Hit and Run
December 8th, 2007 by JJ
This is what I saw today as I was heading out to band practice. Apparently, someone crashed into my car last night and drove off. You can see they lost a headlight in the accident, and there’s some blue paint on my bumper.
But here’s the thing - I’m not even really all that mad. Remember how pissed off I was when someone broke into my old Subaru? That felt like a personal attack. This is completely different.
I assume the driver was drunk. I guess it’s possible they simply lost control, but it wasn’t snowing or raining. Also - I assume they aren’t wealthy. The headlight that was left behind looks like it’s from a real piece of shit. And my girl and I don’t exactly live in the ritziest neighborhood. My car was parked outside our apartment. Here’s our block:
So if this was a drunk driver, they probably felt like they couldn’t deal with the cops. And if they don’t have money (maybe they don’t even have insurance), perhaps they couldn’t afford to pay for the damage to my car.
That’s rational JJ talking. The other side of the coin is this: I’ve got to pay at least $500 for the repairs (I’m assuming insurance pays for the rest), my insurance rates will likely go up, I’ve been sitting here waiting three hours for the cops to show up so I can file a police report, I missed band practice, I’ll be without a car for at least a week, I’ll have to deal with the hassle of getting the car to the shop and picking it up, and the value of my car just plummeted because now it’s been in an accident.
Ahh fuck ‘em. Whoever did this deserves a blanket party. Who wants to help?
RSS
I already have the soap bars filled in the sock. Where do we meet?
I’m in.
MacBros
Soap is good but maybe we can use oranges this time. Nothing like a little citric acid in the eyes after you get the shit beat out of you with oranges. I mean, the punishment has to sort-of fit the crime.
JJ
Tough break on the car. I question your luck sometimes. What happened to the Subaru? Did I miss something?
All:
Good to know we have a gang in place for times like these. I prefer to use soda cans instead of soap bars. Reminds my of the scene in Bad Boys (the Sean Penn one, not the Fresh Prince one).
C-Dub:
It’s sort of a long story… I had the Subaru three years. In that time, it was in a hit and run (eerily similar to this one), I installed a new stereo and speakers (did such a shitty job, it was awful), it was broken into, etc. After all that, the fucker rattled on the highway and the interior looked like ass. I got sick of it and traded it in on the Element.
I think it was Bronson who put quarters in the sock.
what’s a blanket party? like, a picnic? feed those drunk drivers, wheee!
Yogo:
Sounds painful - and fun! If you hit the dude hard enough, the sock might break and it would look like a pinata party. Unless his head broke first, then it would look like a gory and disgusting pinata party. Though - either way, it’s a party.
Shirley:
It’s good clean fun. You sneak up behind your enemy, throw a blanket over his head and grab him in a bear hug from behind to hold the blanket in place. Then your friends pummel his face mercilessly until you start to see blood seep through the blanket. For added fun, you can throw a bar of soap or roll of quarters into a sock and swing it at his face like a mace.
I had someone smash my grill once while it was parked in front of my townhouse. To their credit, while they didn’t think they hit it that hard… they still left their contact info. There are a few polite people left in the world.