Coffee Makes the Poo Come Out
filed in Humor on Mar.14, 2007
Drinking coffee makes the poo want to come out of my butt.
And sometimes it seems like just smelling coffee brewing makes the poo want to come out. Is that even possible?
(Here’s more poop related fun)
March 14th, 2007
When I was a smoker all it took was a cup o’joe and a puff or two and it would get things going. TMI? Maybe but you started it.
March 14th, 2007
Never touch the stuff. But beer makes me poo quite enough, thank you.
March 14th, 2007
I can’t believe I’m going to comment on this one.
But, I’m buzzed right now.
Old Coffee that’s been sitting in the pot all day makes me crap. Especially right after I brush my teeth and then drink some old coffee.
March 14th, 2007
*hic*
March 14th, 2007
Pavlov’s poo hehe
March 15th, 2007
Can’t poo without it, sadly.
March 15th, 2007
smoke a cigarette while drinking coffee — and the poop practically falls out of your ass
March 15th, 2007
OH MY GOD. Two cups of coffee in the morning and I am lead footin it to work. I am usually turtling while I’m going up in the elevator.
March 19th, 2007
I could set a clock by the amount of time it takes for me to have to shit after consuming a cup of coffee. My latest calculations are 28 minutes and 37 seconds. Never fails… You can cut the time in half for each additional cup of coffee that I drink.
March 23rd, 2007
I find the type of coffee makes a difference. Perkin’s coffee was the most effective (don’t live in the States anymore so don’t go to Perkins). Gourmet coffee that I grind fresh at home don’t seem to have a significant effect.
I love these high-brow posts!
May 25th, 2007
The mere thought of cocaine sends my ass in to quivering convulsions so i can see how coffee could have the same effect.
June 5th, 2007
Does anyone know what ingredient in coffee makes this happen? I want to overdose on it.
June 5th, 2007
I’m thinking it’s the caffeine. I drank a highly-caffeinated energy drink yesterday and immediately took a huge dump.
July 2nd, 2007
I had been feeling a bit ill all day and had a cig in the evening. Within like 10 seconds I had a rumbling in my stomach that I knew was going to lead to trouble - I had to hot foot it to the bathroom, which turned out to be engaged. I literally didn’t know what to do. Fortunately the person in question came out of the bathroom and I exploded in the white godess slamming the door shut just in time, I sat there and shat water for about 15mins.
The cig definately put wheels in motion there! But I’ve also had same effect with coffee before but not as extreme!
For the record I’ve never fully shitted my pants though! Anyone here been caught short by a cup of coffee or cig?
July 2nd, 2007
A few years ago, I was feeling a little ill while at work. I went to the restroom to use the urinal. As I was standing there pissing, I tried to squeeze out a fart. Water came out instead. I went home immediately.
September 17th, 2007
anything at Starbucks will get the poopy channel going - man I just got home from Starbucks (good thing) because all of a sudden there was a pressurized rumbling and I knew the coffee had done it’s thing again - got to the terlet just in time and ’bout blew the bottom of it out (mine, too).
Coffee - good for what has you plugged!!
September 23rd, 2007
This happens to me. Every time i have a coffee i need to poop.
January 19th, 2008
I Was driving home one nite from work drinkin a nice hot cup of coffee…….i felt the urge to fart and shit my pants…NOT a good feeling…..i was on the interstate and was still 30 minutes from home….needless to say i had the windows down the rest of my drive.
February 18th, 2008
lmaoooo I only have to take a few sips and im running to the bathroom :/ anyone know what exactly makes this happen?
March 13th, 2008
when you drink coffee which is a poison, and i LOVE my poison, your body goes into panic mode trying to flush the stuff out. Coffee makes you feel high or majorly adrenalized because your body, mind, kidneys, etc are in survival mode. your bowels are basically spasming as soon as the coffee hits it. it’s a wonderful feeling once it’s over with.
May 19th, 2008
I find the opposite, when I eat poo coffee comes out my arse.
June 1st, 2008
Ha ha ha, I’m drinking some heavy coffee after a hard night out and was about to take a crap when I, for reasons unknown, googled ‘Why does coffee make me poo?’. This was the first site that came up and I nearly soiled myself laughing at the comments. Now, to take care of business.
August 21st, 2008
Coffee makes me crap like crazy so I looked it up to see if I could figure out why and I came across this. I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time!
September 11th, 2008
Lmaooo!!
Same here!
Just thought I’d google as it’s something I’ve often wondered about…
This site showed up first!
Hahaa…Anyway, gotta go….just finshed my coffee and yes…needs must!!!
September 11th, 2008
Heck, I got you all beat. Im on my laptop, drinking coffee, and takin a dooker, coffee rules!
September 23rd, 2008
I thought I was the only one, what would we do without our google!
September 26th, 2008
I love this!
I just googled this right now because I can’t even finish my coffee before I have to RUN to the bathroom. I’m talking a matter of minutes. And yes, it just happened. Needless to say, I can’t drink coffee if I have to leave home any time soon after. I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time. Um, thanks?
October 4th, 2008
It never fails… I should never need a colon cleansing because every afternoon when I wake up I make a pot of coffee and I have to drop a dookster about the same time everyday and I mean I freckle the hell out of that throne. Needless to say, I feel pretty good and cleansed all of the time.