The Churning
5Oct/075

I’m addicted to fantasy football

The thing is... I'm not even sure I like football. When I lived in Florida, I watched every game the Bucs played. And yes, I was a Bucs fan before they won the Superbowl. And I continued to root for them during their recent slump (though, they're not half bad this year).

But I never really paid much attention to any other teams. I could give a hot steamy shit if the Chargers were playing the Niners.

Then last year I joined the office fantasy football league. I became obsessed. I learned about all the key players on every team. I knew who was injured, which teams had the best pass defense, which player had the best record playing in domes, etc. I won the pool last year, so my obsession sort of paid off.

Even more so, I really enjoyed watching football. Gambling does that for me. Suddenly I'm into Texas Hold'em. Or I'll decide that pool is my favorite game.

During the offseason, it all sort of fell out of my head like R. Budd Dwyer's brain. By the time the fantasy football draft rolled around again, I couldn't remember any of the football facts that I stored in my mental file just a few months earlier. Still, I did my homework and made some decent selections in the draft. Now, 4 weeks into the season, I'm obsessed again.

Stupid trivia I'll forget in a couple months:

  • Brian Leonard backs up Steven Jackson, but it doesn't matter because St. Louis sucks this year.
  • When Terrell Owens draws heavy coverage, Patrick Crayton can be a badass.
  • Cadillac Williams is an injury magnet.
  • Dwayne Bowe is a rookie phenom with touchdowns in three straight games.
  • The Eagles are only good if they are wearing bright yellow.

Add to the list if you're a football dork. If not, go away and leave me alone - I'm busy setting up my roster for Sunday.

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Comments (5) Trackbacks (0)
  1. Ok, see you later. I’ll be watching rugby.

  2. I hate fantasy football.

  3. I like to play fantasy sexball. I draft all sorts of porn sluts and whores, then they earn points during the season by boning different dudes and sexing it up all over the place.

  4. i could give a hot steamy shit if i weren’t constipated.

  5. Speaking of the Bucs and Cadillac Williams being injured, the guy who replaced him, Ernest Graham…..I went to high school with him AND Greg Spires (also of the Bucs). I tutored Greg in Chemistry when he was a senior and I was a freshman. I feel important now.


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