Beautiful Plano, Texas
There are thousands of amazing cities in this world - places with rich history, stunning architecture, world-renowned restaurants... and then there's Plano, TX.
First - to get there from the Dallas airport, you travel along the President George Bush Turnpike. I'm not shitting you. Dude's still in office and he already has a highway named after him. And to top it off, I have never paid so many tolls for such a horrible trip in my life. The irony was not lost on me.
Don't get me wrong - Plano is truly breathtaking... if you are a huge fan of strip malls, chain restaurants, bland architecture, and giant trucks and SUVs. Everywhere - giant people driving giant vehicles. And by giant people, I mean the kind of people who eat a hearty breakfast at McDonald's, guzzle Starbucks frappuccinos all day, pop in to Chili's for lunch, and eat Applebee's for dinner. What a lifestyle.
At least they have a fantastic beer selection at the local pubs. Wait... did I say local pubs? I meant the cookie cutter martini bars and chain restaurant happy hours. Oh and I just realized I said "fantastic beer selection". I'm a silly goose. Obviously I meant "bullshit selection of colostomy bag contents poured into a brown bottle". You like Michelob Ultra, Budweiser, Coors, and Miller Lite? Plano is perfect for you. You can even try the one beer they offer that maybe you haven't tried before - Shiner Bock. What a treat - a beer brewed in Shiner, TX. I wonder if people in Plano realize that other countries do in fact brew beer. Some of those international beers are actually pretty tasty. I should have informed them.
Okay, I realize I'm being a pompous ass. People are different. For all I know these are nice people with great taste. Maybe they swarm to the strip malls in their SUVs to sip Budweisers because they have no other options. Ahh fuck it. If that's the case, I still feel sorry for them. Dopes.
Support our advertisers
Recent Posts
- What not to do during a job interview
- Search Strings – Porn that will make you sick
- Twitter Phishing and the Pharma Hack
- Vegetarians are weird and unhealthy and stupid
- Text Message Misunderstanding
Subscribe via Email
Feedback
Recent Comments
- Yvk on How Often does a Normal Person Masturbate?
- Ellebelles on What do Guys Think of Inverted Nipples?
- missy on What do Guys Think of Inverted Nipples?
- Dennis on Albino Porn Doesn’t Exist
- Ellebelles on What do Guys Think of Inverted Nipples?
Blogs
- Adventures in Blah Blah Land
- Avitable-isms
- Bacon After Dark
- Captain & Coke with a Lime
- citynoise.org : Philadelphia
- Idle-Ranting Revisited
- MacBros’ Place
- My Life as Rocky’s Dad
- Randi’s Random Rantings
- String and Timekeeping
- The Airing of Grievances
- The Finest Kind of Pork
- The Omnipotent Poobah Speaks!
- The Pop Eye
Friends
- An Artist’s Journal
- Martha Brooks Marshall
- Martha Brooks Marshall – absolutearts.com
- Molumbus
- Premium Horticultural Oil
November 17th, 2007 - 14:01
Hmmmm…cookie cutter restaurants, bland beer selection, and a highway named after a completely inept leader?
Maybe they should spell it Plain-o.
Up here in Maine there’s a push to have something named after the current president……it’s a sewage treatment plant.
(I’m joking of course, but what better place to put that idiot’s name on, eh?)
November 19th, 2007 - 21:19
first off… don’t mess with texas… second, shiner bock is my favorite beer and a lot better than the other big beers brewed in texas (although ziegenbock is the anheuser-busch version and isn’t half bad… but don’t go for lone star or pearl… ew!) you should have stayed in dallas and gone to chuy’s… you needed to order a texas martini… and find out where cruiserweight is playing (although they are mostly based in austin)… and shiner also makes a good blonde, hefeweizen, dunkelweizen, and kölsch… third, the road is named after the first prez. by that anme… and so is the airport in houston… although, there is a poetry behind saying that you will be flying into george bush… anyway, if you want to visit texas… keep to austin, houston, dallas, and san antonio only… too bad you moved out of florida because you could have gone to my many texas beer parties where you can enjoy texas beer the way god intended it… with a bunch of drunk members of the liberal media…
November 20th, 2007 - 02:28
TFKoP:
I love that idea! The GWB Shithole.
Trav:
Hey now, Austin’s fantastic. Great bars and live music. And Dallas… ahhh who am I kidding? Dallas is butt.
November 20th, 2007 - 14:39
I’d like to say i’m a pretty hardcore beer lover and think that almost every beer has it’s place. If I had to pick a style as my fav right now, I’d say any really hoppy IPA.
However, don’t bag on that Shiner Bock. It’s pretty damn tasty and will do in a pinch. I’ve never lived in texas so I’m not jaded to the local selection.
November 25th, 2007 - 18:22
If you overlook the Bush airport thing, Houston is the best thing about Texas. Dallas is great for getting nips and tucks, but it’s really all about Houston.
November 25th, 2007 - 18:47
Really…Houston owns. Great food, and good people. Plano is a suburb, and the suburbs all look the same these days in america. Nothing much has changed since Rush sang subdivisions, in fact.
November 25th, 2007 - 18:54
I live in Dallas and you’re right Plano is a shithole. However, you’re still a douche. Plano is a suburb of Dallas. Like 90% of all suburbs it’s full of chain restruants, stip malls, and equally drone-like people. Next time you want culture or architecture I suggest you don’t seek it in a suburb.
Not that I’m a big fan of either President Bush, but the turnpike is named after George Bush, who’s no longer in office. I’ll give you a little hint to tell them apart. The current president Bush has a W. in his name. See now isn’t that easy.
As far as what trav said Chuys sucks ass. If they spent half as much time learning to cook decent Mexican food as they did looking for eccentric decorations to hang on their walls it might be ok.
November 25th, 2007 - 19:22
james, you obviously have not been to the orginal chuys in austin… the houston one is okay… the one near the woodlands is too yuppie… but the chuys in austin has the right mix of good food, decor, etc. of course, if you want real tex-mex you go to san antonio, everyone knows that! and don’t get me started on all the good places down there…
December 2nd, 2007 - 16:20
I used to live about 5 minutes from Plano. Did you know it was named by a guy who thought it was the Spanish word for “plain”?
Ohhhhh, and Chuy’s is delicious.
And the George Bush is named after Senior.
Still funny though.
December 3rd, 2007 - 03:40
Yeah, the Bush airport is freaking hilarious.
January 20th, 2008 - 18:26
Okay, obviously you are without a clue… Plano is by far one of the nicest cities in Texas. I don’t know where ya’ll get off saying that Plano is a shithole… Its per capita income far exceeds almost all cities in the state. Most cities are considered ghetto conpaired to Plano. And I would like someone to try and probe me wrong. It looks like your claim about the GBT has already been addressed. Second, applebees is gross. That’s why we don’t have one in Plano. And yes we do have chains but we also have many exclusive restataunts as well. Bobs steakhouse and jaspers to name two. Also, how many subs do you know that have a Dolce & Gabbana, Hugo Boss, Lacoste, Escada, and Neiman Marcus. Enough said. And as for the bland statement. Have you seen the shops at legacy? Have you driven through willow bend? And I don’t know where you got the idea that everyone here is fat. This city is very shallow and cares much about looks.
For its size, Plano is more than adequate.
You don’t know what you are talking about.
January 20th, 2008 - 19:12
damn jj! stop pissing off the natives!!!
p.s. if you got hb’s email, wish him a happy birthday!
September 8th, 2008 - 03:23
Hi friend i am ved prakash pathak
my dream one chance tour to texas
September 24th, 2008 - 17:13
Funny churn (old churn), thanks for the grin. I was born in cool Austin, lived in Sac, Spokane and Telluride most of my life, and currently quite happy here in Plano (job location.) You got the SUV part correct, but the toll road, beer, and fat people parts very wrong. I have never seen so many healthy beautiful people anywhere in all my travels. And most of the restaurants and bars have the same European and Asian beers I drank out west. The list is long, but try the Fillmore Pub downtown if you’re ever forced to return. I’ll buy you a Trappist ale.
Oh, it is also very culturally diverse here. I guess because of the strong local job market or the top rated schools. There are a large number of Asians, Hispanics, Middle Easterners, and Europeans here. My neighbors on my street are Iranian, Colombian (2), Syrian, Russian, and Belgium. That really surprised me, but it sure does make for some good ethnic food choices.
But I do get homesick from time to time. Most cities don’t have mountains, but whenever I crave the hills they’re are just a short flight away. I can fly anywhere from here (both coasts) in no time, which is cool.
Now off to the strip mall! Yee ha, pard-ner
September 24th, 2008 - 20:29
Michael:
Thanks for the comment. Your points are probably all true. I really only spent time at one hotel in a brand new development. I just like passing judgment on things. It’s fun!