Beautiful Plano, Texas
November 15th, 2007 by JJ
There are thousands of amazing cities in this world - places with rich history, stunning architecture, world-renowned restaurants… and then there’s Plano, TX.
First - to get there from the Dallas airport, you travel along the President George Bush Turnpike. I’m not shitting you. Dude’s still in office and he already has a highway named after him. And to top it off, I have never paid so many tolls for such a horrible trip in my life. The irony was not lost on me.
Don’t get me wrong - Plano is truly breathtaking… if you are a huge fan of strip malls, chain restaurants, bland architecture, and giant trucks and SUVs. Everywhere - giant people driving giant vehicles. And by giant people, I mean the kind of people who eat a hearty breakfast at McDonald’s, guzzle Starbucks frappuccinos all day, pop in to Chili’s for lunch, and eat Applebee’s for dinner. What a lifestyle.
At least they have a fantastic beer selection at the local pubs. Wait… did I say local pubs? I meant the cookie cutter martini bars and chain restaurant happy hours. Oh and I just realized I said “fantastic beer selection”. I’m a silly goose. Obviously I meant “bullshit selection of colostomy bag contents poured into a brown bottle”. You like Michelob Ultra, Budweiser, Coors, and Miller Lite? Plano is perfect for you. You can even try the one beer they offer that maybe you haven’t tried before - Shiner Bock. What a treat - a beer brewed in Shiner, TX. I wonder if people in Plano realize that other countries do in fact brew beer. Some of those international beers are actually pretty tasty. I should have informed them.
Okay, I realize I’m being a pompous ass. People are different. For all I know these are nice people with great taste. Maybe they swarm to the strip malls in their SUVs to sip Budweisers because they have no other options. Ahh fuck it. If that’s the case, I still feel sorry for them. Dopes.
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Hmmmm…cookie cutter restaurants, bland beer selection, and a highway named after a completely inept leader?
Maybe they should spell it Plain-o.
Up here in Maine there’s a push to have something named after the current president……it’s a sewage treatment plant.
(I’m joking of course, but what better place to put that idiot’s name on, eh?)
first off… don’t mess with texas… second, shiner bock is my favorite beer and a lot better than the other big beers brewed in texas (although ziegenbock is the anheuser-busch version and isn’t half bad… but don’t go for lone star or pearl… ew!) you should have stayed in dallas and gone to chuy’s… you needed to order a texas martini… and find out where cruiserweight is playing (although they are mostly based in austin)… and shiner also makes a good blonde, hefeweizen, dunkelweizen, and kölsch… third, the road is named after the first prez. by that anme… and so is the airport in houston… although, there is a poetry behind saying that you will be flying into george bush… anyway, if you want to visit texas… keep to austin, houston, dallas, and san antonio only… too bad you moved out of florida because you could have gone to my many texas beer parties where you can enjoy texas beer the way god intended it… with a bunch of drunk members of the liberal media…
TFKoP:
I love that idea! The GWB Shithole.
Trav:
Hey now, Austin’s fantastic. Great bars and live music. And Dallas… ahhh who am I kidding? Dallas is butt.
I’d like to say i’m a pretty hardcore beer lover and think that almost every beer has it’s place. If I had to pick a style as my fav right now, I’d say any really hoppy IPA.
However, don’t bag on that Shiner Bock. It’s pretty damn tasty and will do in a pinch. I’ve never lived in texas so I’m not jaded to the local selection.
If you overlook the Bush airport thing, Houston is the best thing about Texas. Dallas is great for getting nips and tucks, but it’s really all about Houston.
Really…Houston owns. Great food, and good people. Plano is a suburb, and the suburbs all look the same these days in america. Nothing much has changed since Rush sang subdivisions, in fact.
I live in Dallas and you’re right Plano is a shithole. However, you’re still a douche. Plano is a suburb of Dallas. Like 90% of all suburbs it’s full of chain restruants, stip malls, and equally drone-like people. Next time you want culture or architecture I suggest you don’t seek it in a suburb.
Not that I’m a big fan of either President Bush, but the turnpike is named after George Bush, who’s no longer in office. I’ll give you a little hint to tell them apart. The current president Bush has a W. in his name. See now isn’t that easy.
As far as what trav said Chuys sucks ass. If they spent half as much time learning to cook decent Mexican food as they did looking for eccentric decorations to hang on their walls it might be ok.
james, you obviously have not been to the orginal chuys in austin… the houston one is okay… the one near the woodlands is too yuppie… but the chuys in austin has the right mix of good food, decor, etc. of course, if you want real tex-mex you go to san antonio, everyone knows that! and don’t get me started on all the good places down there…
I used to live about 5 minutes from Plano. Did you know it was named by a guy who thought it was the Spanish word for “plain”?
Ohhhhh, and Chuy’s is delicious.
And the George Bush is named after Senior.
Still funny though.
Yeah, the Bush airport is freaking hilarious.
Okay, obviously you are without a clue… Plano is by far one of the nicest cities in Texas. I don’t know where ya’ll get off saying that Plano is a shithole… Its per capita income far exceeds almost all cities in the state. Most cities are considered ghetto conpaired to Plano. And I would like someone to try and probe me wrong. It looks like your claim about the GBT has already been addressed. Second, applebees is gross. That’s why we don’t have one in Plano. And yes we do have chains but we also have many exclusive restataunts as well. Bobs steakhouse and jaspers to name two. Also, how many subs do you know that have a Dolce & Gabbana, Hugo Boss, Lacoste, Escada, and Neiman Marcus. Enough said. And as for the bland statement. Have you seen the shops at legacy? Have you driven through willow bend? And I don’t know where you got the idea that everyone here is fat. This city is very shallow and cares much about looks.
For its size, Plano is more than adequate.
You don’t know what you are talking about.
damn jj! stop pissing off the natives!!!
p.s. if you got hb’s email, wish him a happy birthday!