Coffee Makes the Poo Come Out

14Mar/0756

Coffee Makes the Poo Come Out

Drinking coffee makes the poo want to come out of my butt.

And sometimes it seems like just smelling coffee brewing makes the poo want to come out. Is that even possible?

(Here's more poop related fun)

Tagged as: drinking Leave a comment

Comments (56) Trackbacks (0) ( subscribe to comments on this post )

Randi
March 14th, 2007 - 14:31

When I was a smoker all it took was a cup o’joe and a puff or two and it would get things going. TMI? Maybe but you started it.
BeckEye
March 14th, 2007 - 18:27

Never touch the stuff. But beer makes me poo quite enough, thank you.
MacBros
March 14th, 2007 - 21:21

I can’t believe I’m going to comment on this one.

But, I’m buzzed right now.

Old Coffee that’s been sitting in the pot all day makes me crap. Especially right after I brush my teeth and then drink some old coffee.
MacBros
March 14th, 2007 - 21:22

*hic*
Ally
March 14th, 2007 - 23:18

Pavlov’s poo hehe
trouble
March 15th, 2007 - 10:24

Can’t poo without it, sadly.
Dawn (webmiztris)
March 15th, 2007 - 11:05

smoke a cigarette while drinking coffee — and the poop practically falls out of your ass
Ron
March 15th, 2007 - 13:51

OH MY GOD. Two cups of coffee in the morning and I am lead footin it to work. I am usually turtling while I’m going up in the elevator.
mojotek
March 19th, 2007 - 13:50

I could set a clock by the amount of time it takes for me to have to shit after consuming a cup of coffee. My latest calculations are 28 minutes and 37 seconds. Never fails… You can cut the time in half for each additional cup of coffee that I drink.
Robguy
March 23rd, 2007 - 15:30

I find the type of coffee makes a difference. Perkin’s coffee was the most effective (don’t live in the States anymore so don’t go to Perkins). Gourmet coffee that I grind fresh at home don’t seem to have a significant effect.
I love these high-brow posts!
cwell
May 25th, 2007 - 13:58

The mere thought of cocaine sends my ass in to quivering convulsions so i can see how coffee could have the same effect.
i am a balah
June 5th, 2007 - 09:35

Does anyone know what ingredient in coffee makes this happen? I want to overdose on it.
JJ
June 5th, 2007 - 09:44

I’m thinking it’s the caffeine. I drank a highly-caffeinated energy drink yesterday and immediately took a huge dump.
Leroy
July 2nd, 2007 - 16:38

I had been feeling a bit ill all day and had a cig in the evening. Within like 10 seconds I had a rumbling in my stomach that I knew was going to lead to trouble – I had to hot foot it to the bathroom, which turned out to be engaged. I literally didn’t know what to do. Fortunately the person in question came out of the bathroom and I exploded in the white godess slamming the door shut just in time, I sat there and shat water for about 15mins.

The cig definately put wheels in motion there! But I’ve also had same effect with coffee before but not as extreme!

For the record I’ve never fully shitted my pants though! Anyone here been caught short by a cup of coffee or cig?
JJ
July 2nd, 2007 - 16:50

A few years ago, I was feeling a little ill while at work. I went to the restroom to use the urinal. As I was standing there pissing, I tried to squeeze out a fart. Water came out instead. I went home immediately.
Timmy
September 17th, 2007 - 11:32

anything at Starbucks will get the poopy channel going – man I just got home from Starbucks (good thing) because all of a sudden there was a pressurized rumbling and I knew the coffee had done it’s thing again – got to the terlet just in time and ’bout blew the bottom of it out (mine, too).
Coffee – good for what has you plugged!!
steph
September 23rd, 2007 - 15:20

This happens to me. Every time i have a coffee i need to poop.
david
January 19th, 2008 - 20:35

I Was driving home one nite from work drinkin a nice hot cup of coffee…….i felt the urge to fart and shit my pants…NOT a good feeling…..i was on the interstate and was still 30 minutes from home….needless to say i had the windows down the rest of my drive.
alexx
February 18th, 2008 - 10:28

lmaoooo I only have to take a few sips and im running to the bathroom :/ anyone know what exactly makes this happen?
ami
March 13th, 2008 - 16:29

when you drink coffee which is a poison, and i LOVE my poison, your body goes into panic mode trying to flush the stuff out. Coffee makes you feel high or majorly adrenalized because your body, mind, kidneys, etc are in survival mode. your bowels are basically spasming as soon as the coffee hits it. it’s a wonderful feeling once it’s over with.
Paul
May 19th, 2008 - 12:16

I find the opposite, when I eat poo coffee comes out my arse.
CoffeePoo
June 1st, 2008 - 07:47

Ha ha ha, I’m drinking some heavy coffee after a hard night out and was about to take a crap when I, for reasons unknown, googled ‘Why does coffee make me poo?’. This was the first site that came up and I nearly soiled myself laughing at the comments. Now, to take care of business.
lmao
August 21st, 2008 - 03:05

Coffee makes me crap like crazy so I looked it up to see if I could figure out why and I came across this. I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time!
CathyCrapper
September 11th, 2008 - 04:20

Lmaooo!!
Same here!
Just thought I’d google as it’s something I’ve often wondered about…
This site showed up first!
Hahaa…Anyway, gotta go….just finshed my coffee and yes…needs must!!!
Jack
September 11th, 2008 - 12:16

Heck, I got you all beat. Im on my laptop, drinking coffee, and takin a dooker, coffee rules!
laughylaughington
September 23rd, 2008 - 16:19

I thought I was the only one, what would we do without our google!
poopypants
September 26th, 2008 - 21:49

I love this!
I just googled this right now because I can’t even finish my coffee before I have to RUN to the bathroom. I’m talking a matter of minutes. And yes, it just happened. Needless to say, I can’t drink coffee if I have to leave home any time soon after. I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. Um, thanks?
cosbydropper
October 4th, 2008 - 04:30

It never fails… I should never need a colon cleansing because every afternoon when I wake up I make a pot of coffee and I have to drop a dookster about the same time everyday and I mean I freckle the hell out of that throne. Needless to say, I feel pretty good and cleansed all of the time.
Blastov
November 8th, 2008 - 13:30

If you want to have a real seismic event, cut out coffee for about 4 days. I did this then had a cup at work. ‘The Churning’ started & before I knew it I was hanging on to the toilet seat for dear life with my feet hitting the stall door. WOW. That’s one to tell the Grandkids.
azebra
November 20th, 2008 - 10:17

wow coffee its great i love it, once i drank a big ole cup at my computer, lit a smoke, squeezed a toot, big mistake b/c my stomach was already grumbling i soon found myself sitting in a pile of semi-liquid viscus matter, after another puff i decided coffee is amazing, and im a dirt bag with a poopy bum, i try not to drink coffee in public, just in case i have a toot, lol SHIT FART again
shardbucks
December 16th, 2008 - 23:52

hahaha! It seems like if I drink coffee black, I immediately start to feel poo knockin on my butt hole, just waiting to burst out. But if I Add cream and or sugar it doesn’t seem to have the effect.
Poopallday
January 21st, 2009 - 13:39

I have to say within 15 minutes of my first cup I am running to the crapper. I REALLY have to watch where I drink coffee. No matter where I go from the airplane to a starbucks if I start drinking it I will have to shit period. It is annoying to be honest but what can you do. My friends think I am a freak but it’s the body at work right? I have no idea what in coffee makes you go but cleans me out 4 times a day.
gj
January 22nd, 2009 - 16:47

Yea, it absolutely works for me too. I start the day with a cup of coffee and a power dump. Guaranteed within 15 minutes or less of drinking the coffe. Subsequent cups of coffee after the morning session cause me to get the urge, but it passes. (Colon already cleared.)
alloverit
January 23rd, 2009 - 13:27

I too googled “why does coffee make you poop?”

I’ve been curious because I quit coffee when I got pregnant, both things led to constipation, but fortunately I found that decaf works too! So, it’s got to be something other than the caffeine, right?
Laughingsoooohard!!!!
June 11th, 2009 - 13:18

I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard as I did when I came across this post. My “medical research” for someone else turn out to be a laugh fest for me. It cracks me up how willing everyone is to share their “poo stories”.
Jim Pony
June 12th, 2009 - 11:26

Coffee after a hard night of drinking turns into an all day affair in the office. Sucks to spend so much time in there every Saturday!
Clenched and Laughing
August 12th, 2009 - 11:12

I just finished my morning coffee and have been clenching my cheeks to keep it all in cause I can’t stop reading this. Off I go for relief!
ChronicConstipation
September 11th, 2009 - 10:08

bout a week ago i had cracker barrel for breakfast..then papa johns for lunch..bad combo. since then i havent been able to shit at all. At the moment..i have four cups of coffee in front of me and also my cigarettes. Time for the moment of truth, Hope it works!
coffeeRUNpoo
October 7th, 2009 - 01:06

i didnt know coffee did this and i started chugging a cup before working out so running was easier and i could go further. after 2 miles i ALWAYS had to stop and take a bathroom break no matter what. one day, i was trying to make it to 2 miles and suddenly shit my pants on accident. i wanted to die.

i stopped chugging coffee before workouts but i STILL have to stop to poo after the first 2 miles. im afraid to ever run outside again!
Miss80
October 23rd, 2009 - 08:20

Welfare was never supposed to be a career or heirloom passed from generation to generation. ,
Barbara
November 1st, 2009 - 13:19

Holy crap! Who knew so many were as curious as I was about this phenomena/natural enema!? Nobody really gave me an answer as to why this happens, but the comments have been entertaining and I know now I’m not alone. Yep, 25 minutes after drinking decaf, even, I’m on the john…..for hours after. BTW, the all day marathon only occurs when I drink something commercial like Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts.
haha
November 2nd, 2009 - 11:18

i love waking up, drinking coffee, and shitting my ass off
Mashroob
November 2nd, 2009 - 11:51

I too wanted to know why coffee makes you poop because right now i’m hunched over moaning calling to god after my daily 2 cups(well technically about 4 cause the mugs are big). I always drink coffee in the morning on weekdays to keep me regular cause its the only time i ever go. Well friday i didnt drink any cause i was with friends which means i didnt drink any the rest of the weekend and i always eat tons of junk when i’m with them cause thats all they get and as we know shitty food contains no fiber so it was just building up and halloween..oh god.. I have been literally glued to the toilet for about 2 hrs.. when the naushea and urge passes i step outside for a cigg and after about 2 puffs i have to run to the toilet with pants around ankles. i do not reccommend going long periods of time without coffee. Especially if you have messed up bowels like me but i find if i put milk in it its not as strong but i always drink it black with sugar which murderssss. Nothing but water for the rest of the day. I dont think i’d be able to keep food down if i ate.
Beulah
November 4th, 2009 - 11:20

well it’s true….we ran out for a couple of days and I had tea in the mornings instead of my daily coffee, but this morning I was absolutely miserably constipated…not to mention I’m pregnant. So when I got to work I fixed myself a nice cup of French Vanilla. Well within the hour I seriously learned what 3 days stored poop looks like in a public restroom. I thought I was gonna have to call a plumber. Never again, I need my coffee to pooh!
Debby
November 7th, 2009 - 10:36

I also have the coffee poop problem, but mine is I drink my coffee at work during the week, no problem..on Sat morning I have my coffee at home. Within minutes I am on the toilet, over and over again. That is only cup one. Cup two does not have the same effect, guess I am empty by then. I NEVER have my weekend coffee if I have to go some place as, I have had the not make it to the toilet problem :{ not fun at all. Well I have not had my second cup yet so I need to end so I can go again.
Amused
November 16th, 2009 - 09:06

I have heard that decaf works as well as regular because it is a hot liquid. Apparently that has a strong effect on the bowels, and the caffeine helps significantly as well. Combine the two and look out below.
poppers=poopers
November 21st, 2009 - 15:57

I wonder how many people have this exact same effect? Or how many people will end up reading this forum about dukes!! Coffee + Smoke = a really Shitty day.
Bri
December 4th, 2009 - 04:13

I almost peed on myself reading some of these comments. HAH

But I’ve really been wondering why caffeine makes you poop? Now I use to drink coffee and tea a lot. Tea usually made me have to pee every 10 minutes and coffee usually DESTROYED my stomach. Can anyone say bubbleguts?

But I’ve started college and have been drinking a few energy drinks recently. Apparently these have 2 servings of caffeine in them and I end up having to take a crap RIGHT AFTER (not even exaggerating) I finish a can. I mean as soon as I get up to throw the empty can in the garbage I gotta drop some kids off at the pool :/ But why? And whats even worse is that I usually get mad diarrhea (even on a generally empty stomach)

WHY? Is it really healthy yo poo so damn much?
Trace
December 11th, 2009 - 07:34

I always have a cup after taking my daughter to school. Add a ciggy to that and the result is an insta-shit. Not funny when the postman turns up just as I’ve sat down, 2 mintues later you can hear me yelling out the window I opened in preperation “just shove the parcel through the catflap”. lol.
Ann
January 1st, 2010 - 16:15

If I drink coffee everyday it does not have the same effect as if I take a week off then have some just to make sure everything is cleaned out! Sometimes Ill do a day of coffee and green apples(lots of fiber) just make sure that if you have to Fart you better run to the bathroom because it may actually be poop coming out instead! Especially at the gym if your on a bike! I thought poop came out so i went to the bathroom thank God it wasn’t but sure could have been.