my medicine cabinet seems so staid and boring these days.
You know, of course, that a lot of women use preparation H to deal with undereye circles, right?
I just think that should be something men should consider.
Not me, of course, I would never put butt creme under my eyes. i’ve just heard stories.
March 7th, 2007
Medicine cabinet jokes? This is pretty stale. I believe there’s a Seinfeld episode and a Southwest commercial that already deals with this and that joke has been around before them.
March 7th, 2007
BTW women also look in mens’ medicine cabinets.
I’ve always wanted to fill my cabinet with marbles so that they’d all fall out and be really noisy when someone opens the cabinet door. Alas, that would be difficult to set up and even harder to clean up.
March 7th, 2007
Noname (I mean Wholefoods):
This isn’t a joke. It’s just something I was thinking about. Honestly, I don’t spend time trying to be funny. I just write what I’m thinking.
March 7th, 2007
Ha. Busted! Just thought I’d heckle you. Way to call out my “anonymous” comment. I’ll try to be sure to comment at home next time. Keep up the good work.
March 7th, 2007
Wouldn’t a cabinet full of sex toys be good? :p
Also a naked picture of the chick.
March 9th, 2007
yogo:
Pingbacks rule!
antickpix:
Exactly!
oldgreensock:
You may not be a magician, but you do have plenty of tricks.
webmiztris:
Yeah, no kidding. You don’t want a “Crying Game” moment - unless you’re into that sorta thing.
joe “TFKoP”:
I think they make that cinnamon stuff for ladies too. Either way, it implies she’s into oral action.
randi:
Yeah, you gotta hide that stuff. You don’t want him to get the wrong idea.
Ev:
Dude, you’re missing out. You’ve gotta look. There’s usually some really jacked up shit in there.
Yogo:
Go here and enter cinnamon in the search field at the top of the page. You’ll see both the Good Head Gel and the Cinnamon Warming Lube.
trouble:
That’s no excuse. Maybe you use the enema kit to water your flowers, but that’s not the image he’ll have in his head when he finds it.
Eddie:
But that would be a great gag.
noname:
It’s tough to be truly anonymous when you’re surfing. And I really don’t mind hecklers. It makes me reconsider what I think is entertaining.
MacBros:
Yes and yes. You’re always thinking, dude.
March 13th, 2007
I’ve only given myself an enema one time and that was because I was constipated. I do, however, like it up the ass. But I never plan on getting it up the ass. It’s kinda like a in the moment type thing. If I’m fuckin and I feel like getting fucked in the ass, then I get fucked in the ass. I don’t stop and run to the bathroom to squirt an enema up my poop chute. That would kill the moment. Wouldn’t it? If by chance I get shit on his dick (which has happened twice) then the moment’s already over.