Motherfucker Gonna Turn Up the Pressure

I can't believe I haven't told you this story yet. This shit is insane.

Momo and I traveled to Peru last year with J-Mo and P3. The four of us stopped in several amazing cities and towns, but the main attraction for us was the temple complex at Machu Picchu.

To get there, we took a train from Cuzco to Aguas Calientes, which is at the base of Machu Picchu (translates as "old mountain"). Learn more about all that shit on Wiki. I'll tell you all about that experience some other time. This story is about the train ride back to Cuzco.

The ride took several hours. We were exhausted from hiking and figured we'd sleep the whole way back. A couple of hours into the ride, a surreal fashion show broke out. It started with a couple of Peruvians dressed in traditional costumes with masks and headdresses (kinda like this). They ran up and down the aisle of the train jumping and dancing. I was trying to sleep when they ran up and they scared the shit out of me.

Next, this trendy looking Peruvian couple started strutting back and forth down the aisle. They worked for the travel company, but I guess they also had a side job as fashion models. Dance music was blaring through the speakers in the train. It sounded like techno music with samples from old 80's club songs. The two "models" were wearing hip, modern clothes along with Peruvian-made scarves, sweaters and shawls.

In Peru, a lot of people speak English. But for the most part, you have to speak clearly and articulately to communicate effectively. So during this little fashion show when the music was playing, I really don't think the Peruvians understood the lyrics. The words were moving fast with audio effects on them and they were overshadowed by repetitive bass beats. After a couple of songs, it all started to blend together.

"chucka chucka dun dun na na na sessha" .... "chucka chucka dun dun na na na sessha" By the third song I was barely paying attention to the music and I had no idea what the lyrics were. Especially when I was so distracted by the fashion models.

Then I heard it. The words were clear and there was only one line to this song, repeating over and over again.

"Motherfucker gonna turn up the pressure! Motherfucker gonna turn up the pressure!"

This might be hard to believe, but it got even worse. The sample began repeating "Motherfucker! Motherfucker! Motherfucker! Motherfucker! Motherfucker! Motherfucker!" I am not shitting you. The song must have repeated the word motherfucker a hundred times.

The four of us looked at each other in amazement and confusion. No one else seemed to notice. All of these Peruvians on the train just bobbed their heads along with the beat watching the fashion show. And the models smiled and strutted the whole time.

I hope they got that song stuck in their heads and they sing along at home not realizing what they're saying.